RE: Potty Training

[Guest guest]

Hi Sue,

Yes, has autism. I guess that as she's gotten older, I've learned to

pick and choose my battles with her and by the same token, she's learned when

to dig her heels in and when to give in. I'll never give up on her, as I

would never give up on any child. I've just learned to grow up a little bit

myself. At 5 I wanted her to be " cured. " At 8, I just wanted her to learn

how to read and write. At 10, I blamed the teachers that she couldn't add

and subtract.

When turned 12, it was a really rough week for me. I still can't

understand why, but I became very quiet (highly unusual for an Irish girl

from Brooklyn, NY). I came out of it with a new way of looking at life with

. Will she be " cured " ? No probably not. Will she be reading best

sellers? No but she'll be able to read and write a simple grocery list, and

she can sight read the menu at Mcs. Will she be able to look at a

clock and tell time? Again, probably not so this Christmas I finally broke

down and bought her a digital watch which is her favorite gift this year, as

she is now telling us the time " CONSTANTLY " and is quite proud of her

accomplishment. The one thing that will have is a happy life, filled

with family that adores her and works with her so that she may reach her full

potential. Instead of kicking myself for the things that aren't the way I

had hoped for them to be, I'm beginning to enjoy the things that we can do.

It took a long, long time to get myself to this point, and it's only because

I met another Mom with a twenty-eight year old son with autism that I was

willing to look at the " whole picture " rather than the horrible portrait that

I had painted for myself all those years.

We ran away this summer to rural upstate NY, bought a 4 bedroom home with a

couple of acres of land and finally, finally, we are happy. I don't spend

every weekend with my family asking what the future holds anymore, as we're

too far away to visit all the time and long distance isn't cheap. We still

have our bad days (sometimes even weeks) but we survive intact because we now

know after 12 years that most of these things pass in good time. Her latest

stint is hair pulling, so far, she's pulled out 30% of her hair. She looks

horrible, I even have hair in my Christmas tree, but hey, this too shall

pass. At some point, I'm sure I'll stumble across something that will get

her off this latest jaunt.

Maureen

[Guest guest]

Hi Maureen!

I'm glad to read this. My 9 year old still doesn't wake up at night to use

the bathroom, and until now, I hadn't heard of any others. My son's were 7

and 8 before they were dry daytime, and we're still in Goodnites for the

younger one (he's the one who's 9) at night.

Is your daughter also autistic? If so, it's nice to have someone else with

a middle schooler here. There aren't too many of us.

By the way, my dad calls his 'Bumpkin'!

Sue

[Guest guest]

> I'm glad to read this. My 9 year old still doesn't wake up at

> night to use

> the bathroom, and until now, I hadn't heard of any others. My

Sue,

My husband and his brother were both in their teens (16 & 14, I think)

before they stopped wetting the bed. Neither of them are disabled.

-Sara.

[Guest guest]

> that it was just fine with me if she wore a pull-up for the next

> 16 years,

> the pressure was off. Did I want her in a pull-up? Absolutely not, but,

> like autism, I was willing to accept what she could and couldn't

> do and work

> with that.

That is SUCH a great attitude. Thank you for sharing!

-Sara.

[Guest guest]

>>>>>>>>>>

I think that the biggest problem for me was the fact that everyone tried to

make me feel " guilty " for not having her toilet trained. The school even

went so far as to send home weekly reminders that she was the only student

with a toilet trainer in her class. Once I stood my ground and told

everyone

that it was just fine with me if she wore a pull-up for the next 16 years,

the pressure was off. Did I want her in a pull-up? Absolutely not, but,

like autism, I was willing to accept what she could and couldn't do and work

with that.

Maureen

<<<<<<<<<<<

Kudos to YOU Maureen!!!

Penny :-D

[Guest guest]

I can't even get Liesel to wear pants, let alone sit her on the potty

she is 4.7 years now. Oh the screams and the tantrums are awful

*total meltdown*

Of course I would love her to use it like younger sister Freyja, but

I have no hang ups, she will do it in her own time, I couldn't force

it anyway!

(we live in hope)

Louisa

[Guest guest]

Sara,

I know my brothers son had night time problems, turned out he too is

aspergers! I'm not overly concerned about this with , just tired of

the expense. He is rarely dry overnight and we just had to go up a size in

Goodnites because he was soaking through very often.

Sue

[Guest guest]

My oldest who has no disabilitites or anything else didn't stop wetting the

bed until he was 10.

In a message dated 12/30/2002 11:54:55 AM Eastern Standard Time,

thebyks@... writes:

> My 9 year old still doesn't wake up at

> > night to use

> > the bathroom, and until now, I hadn't heard of any others

[Guest guest]

WTG , that is one big step.

It took until 3 or 4 months ago to get trained. is 10.

Lori

-- Potty Training

My daughter (now age 12) was not fully daytime trained until she was almost

8. Looking back, I can see that most of the fault can be laid directly at my

feet. Instead of following my heart, I listened to everyone else, such as my

husband, in-laws, my parents, friends and the so called " professionals " that

told me that it would be oh so much better if she were toilet trained. I

tried everything humanly possible, even meds to get her trained. Finally, I

blew up at everyone and told them all to mind their own business and

promised

them all that she would be out of pull-ups before her 21st birthday. Then, I

just crossed my fingers.

After almost a year of doing nothing whatsoever, and as happy as a

lark, I grabbed her favorite toy and threw it into the bathroom, telling her

that it could only be played with if she were sitting on the toilet. I still

kept her in pull-ups, never saying a word when they were completely soaked.

After about a week, she trained herself to use the toilet during the day.

Sometime a few months later, Elmo came out of the bathroom and after a good

washing, went back into her toy box.

I left her alone with the nighttime wetting as well, putting on the pull-up

right before bed, and limiting the water after 7PM. She did not begin

getting up at night to use the toilet until this summer, when she turned 12.

And, regardless of what time during the night she gets up, she takes off the

pull-up while she's using the bathroom and throws it in the trash, and still

wakes up dry 99% of the time. She will not go to bed without the pull-up,

and for now, that's fine with me. I might be wasting $13 every two weeks on

pull-ups that are thrown out in fine condition, but $13 is a small price to

pay for my sanity.

I think that the biggest problem for me was the fact that everyone tried to

make me feel " guilty " for not having her toilet trained. The school even

went so far as to send home weekly reminders that she was the only student

with a toilet trainer in her class. Once I stood my ground and told everyone

that it was just fine with me if she wore a pull-up for the next 16 years,

the pressure was off. Did I want her in a pull-up? Absolutely not, but,

like autism, I was willing to accept what she could and couldn't do and work

with that.

Maureen