Re: How to handle agression in 6yr old

[Guest guest]

This is where behavioral therapy should come into place. The

idea is to make it worth his while to use an alternative communication to get

what he wants. There are a few companies in Broward that provide behavioral

analysis services. Someone that is credible should do an assessment and come up

with a behavioral plan.

Shirly

From: sList

[mailto:sList ] On Behalf Of mysonben2003

Sent: Saturday, August 01, 2009 4:47 PM

To: sList

Subject: How to handle agression in 6yr old

We need some suggestions on how to tackle the

following challenge.

Our son Ben is more or less a high functioning 6 yr old. He understands a lot

and we believe is very smart. Although he does speak and understand very well

given his condition, proper communication is a problem.

Whenever he gets angry or wants to get us or anyone else angry he resorts to

hitting or pinching. This has been a big problem in camp this past summer. He

also like to say " shut up " or " G-d damn it " . He knows it is

wrong, he knows that pinching and hitting hurts. He does it to get a reaction.

Every time he hits or pinches he says " does it hurt? " . If you say yes

he is satisfied. If you say no, he will continue to hit or pinch different

parts of you and harder till you answer yes it hurts.

In camp he had to be transferred to another group because his best friend from

kindergarten was in his group and he only wanted to be bext to him all the

time. If another child was, when the counselor was not looking hit or pinch or

push the others till they moved.

He knows saying shut up is bad and he is supposed to say be quiet. Again he

does it to get a reaction to to purposely be " bad " . Example " if

he says shut up and we stop playing with him, he will then tell us be quiet so

we can play again.

Any suggestion on how to replace these behaviors with more appropriate ones on

a consistent basis? Also are there any therapists who specialize in this type

of thing in the South Broward area?

Thanks for your help.

[Guest guest]

ARC of Broward has a Behavioral Program. They come to your house and teach you how to handle the specific behaviors. They use ABA approach. They have a grant so it is very inexpensive to get the services. Good luck! IdaSubject: How to handle agression in 6yr oldTo: sList Date: Saturday, August 1, 2009, 1:47 PM

We need some suggestions on how to tackle the following challenge.

Our son Ben is more or less a high functioning 6 yr old. He understands a lot and we believe is very smart. Although he does speak and understand very well given his condition, proper communication is a problem.

Whenever he gets angry or wants to get us or anyone else angry he resorts to hitting or pinching. This has been a big problem in camp this past summer. He also like to say "shut up" or "G-d damn it". He knows it is wrong, he knows that pinching and hitting hurts. He does it to get a reaction. Every time he hits or pinches he says "does it hurt?". If you say yes he is satisfied. If you say no, he will continue to hit or pinch different parts of you and harder till you answer yes it hurts.

In camp he had to be transferred to another group because his best friend from kindergarten was in his group and he only wanted to be bext to him all the time. If another child was, when the counselor was not looking hit or pinch or push the others till they moved.

He knows saying shut up is bad and he is supposed to say be quiet. Again he does it to get a reaction to to purposely be "bad". Example" if he says shut up and we stop playing with him, he will then tell us be quiet so we can play again.

Any suggestion on how to replace these behaviors with more appropriate ones on a consistent basis? Also are there any therapists who specialize in this type of thing in the South Broward area?

Thanks for your help.

[Guest guest]

If you wanted you could combine Iron, Zinc and Manganese with the behvioral

therapy. My son's doctors at Pfieffer Treatment Center prescribe these

supplements to help control my son's aggresion.

G.

>

> This is where behavioral therapy should come into place. The idea is to make

> it worth his while to use an alternative communication to get what he wants.

> There are a few companies in Broward that provide behavioral analysis

> services. Someone that is credible should do an assessment and come up with

> a behavioral plan.

>

>

>

> Shirly

>

>

>

> From: sList [mailto:sList ] On

> Behalf Of mysonben2003

> Sent: Saturday, August 01, 2009 4:47 PM

> To: sList

> Subject: How to handle agression in 6yr old

>

>

>

>

>

> We need some suggestions on how to tackle the following challenge.

