update; perhaps I'll ramble...

[Guest guest]

To all (with special thanks to , Michele, Bonnie, Crystal, ,

Chantelle, Ellen, Kim, and anyone I've leaving out):

I cannot begin to express my thanks and relief at the openness with

which you shared your experiences with breaks or stopping your

medications cold turkey. In a post to 's house, I quoted some of what

you wrote (not by name), and your descriptions hit them hard. What you

shared, they had seen in , and that was extremely important.

phoned last night. We told her about and talked for over

2 1/2 hours (not just about K; she has her own grad school angst). She

was wild and demanded to know why the people who're now K's

caregivers are not her great advocates, etc. When I said (and I'm not a

mild person when upset) that I'd tell the staff that " I want " to be informed

about future med problems, E. just exploded that it couldn't be a request

but had to be an order. On and on as we wrestle with this mess.

That said, and I'll hit the mess again in a minute, the reports on

continue to improve. Last night, the staff saw " the first smile " in many

days and K. ate some; however, she continued to bite her hands

endlessly. Today, the report is much, much more like our Miss K. Andy

and I have been so tempted to just get in the car (as I know many of you

would have done), but one part of me HAD to see if these people could

take ownership, etc. --- I knew that we could get there quickly if necessary.

We spent the day looking at rental houses here and musing about what

we're going to do. Obviously, cannot stay in Fulton. Somehow that

makes me sad tonight because I think these folks are finally getting to

know the complexity of her. The only housemate we've found locally is still

the young woman with fairly severe autism (and masturbation that

apparently is endless --- my mother would tell you that I was raised by

Freudian psychiatrists and don't have a prudish bone {middle name:

Prudence; my parents were characters]).

I've talked with Pam about starting K. here in a house by herself, but

she's really a social being --- mainly with staff and anyone who vaguely

resembles her sister. We just don't know what to do. Here, she could

work at the zoo or the humane society. There, she has nothing except

people who truly seem to be beginning to " get " her.

I'm sorry for such a ramble, but I needed it. For the second night, Andy

has built a fire in our family room, and we'll sleep there just for the heck of

it. This morning I discovered our 75 lb+ Airedale in bed there with us. It

was really quite refreshing.

Pam, then we got up and ate sausages, eggs, and - oh, my - grits! To

the rest of you, grits ain't Pam's favorite food.

If you managed to wade your way through all of this, please send me

your thoughts of Fulton vs 's coming back here.

I'm heading back to the fire.

Martha

P.S: just because I need to tell someone, Airedale youngster, Lucy,

seems to be having her 2nd false pregnancy - chasing the cats and poor

Duncan from her " babies. " Life is... interesting.