What would it take to comfortably release non-hunger eating......

[Guest guest]

I just had an epiphany this morning... I have been seeking books, counselors and

outside wisdom about how to let go of non-hunger eating...and this morning with

great peace it occurred to me that I had never sat down with myself and asked

" me " ....

" What would it take to comfortably release non-hunger eating? "

I believe the wisdom is inside of me, I just have not been 'honoring' or tapping

into it.

So my goal today is to sit down be present and journal the answer. {I'll let ya

know what I find out! }

I'd LOVE to hear any of your answers if it feels right/safe/comfortable/useful

to ask youself.

<<I am REALLY grateful for this place to process this 'food stuff'- you are SO

warm and Kind it feels so safe I really appreciate it!!>>

Josie

[Guest guest]

{Thea} I was really moved by your response. That fear, that urgency.. I have

known that in other areas. It is not so fun huh? If it feels useful and safe I

wonder if the question to sit with your " inner wisdom " about is:

" What would it take for me to feel safe experiencing hunger? "

I just want to encourage and remind you that no matter how much fear has arisen

from past dieting and deprivation our brains are beautifully (dare I say

miraculously) changeable. They have actually proven recently that we can

continuously change your brain. So hey... the fact that you created the change

of fearing hunger--- when before dieting you likely didn't...that very fact

PROVES that you my friend have the power to change your brain! So with the very

same 'process' of repetition you used with the dieting to create the fear you

can use with whatever feels right to you now to create a peace that is just as

fierce!

{Judi} LOVED what you wrote about trust. That is the same 'response' I found!

And what more beautiful way to foster our own trust than to give the lavish care

of intuitive eating!

We are on the right track ladies!!

[Guest guest]

My response:

I took a few minutes to clear the manic tent and dance floor measurements of the

vineyard (I'm a wedding coordinator) out of my head and get really calm and at

peace...then asked myself the question

" What would it take for me to comfortably release emotional eating? " and *BAM*

the word " TRUST " was there like a warm and faithful friend.

I journaled in a surprisingly delightful peace for a bit and there were five

things that sort of linked arms as the answer. Each one was needed for the next

to be able to come forth- to set the stage...

(1) Openness. An openness to things as they arise rather than running every

possibly scenario and devising a plan for each. This openness requires trust.

(2) Trust. To trust that I will be there to take care of myself and have what

it takes to take care of myself in each moment.

(3) Be in the present moment. The trust would come from me being, staying and

resting in the present moment. Learning to release the anxiety that comes when

I journey out to " pre-live " the future in my head (I mean if I predicted if

being fabulous that would be one thing!) Not comparing what is to what I want.

Just " being " in what is and feeling the inexplicable peace of this moment. For

the present moment to feel safe I would need to take on a mindset of acceptance

for what my present moment is.

(4) Acceptance. Ah that one just sounds like a wonderful long lost friend.

The kind of friend that you know when she comes over and you cradle your warm

mugs and talk -absolutely everything is right with the world. Acceptance is not

settling, it is a gentle kind curiosity for what is.

(5) Curiosity. Ah again curiosity feels like such a nice friend (when I

contrast her with the back stabbing task master that is judgment!!) To have

curiosity sort of closes the loop back to openness and trust--- I need to have

an openness to what is.. to really see what is there and not just what I'm

expecting. And a trust that even if what I find is not my 'ideal' that I will

feel save in warm acceptance.

It sounds like a recipe for hope and peace to me!!

[Guest guest]

Judi,

Could it be due to fear of failure? If you follow other's rules - then if that

doesn't work, you can say they were wrong. But if you follow your own

guidelines, if those don't work, OMG! 'I'm a failure!' which is much harder to

accept and live with? Yet the whole exercise begs this question -

If you follow your own INternal guides - HOW can you be failing?!? You are

saying in essence that YOU are a 'failure' and some how I just don't believe

that for one instant either.

ehugs, Katcha

> Yet I keep running to books and the wisdom of the group to find the " how

> to. " I'm so scared to trust myself, to ask the question you asked.

> It's so very much easier to find rules to follow, to force myself to follow,

> and to judge myself (wanting) in terms of the rules. Even rules that seem so

> beneficial ( " eat when hungry " etc.)

> It's as if I'm willing to force and struggle and judge from the outside in

> as a drama that makes a lot of noise so I can avoid coming from my own

> wisdom. I'm afraid to trust myself and find myself. Somehow to stop and look

> within and find the essential me lacking would be so much more devasting

> than to fail at following rules. I'm not sure why.

> j.

[Guest guest]

Thea-- I relate to this post very much especially being a recovering anorexic.

The feeling of hunger can put me in a bit of a panic.

Thanks for the validation...

> >

> > I just had an epiphany this morning... I have been seeking books, counselors

and outside wisdom about how to let go of non-hunger eating...and this morning

with great peace it occurred to me that I had never sat down with myself and

asked " me " ....

> >

> > " What would it take to comfortably release non-hunger eating? "

> >

> > I believe the wisdom is inside of me, I just have not been 'honoring' or

tapping into it.

> >

> > So my goal today is to sit down be present and journal the answer. {I'll

let ya know what I find out! }

> >

> > I'd LOVE to hear any of your answers if it feels

right/safe/comfortable/useful to ask youself.

> >

> > <<I am REALLY grateful for this place to process this 'food stuff'- you are

SO warm and Kind it feels so safe I really appreciate it!!>>

> > Josie

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Wow...what an amazing post. I'm printing it out!!

