Re: Annual Letter from an old friend

[Guest guest]

Yes, I think I'd try to be as tactful as possible though. People really

don't like hearing this.

Sissi

[Guest guest]

Ugh Tuna! Tough spot to be in, but I would maybe mention what you said about

being the same way. HUGS to you

ellen

Annual Letter from an old friend

Speaking of annual letters, I recieved one from an old

friend recently. She has a 5 yo boy and 2 yo twins.

This is her description of one of her twins:

" Bruce is very differnt from the other 2. He's off in

his own little world. We have even had his hearing

checked because he can tune out the others so well. As

they have screaming chasing fun, Bruce will be in his

own little corner colouring or reading a book to

himself. His languge is no where near as clear as

Kellie's. Bruce is also a runner. He takes off

without looking behind him and just runs. "

So what do you think? The first time I read this all

kinds of warning bells went off. It just reminded me

so much of at 2. Should I say something? Am I

reading too much into this?

Help.

Tuna

=====

Youth fades; love droops, the leaves of friendship fall; A mother's secret

hope outlives them all. "

- Oliver Wendell Holmes (1809-1894)

______________________________________________________________________

Post your free ad now! http://personals.yahoo.ca

[Guest guest]

> Should I say something? <

yes

> Am I reading too much into this? <

no

is this someone you're still in contact with? still friendly enough to talk

about it? does she know about andrew?

i think, if i were you, i'd give her a call and thank her for the letter and

tell her you couldn't help but be a bit concerned about it. she obviously

already knows something isn't quite right or she wouldn't have said that stuff.

maybe she just needs a word to go along with it. maybe she just needs someone

who's been through it to say, " you know what, you're not crazy " .

if she's ready to hear it, she'll be glad you made the call. if she's not ready

to hear it, at least you will give her something to think about and a friend to

talk to when she needs it. good luck

" Something important to remember...we'll always be who we are. " - Mr.

[Guest guest]

Tuna:

Say something. Think of all the people you are mad at who only after

's diagnosis said something like, " Yeah, I noticed he never

looked at me or whatever. "

I open my big mouth all the time.

Say something.

Salli

[Guest guest]

> if she's ready to hear it, she'll be glad you made the call. if

> she's not ready to hear it, at least you will give her something

> to think about and a friend to talk to when she needs it. good luck

Yes. Exactly.

lost words and I went to the ped about it. He said there was

nothing wrong. I told my friend he was fine. She told me losing words is a

big red flag and should always be checked out. I pretty much told her to

**** off, my doctor said he is FINE and he is FINE! thankyouverymuch.

I hung up with her and suddenly thought, " Since when do I trust doctors so

much? "

I called EI very soon after that. I would not have, if she had not said

that, even though it angered me greatly at the time. Salli helped me

tremendously but that conversation was really the trigger for me.

-Sara.

[Guest guest]

Maybe you could tell her about the similarities between her child and yours

at that age? Then see if she wants to talk more about it?

Sue

[Guest guest]

So what do you think? The first time I read this all

kinds of warning bells went off. It just reminded me

so much of at 2. Should I say something? Am I

reading too much into this?

Help.

I would definitely say something. Is she aware of 's dx? If so you could

say Your description of Bruce really reminds me a lot of before he was dx

with Autism. Have you brought your concerns up to your family doctor?. Or you

could send her an autism checklist under the guise of a new year " resolution " to

educate everyone you can about autism Just a couple suggestions.

CHRIS

Tuna

=====

Youth fades; love droops, the leaves of friendship fall; A mother's secret

hope outlives them all. "

- Oliver Wendell Holmes (1809-1894)

______________________________________________________________________

Post your free ad now! http://personals.yahoo.ca

[Guest guest]

I wish I had gotten help SOONER for Seth (now 3 and 4 months old). I Mean at 2 I

was very concerned about his lack of speech when at 9 months, he said words!!

And then he never cried, etc...very often if at all. Anyway, the ped shrugged it

off as " some boys don't talk until 3, yada yada " ..and i just KNEW something in

my heart. so I was quite upset and all my family and friends (who are VERY

supportive and understanding now..not trying to deny it thankfully!!) would say

the same things, etc.. His stimming back then (flapping adn getting excited) was

cute.! After so long of it NOT stopping (thus not a phase), I FELT like it

wasn't cute anymore. At 2 1/2, I took him in and demanded a Child Development

Appt, got it, and the rest is history. MAMA'S KNOW!! IT helped that i

researched so much about it for my oldest son who has ADHD and BORDERLINE

Asperger's...so I knew, and I just told them! My son has autism, and I know it!

haa haa..it wasn't funny then b/c I still bawled when you get the OFFICIAL

diagnosis, but still, I knew.

So I " d mention something as well, especially IF you are good friends with her!