>

> Our son Ben is more or less a high functioning 6 yr old. He understands a

> lot and we believe is very smart. Although he does speak and understand very

> well given his condition, proper communication is a problem.

>

> Whenever he gets angry or wants to get us or anyone else angry he resorts to

> hitting or pinching. This has been a big problem in camp this past summer.

> He also like to say " shut up " or " G-d damn it " . He knows it is wrong, he

> knows that pinching and hitting hurts. He does it to get a reaction. Every

> time he hits or pinches he says " does it hurt? " . If you say yes he is

> satisfied. If you say no, he will continue to hit or pinch different parts

> of you and harder till you answer yes it hurts.

>

> In camp he had to be transferred to another group because his best friend

> from kindergarten was in his group and he only wanted to be bext to him all

> the time. If another child was, when the counselor was not looking hit or

> pinch or push the others till they moved.

>

> He knows saying shut up is bad and he is supposed to say be quiet. Again he

> does it to get a reaction to to purposely be " bad " . Example " if he says shut

> up and we stop playing with him, he will then tell us be quiet so we can

> play again.

>

> Any suggestion on how to replace these behaviors with more appropriate ones

> on a consistent basis? Also are there any therapists who specialize in this

> type of thing in the South Broward area?

>

> Thanks for your help.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I thought ARC was for people 18 and up. Can our kids really get services through them?

Sara

From: mysonben2003 <myymail61-denise@ ymail.com>Subject: How to handle agression in 6yr oldTo: sList@ yahoogroups. comDate: Saturday, August 1, 2009, 1:47 PM

We need some suggestions on how to tackle the following challenge.Our son Ben is more or less a high functioning 6 yr old. He understands a lot and we believe is very smart. Although he does speak and understand very well given his condition, proper communication is a problem. Whenever he gets angry or wants to get us or anyone else angry he resorts to hitting or pinching. This has been a big problem in camp this past summer. He also like to say "shut up" or "G-d damn it". He knows it is wrong, he knows that pinching and hitting hurts. He does it to get a reaction. Every time he hits or pinches he says "does it hurt?". If you say yes he is satisfied. If you say no, he will continue to hit or pinch different parts of you and harder till you answer yes it hurts.In camp he had to be transferred to another group because his best friend from kindergarten was in his group and he only wanted to be bext to him all the time. If

another child was, when the counselor was not looking hit or pinch or push the others till they moved. He knows saying shut up is bad and he is supposed to say be quiet. Again he does it to get a reaction to to purposely be "bad". Example" if he says shut up and we stop playing with him, he will then tell us be quiet so we can play again. Any suggestion on how to replace these behaviors with more appropriate ones on a consistent basis? Also are there any therapists who specialize in this type of thing in the South Broward area?Thanks for your help.

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I agree

with Shirley in that he will only be motivated to make a change if he gains

something from the new replacement behavior. It seems like Ben is in tune

with his feelings, especially if he is looking for someone else to feel the

anger he is experiencing. His gain or want is that he wants to be

understood in the way he is feeling – wants somebody else to feel his frustration or anger. So

acknowledging how he is feeling and sharing that it is sad for you to see him

so angry could be very helpful. Also, give him an appropriate way to

express the feelings. With Ella, I tell her she can be angry but she has to

express it the right way. It is a rule that she can not hurt

others. I know Ben and from what I remember about him, I think he would

understand this concept even if he hasn’t followed through in the past. I give Ella an acceptable

behavior and allow her to express her anger to me. She squeezes her fists

tight and tells me that she is angry (I usually state this for her when I see

her tightening her fists and she agrees to the statement). I acknowledge

her firmly and positively for responding this way. It doesn’t mean I give in to her wants, but I do acknowledge and praise her

feelings and appropriate behavior. I also let her know

how I am feeling – it might be angry, frustrated or sad but whatever it is, I do let

her know that her behavior did have an effect on me. This has really been

helpful. Sure, there are still sometimes that she gets angry and reacts w/o

thinking but it is so much better than it used to be. It took some time

but it has become almost natural for her now to express her anger in this

manner. Unfortunately, the world around us does not know to respond to our

children unless they are informed and directed. So you might find the behaviors

much better at home than from away from home.