Thanks!!

Kim

IE since Aug08

Subject: Re: What would it take to comfortably release non-hunger eating......To: IntuitiveEating_Support Date: Friday, March 6, 2009, 10:04 AM

My response:I took a few minutes to clear the manic tent and dance floor measurements of the vineyard (I'm a wedding coordinator) out of my head and get really calm and at peace...then asked myself the question "What would it take for me to comfortably release emotional eating?" and *BAM* the word "TRUST" was there like a warm and faithful friend.I journaled in a surprisingly delightful peace for a bit and there were five things that sort of linked arms as the answer. Each one was needed for the next to be able to come forth- to set the stage...(1) Openness. An openness to things as they arise rather than running every possibly scenario and devising a plan for each. This openness requires trust.(2) Trust. To trust that I will be there to take care of myself and have what it takes to take care of myself in each moment.(3) Be in the present moment. The trust would come from me being, staying and resting

in the present moment. Learning to release the anxiety that comes when I journey out to "pre-live" the future in my head (I mean if I predicted if being fabulous that would be one thing!) Not comparing what is to what I want. Just "being" in what is and feeling the inexplicable peace of this moment. For the present moment to feel safe I would need to take on a mindset of acceptance for what my present moment is.(4) Acceptance. Ah that one just sounds like a wonderful long lost friend. The kind of friend that you know when she comes over and you cradle your warm mugs and talk -absolutely everything is right with the world. Acceptance is not settling, it is a gentle kind curiosity for what is.(5) Curiosity. Ah again curiosity feels like such a nice friend (when I contrast her with the back stabbing task master that is judgment!!) To have curiosity sort of closes the loop back to openness and trust--- I need to have an openness to what is..

to really see what is there and not just what I'm expecting. And a trust that even if what I find is not my 'ideal' that I will feel save in warm acceptance.It sounds like a recipe for hope and peace to me!!

[Guest guest]

> " What would it take for me to comfortably release emotional eating? " \

I like the way this is phrased.

It takes being able to STOP. THINK. FEEL. If I can get to the point of asking

myself, " what am I feeling? " and really pinpoint what emotions are going on

inside of me, and then ask " do you really want something to eat? " the answer is

usually " NO " . The hard part is staying mindful. Once I go on auto pilot, it's

all over. I then just vege and eat mindlessly. Once I can get to the point of

figuring out what is going on emotionally, I can then take care of myself in the

way that I need and then comes the peace.

Alana

[Guest guest]

Oooh Alana, Really helpful insights!! Isnt' that funny what we do...it is like

" What am I feeling? Uh I guess anxiety. " Then this voice comes from

somewhere inside and says " Would you like fries with that? "

I love what you put at the end " I can then take care of myself in the way that I

need and then comes the peace. " So beautiful!

[Guest guest]

My first post/reply. I really appreciate this question and all the replies so

far. Thanks. I've been working on acceptance the past month or so and finding

some freedom in that. Although I don't think it had much impact on my eating

until the last week. Accepting the whatever the current emotion is, accepting

that I'm behind in my schedule at work, accepting that not every person is

satisfied with my answer to their question or need, accepting that I did not

make the choice that I hoped for.

If I can live with an accepting attitude, instead of a judging attitude, it

makes it easier (for me at least) to even consider what lies behind the

non-hunger eating, to not be afraid of what I will discover.

Thanks again for everyone's thoughts.

>

>

> " What would it take to comfortably release non-hunger eating? "

>

> I believe the wisdom is inside of me, I just have not been 'honoring' or

tapping into it.

>

[Guest guest]

HEY!!

Are you little voice inside my head? 'Cause that's what I do too!

>

> Oooh Alana, Really helpful insights!! Isnt' that funny what we do...it is

like " What am I feeling? Uh I guess anxiety. " Then this voice comes from

somewhere inside and says " Would you like fries with that? "

>

> I love what you put at the end " I can then take care of myself in the way that

I need and then comes the peace. " So beautiful!

>

[Guest guest]

Welcome!

I like the thought of accepting that not everyone will be satisfied with my

answers. That is something that I struggle with a lot at work - I'm in HR. I

feel like all I've done in the last six months is tell people things that they

don't like or want to hear. Since I'm always struggling with the need to be

liked - it's really hard to dissapoint people or make them angry.

Looks like we'll both be working on this one!

> >

> >

> > " What would it take to comfortably release non-hunger eating? "

> >

> > I believe the wisdom is inside of me, I just have not been 'honoring' or

tapping into it.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I am really working through this stuff with my son. He often times doesn't like

the answers I give him which is usually " no " . I had an epiphany this morning

thinking about this. I knew it was because I have a fear that he isn't going to

love me. But when I look back in my past, everytime I have stood up for myself

and what I need, told the person that I cared for or loved deeply something they

didn't want to hear, they walked. Yes, accepting that people (my son) may not

like my answers is huge and then feeling, really feeling that fear of not being

loved/liked or being abandoned.

The two phrases my parenting coach has told me to use with my son in response to

him reacting negatively to what I have told him is " I KNOW " and " NICE TRY " .

Don't know if these phrases will help when it isn't a child or not.

Alana

> I like the thought of accepting that not everyone will be satisfied with my

answers. That is something that I struggle with a lot at work - I'm in HR. I

feel like all I've done in the last six months is tell people things that they

don't like or want to hear. Since I'm always struggling with the need to be

liked - it's really hard to dissapoint people or make them angry.

>

> Looks like we'll both be working on this one!

>

>