[Guest guest]

> So what do you think? The first time I read this all

> kinds of warning bells went off. It just reminded me

> so much of at 2. Should I say something? Am I

> reading too much into this?

I think she is concerned; her wording is not just someone explaining her one

child's quirks.

I would contact her and say something like: In your holiday letter, I saw

that you have some concerns about Bruce. I just wanted to let you know that

at 2 years we had some of the same concerns for . I've put together a

little list of internet site you can visit to do some reading on some of

Bruce's behaviours. Maybe they can hep you discover or rule out some

things.

That way, you've done what you can and not been an autism crusader - you've

given her a direction to look, and the freedom to read and judge for herself

without feeling threatened by the 'a' word immediately.

That's all you can do - give her access to the information and let her

decide for herself how to proceed.

JMHO

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

We all have our " awakening " moments I guess. I remember when I finally

had an appointment to have Jake evaluated, assuming he just needed a

hearing test or maybe some speech therapy or something. A friend of

mine said to me... " Well, whatever you find out, we are here for you and

will support you. And if you need to talk, then you know you can call

me at any time " I thought.. " What??? " Then my brother told me

" Whatever you find out after the evaluation, you know we will love Jake

just the same as we do now and it won't change anything about how we

feel about him... " I said " Thanks! I know that " but was thinking " What

in the hell is he talking about? " Then later, after I realized Autism

was a word I would soon know a whole lot more about, I thought back on

these comments and suddenly realized how different Jake must have

appeared to them compared to their own children and other children and

it was like this spotlight was now shining down on us and I could see

clearly or something. Weird. I do so much wish I had known it at 18

mos. or 2 yrs. instead of 3 yrs. plus 4 months....

~ Karin

> ________________________________________________________________________

>

>

> Message: 9 Date: Sat, 28 Dec 2002 22:53:47 -0500 From: " The Byks "

> Subject: RE: Annual Letter from an old

> friend

>

>

>> if she's ready to hear it, she'll be glad you made the call. if she's

>> not ready to hear it, at least you will give her something to

>> think about and a friend to talk to when she needs it. good luck

>>

>

> Yes. Exactly.

>

> lost words and I went to the ped about it. He said there was

nothing wrong. I told my friend he was fine. She told me losing words is a

> big red flag and should always be checked out. I pretty much told her to

> **** off, my doctor said he is FINE and he is FINE! thankyouverymuch.

>

> I hung up with her and suddenly thought, " Since when do I trust

doctors so

> much? "

>

> I called EI very soon after that. I would not have, if she had not said

> that, even though it angered me greatly at the time. Salli helped me

> tremendously but that conversation was really the trigger for me.

>

> -Sara.

> > nothing wrong. I told my friend he was fine. She told me losing

> words is a big red flag and should always be checked out. I

> pretty much told her to **** off, my doctor said he is FINE and he

> is FINE! thankyouverymuch.

>

> I hung up with her and suddenly thought, " Since when do I trust

> doctors so much? "

>

> I called EI very soon after that. I would not have, if she had not

> said that, even though it angered me greatly at the time. Salli

> helped me tremendously but that conversation was really the trigger

> for me.

>

> -Sara.

[Guest guest]

Oh My.

I wonder if you should talk to her and ask about the hearing test? Maybe

that would be a conversation opener???

boo.

Penny :/

Annual Letter from an old friend

Speaking of annual letters, I recieved one from an old

friend recently. She has a 5 yo boy and 2 yo twins.

This is her description of one of her twins:

[Guest guest]

>

> > So what do you think? The first time I read this all

> > kinds of warning bells went off. It just reminded me

> > so much of at 2. Should I say something? Am I

> > reading too much into this?

>

>

> I think she is concerned; her wording is not just someone

explaining her one

> child's quirks.

>

> I would contact her and say something like: In your holiday

letter, I saw

> that you have some concerns about Bruce. I just wanted to let you

know that

> at 2 years we had some of the same concerns for . I've put

together a

> little list of internet site you can visit to do some reading on

some of

> Bruce's behaviours. Maybe they can hep you discover or rule out

some

> things.

>

> That way, you've done what you can and not been an autism crusader -

you've

> given her a direction to look, and the freedom to read and judge

for herself

> without feeling threatened by the 'a' word immediately.

>

> That's all you can do - give her access to the information and let

her

> decide for herself how to proceed.

>

> JMHO

>

> Jacquie

I agree, Jacquies approach sounds great - gives her the direction in

which to look and eithe rule out, or find some help.

Kerri

[Guest guest]

I haven't read anyone's replys yet to this as I am two hundred plus

emails behind, but for me this would signal red flags and warning

bells. I would want to know where to ask and/or look for help if it

were me. You know your friend best, but yes, I would say something.