Re: Newbie with question...

[Guest guest]

Nicky

Sounds like you're off to a great start!!

I have problems following IE principles around certain people for the opposite

reason--they are worried about my weight and I can feel them monitoring my food

and wanting/making comments about what I should/should not have. I'm a people

pleaser and find it very difficult to deal with this issue.

If you're not comfortable about talking about IE with this person, I'd continue

as you have been. remeber progress, not perfection. It takes time to change

patterns in relationships. It sounds like you are making a good start in

changing your patterns.

I notice that you said that your friendship revolves around having an excuse for

eating junk food. Do you have other common interests with this friend? Would you

like to focus on them when you see this person? If there aren't other

connections this may/may not be a relationship that continues or is as close as

it has been in the past.

Just some things to think about. Hope it helps.

>

> Hi all, I'm Nicky and I'm new to the group! I've been doing IE for about 2

weeks now and although it's been a challenge I have been enjoying some successes

- the legalization of foods has been a revelation to me! This morning I really

felt like eating a pain au chocolat, which I never would have allowed myself

before. But I went to the shop and bought one, and when I ate it (slowly, making

sure to savour it), it was just the most delicious thing in the world! And I

felt like I've come so far already, as I didn't feel guilty and beat myself up

over it, or try to compensate by restricting etc.

>

> The question I have is, do you find it much harder to do IE when you're with

certain people? I went out for the day with my friend who seems to eat

constantly (he's naturally very skinny with super fast metabolism and cannot

gain weight if he tries.) Anyway our relationship has always been based around

food, and to be honest I have always used my time with him as an excuse to binge

on forbidden foods. Like we will go to the shop and buy a huge selection of junk

food and just sit and work our way through it all evening. Or if we are out for

the day, we will keep going for coffees, snacks, Mcs, etc, and eating

sweets inbetween.

>

> So when we went out today it was so hard to say to him 'No I'm not hungry'

whenever he suggested eating. It's like he expects me to always eat the same

amount as him, and it made me hugely anxious. I didn't binge, and I tried to

tune in to my satiety signals, but I sure ended up eating way more than I would

have if I'd been on my own. I don't want it always to be like that, so does

anyone please have any ideas on how to deal with these kind of situations? I

don't feel comfortable talking to him about IE as it would involve telling him

about my issues with food which I really don't want to do.

>

> Thanks, (and apologies for long rambling post!)

>

> Nicky

>

[Guest guest]

Hi

Thanks for your thoughtful reply and words of encouragement

I'm glad you mentioned progress not perfection, as I'm a terrible perfectionist!

Very all-or-nothing in my thinking/behaviour. So I really need to work on being

kind to myself and not beating myself up for not doing IE 'right' 100% of the

time (it's that old diet mentality again!)

I think I will keep on seeing my friend (he is a good one!) and just try to

focus on non-food-related activities, or if food situations are unavoidable, do

my best to honour my hunger. And be forgiving of myself if I do happen to eat

more than usual.

Thanks again

Nicky