Love/Hate Relationship with the Scale

[Guest guest]

Good Afternoon,

As many of you know I am in an IE valley this and needed to start from scratch

again. I am a recovering anorexic, over exerciser and emotional overeater and

have always been addicted to my scale. Even during my IE peaks, I have never

completely ditched my scale. Maybe this is why I am still having issues? On my

quest to really get back on the IE track, I have decided to go crazy hard core

and asked my husband to hide my scale. I also asked him along with my close

friends to support me in this, because they know how addicted I am to weighing

myself. I haven't weighed myself for 23 days and I had a mini-meltdown last

night.

I felt huge and fat and just got my period so I wanted to get on the scale so I

could prove that this not weighing myself is making me fatter. My hubby wouldn't

tell me where he had hid the scale and told me that my body is looking fabulous

(he doesn't like when I am stick thin and actually likes a little more meat on

my bones, which also freaked me out as well). I pleaded and pleaded and he stood

up to me and didn't let me have my way. It was too late for me to drive to the

gym, and my neighbors would think I was a freak if I knocked on their door to

weigh myself...so I had to sit with all of my feelings. I then immediately

wanted to go raid the kitchen so I could eat my way into a food coma or do a

million sit-ups, jumping jacks or pushups but I didn't. I spent the rest of the

evening very restless and unsettled and just wanted the scale, exercise or food

to take the edge off. I didn't do any of it. It was very hard to just sit with

all my feelings but I did it and feel fabulous this morning!!!

I didn't come to any major conclusions that I don't already know about

myself...Nothing changed but I woke up this morning feeling so much better,

because I did have to do any " masking behaviors " to get through the unsettled

feelings.

What is your relationship like with the scale????

IE since 2000