This has

been my case anyway. But working with the counselors/ teachers and having

them be consistent with what you do at home will be helpful. Children at

camp are a whole other issue. The best you can do there is educate them

as well. In our school, we had the guidance counselor discuss Ella’s disability with the class. Being that it was Elementary

school, they all became very nurturing of her and much more

understanding. Getting a child leader at camp to help this would be

great.

By the

Way, this (below – a statement

from your e-mail) is a great way to deal with the unwanted behaviors…waiting

for the behavior you want, then giving him what he is looking for. If everyone

around him can follow this then he will learn that he won’t get what he

wants with the behaviors (pinches) he is using now. But most people just

react to the unacceptable behaviors because it is just human nature. Consistency

& follow through!

" if he says shut up and we stop playing with him, he will then

tell us be quiet so we can play again.

Hope this

all makes sense. It is late and I really should be sleeping now…so tired. But, I wanted to respond while I had some down time

(otherwise, I might have never gotten to it). Hope it is helpful.

Feel free to call me if you want to discuss it further. I believe Sharon has my number but

if not, just contact me off line.

My Best,

Cohane, LCSW

creating connections and strengthening families by

providing

developmental-behavioral interventions and

psychotherapy services

Cohane@...

From: sList [mailto:sList ] On Behalf Of Shirly Gilad

Sent: Sunday, August 02, 2009

12:55 AM

To: sList

Subject: RE: How to

handle agression in 6yr old

This is where behavioral therapy should come into place. The

idea is to make it worth his while to use an alternative communication to get

what he wants. There are a few companies in Broward that provide behavioral

analysis services. Someone that is credible should do an assessment and come up

with a behavioral plan.

Shirly

From: sList

[mailto:sList ]

On Behalf Of mysonben2003

Sent: Saturday, August 01, 2009

4:47 PM

To: sList

Subject: How to

handle agression in 6yr old

We need

some suggestions on how to tackle the following challenge.

Our son Ben is more or less a high functioning 6 yr old. He understands a lot

and we believe is very smart. Although he does speak and understand very well

given his condition, proper communication is a problem.

Whenever he gets angry or wants to get us or anyone else angry he resorts to

hitting or pinching. This has been a big problem in camp this past summer. He

also like to say " shut up " or " G-d damn it " . He knows it is

wrong, he knows that pinching and hitting hurts. He does it to get a reaction.

Every time he hits or pinches he says " does it hurt? " . If you say yes

he is satisfied. If you say no, he will continue to hit or pinch different

parts of you and harder till you answer yes it hurts.

In camp he had to be transferred to another group because his best friend from

kindergarten was in his group and he only wanted to be bext to him all the

time. If another child was, when the counselor was not looking hit or pinch or

push the others till they moved.

He knows saying shut up is bad and he is supposed to say be quiet. Again he

does it to get a reaction to to purposely be " bad " . Example " if

he says shut up and we stop playing with him, he will then tell us be quiet so

we can play again.

Any suggestion on how to replace these behaviors with more appropriate ones on

a consistent basis? Also are there any therapists who specialize in this type

of thing in the South Broward area?

Thanks for your help.

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[Guest guest]

ARC is for whole population. My students who are asperger and high functioning autistics are 14, and they attend programs in ARC.

