Fw: Rules from the male side

[Guest guest]

Too funny! had to pass it on.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Finally, the guys' side of the story.

We always hear " the rules " from the female side. Now here are the

rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note... these are

all numbered " 1 " ON PURPOSE!

> > 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up,

> > put it down. We need it up; you need it down. You don't hear us

> > complaining about you leaving it down.

> >

> > 1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.

> > Let it be.

> >

> > 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that

> > way.

> >

> > 1. Crying is blackmail.

> >

> > 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do

> > not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

> >

> > 1. Yes, and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question

> >

> > 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.

> > That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

> >

> > 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

> >

> > 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact,

> > all comments become null and void after 7 days.

> >

> >

> > 1. If you won't dress like the 's Secret girls, don't expect us to

> > act like soap opera guys.

> >

> > 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

> >

> > 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways

> > makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

> >

> > 1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done

> > Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

> >

> > 1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during

> > commercials.

> >

> > 1. Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

> >

> > 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach,

> > for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no

idea

> > what mauve is.

> >

> > 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

> >

> > 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say " nothing, " we will act

> > like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the

> > hassle.

> >

> > 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you

> > don't want to hear.

> >

> > 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...

> > Really.

> >

> > 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to

> > discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

> >

> > 1. You have enough clothes.

> >

> > 1. You have too many shoes.

> >

> > 1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

> >

> >

> > Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch

> > tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that?? It's like camping.

> >

> > Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh. Pass this to as

> > many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh!!

[Guest guest]

I have to agree with you Sharon, Bonnie sends some gooduns!

Love Lana

" 'Be who you are and say what you feel because those

who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.' "

Dr. Suess

[Guest guest]

THANK you SO much Bonnie (You always post the FUNNIEST things) this

had me laughing I thought I was going to pop something out...

Sharon

>

> Too funny! had to pass it on.

> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>

> Finally, the guys' side of the story.

>

>

> We always hear " the rules " from the female side. Now here are the

> rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note... these

are all numbered " 1 " ON PURPOSE!

[Guest guest]

Re: Fw: Rules from the male side

THANK you SO much Bonnie (You always post the FUNNIEST things) this

had me laughing I thought I was going to pop something out...

Sharon

~~~~~~

Oh no! Don't you dare hurt yourself laughing!!!

Glad I could make your day. I like to pass on the jokes I get from others

that will lift everyone's spirits! <G>

Glad I did that for you!

Bonnie

[Guest guest]

>

> Re: Fw: Rules from the male side

>

>

> THANK you SO much Bonnie (You always post the FUNNIEST things) this

> had me laughing I thought I was going to pop something out...

> Sharon

>

Now wait one minute here!

I totally failed to see ANY humor in that original post. I found it

to be a wonderful collection of truth and wisdom.

[Guest guest]

Re: Re: Fw: Rules from the male side

I have to agree with you Sharon, Bonnie sends some gooduns!

~~~~~~

thanks Lana! Just trying to cheer people up! <G>