Guest guest Posted May 27, 2009 Report Share Posted May 27, 2009 That is a great answer.Subject: bashing probTo: "IESupport Group" <intuitiveeating_support >Date: Wednesday, May 27, 2009, 9:29 AM Regarding body-bashers- -- Someone close to me is a body-basher, too. In fact, she has a habit of giving updates on everyone in the family--how they've "let themselves go" and have gotten really heavy, that "they'd be really prettier without all that weight", etc. In recent years, after trying various strategies, I've accepted the fact that I ~can't~ change her attitude or prevent her from making hurtful comments, but I ~can~ change the subject and often do. Maybe that's not the best way to handle it, but it works for me, because every other strategy I tried didn't accomplish a thing, raised an awkward barrier of hurt feelings between us, and left me feeling drained and wanting to eat everything in sight. Surprisingly enough, she doesn't say too much about people in my presence now. I suggest you rave about the wonderful food you serve and eat at meals--how delicious and nutritious it is, so that she sees how relaxed you are now that you're no longer a slave to a diet. Serve beautiful desserts! If she makes a comment about someone, say, "I'm sure they're doing the best they can," and then change the subject--e.g. ask about her plans for the summer or something. I hope you enjoy their visit. Let us know how it goes. Gracie IE-ing since 4/2/09 > To: IntuitiveEating_ Support@yahoogro ups.com> From: jennanimus7 (DOT) com> Date: Wed, 27 May 2009 13:27:52 +0000> Subject: [intuitiveEating_ Support] Body bashers!> > OK, so my in-laws are coming to visit in a couple of weeks. My mother-in-law has a very unpleasant habit of saying nasty things about people's bodies (pointing out who's gained weight & other derogatory comments about people being fat). I know she does this because she has some major insecurities. I really want to be secure enough in myself to not let her words or nonverbal judgments affect me--BUT I find it really hard to do that! We have a pool at our home, and I've all but convinced myself that I won't get in it while she's here. (Yes, I know how ridiculous that sounds). They are staying in our home with us for 2 weeks, which is a big adjustment for me. I want to stay grounded in IE during this time, as i know my tendency will be to restrict and eat as little as possible around her. I guess she just reminds me too much of my dad who was quite outspoken about what I ate and weighed. And she's pretty controlling like he was too. I need a game plan for dealing with this--or maybe i can just hop on a plane to anywhere elseville ;-)> > > > ------------ --------- --------- ------> > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 29, 2009 Report Share Posted May 29, 2009 GREAT way to make your point Thea!! That would take a big change in myself to NOT respond. But the results would be so worth it. Thanks for sharing this :) Katcha IEing since March 2007 > > > > If she makes a comment about someone, say, " I'm sure they're doing the best they can, " and then change the subject--e.g. ask about her plans for the summer or something. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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