From: mysonben2003 <myymail61-denise@ ymail.com>Subject: How to handle agression in 6yr oldTo: sList@ yahoogroups. comDate: Saturday, August 1, 2009, 1:47 PM

We need some suggestions on how to tackle the following challenge.Our son Ben is more or less a high functioning 6 yr old. He understands a lot and we believe is very smart. Although he does speak and understand very well given his condition, proper communication is a problem. Whenever he gets angry or wants to get us or anyone else angry he resorts to hitting or pinching. This has been a big problem in camp this past summer. He also like to say "shut up" or "G-d damn it". He knows it is wrong, he knows that pinching and hitting hurts. He does it to get a reaction. Every time he hits or pinches he says "does it hurt?". If you say yes he is satisfied. If you say no, he will continue to hit or pinch different parts of you and harder till you answer yes it hurts.In camp he had to be transferred to another group because his best friend from kindergarten was in his group and he only wanted to be bext to him all the time. If

another child was, when the counselor was not looking hit or pinch or push the others till they moved. He knows saying shut up is bad and he is supposed to say be quiet. Again he does it to get a reaction to to purposely be "bad". Example" if he says shut up and we stop playing with him, he will then tell us be quiet so we can play again. Any suggestion on how to replace these behaviors with more appropriate ones on a consistent basis? Also are there any therapists who specialize in this type of thing in the South Broward area?Thanks for your help.

[Guest guest]

No, ARC offers this service to toddlers, even.

They use a sliding scale and have different packages, per se.

>

>

> From: mysonben2003 <myymail61-denise@ ymail.com>

> Subject: How to handle agression in 6yr old

> To: sList@ yahoogroups. com

> Date: Saturday, August 1, 2009, 1:47 PM

>

>

>  

>

> We need some suggestions on how to tackle the following challenge.

>

> Our son Ben is more or less a high functioning 6 yr old. He understands a lot

and we believe is very smart. Although he does speak and understand very well

given his condition, proper communication is a problem.

>

> Whenever he gets angry or wants to get us or anyone else angry he resorts to

hitting or pinching. This has been a big problem in camp this past summer.. He

also like to say " shut up " or " G-d damn it " . He knows it is wrong, he knows that

pinching and hitting hurts. He does it to get a reaction. Every time he hits or

pinches he says " does it hurt? " . If you say yes he is satisfied. If you say no,

he will continue to hit or pinch different parts of you and harder till you

answer yes it hurts.

>

> In camp he had to be transferred to another group because his best friend from

kindergarten was in his group and he only wanted to be bext to him all the time.

If another child was, when the counselor was not looking hit or pinch or push

the others till they moved.

>

> He knows saying shut up is bad and he is supposed to say be quiet. Again he

does it to get a reaction to to purposely be " bad " . Example " if he says shut up

and we stop playing with him, he will then tell us be quiet so we can play

again.

>

> Any suggestion on how to replace these behaviors with more appropriate ones on

a consistent basis? Also are there any therapists who specialize in this type of

thing in the South Broward area?

>

> Thanks for your help.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Wow. I had no idea they had programs for my boys. I'll give them a call. Thanks:)

Sara

From: mysonben2003 <myymail61-denise@ ymail.com>Subject: How to handle agression in 6yr oldTo: sList@ yahoogroups. comDate: Saturday, August 1, 2009, 1:47 PM

We need some suggestions on how to tackle the following challenge.Our son Ben is more or less a high functioning 6 yr old. He understands a lot and we believe is very smart. Although he does speak and understand very well given his condition, proper communication is a problem. Whenever he gets angry or wants to get us or anyone else angry he resorts to hitting or pinching. This has been a big problem in camp this past summer. He also like to say "shut up" or "G-d damn it". He knows it is wrong, he knows that pinching and hitting hurts. He does it to get a reaction. Every time he hits or pinches he says "does it hurt?". If you say yes he is satisfied. If you say no, he will continue to hit or pinch different parts of you and harder till you answer yes it hurts.In camp he had to be transferred to another group because his best friend from kindergarten was in his group and he only wanted to be bext to him all the time. If

another child was, when the counselor was not looking hit or pinch or push the others till they moved. He knows saying shut up is bad and he is supposed to say be quiet. Again he does it to get a reaction to to purposely be "bad". Example" if he says shut up and we stop playing with him, he will then tell us be quiet so we can play again. Any suggestion on how to replace these behaviors with more appropriate ones on a consistent basis? Also are there any therapists who specialize in this type of thing in the South Broward area?Thanks for your help.