Guest guest Posted February 1, 2000 Report Share Posted February 1, 2000 , I understand about feeling guilty for not bfing one of your children. I still feel that way about not bfing my first. I was young and gave into pressure to bottlefeed. There is a special bond you feel with the ones you have nursed. I especially feel that way about my last two. My third I nursed for 2yrs and still occasionally and my fourth is still nursing at 16mos. If you need any help with the pattern I will be happy to try and help but it is extremely easy Once again my thoughts and prayers are with your family Kristna mom to 10 8 Zach 3 and Abby 16mos Strutz wrote: > > > I just wanted to thank everyone for the nice welcome, suggestions, and > links. I just bought the pattern for the sling and can't wait for it to get > here. > > Anyone else have kids they didn't breastfeed and feel guilty about it? While > I really couldn't help it with (due to the preemie thing), I still > feel bad that I didn't share this with my older two kids. I'm a little > shocked at how strong the bond is between and I. I feel especially > bad that I never got to share this feeling with ...and that I can't > share it now with my two year old boy, . He's really acting out due to > all the turmoil in the house, and I'm finding that I have no patience with > him right now...it would've been nice to be able to nurse him right now, it > might have helped. Poor kid, his sister dissapears to some place called a > " hospital " , mommy brings home a different sister who's tiny, can't play, > sucks on mommy's boobies all day, gets all mommy's attention..plus mommy > herself varies between crying, yelling, and being away at the hospital. > > > > --------------------------- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 1, 2000 Report Share Posted February 1, 2000 > >Anyone else have kids they didn't breastfeed and feel guilty about it? I only breastfed my 10 yr old dd for 2 weeks...I could make tons of excuses as to why, but the bottom lline to me is that i did not try hard enough. Yes you bet I feel guilty. However i can't let it make me nuts either. I have learned much and matured much since I first became a Mommy. For that I am grateful. and the rest of your family are in my prayers Louise Mommy to 12-87, 7-89, Connor 10-91, 4-93, 2-18-99, and wee little girl EDD 3-24-2000 Oh what a zoo ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 2, 2000 Report Share Posted February 2, 2000 Welcome , I am also a first-timer at breastfeeding even though Blake is my second baby. I gave up feeding my first son Dylan when he was 2 weeks old. I didn't realize that you have to learn to bf. I thought that it was something that came automatically. Being a first time mum I didn't like to admit that I hadn't a clue what I was doing so when my nipples started to get sore and bleed I stopped. I felt guilty before I even stopped just thinking about bottlefeeding. Noone told me that I could go back to bf either I thought that once they had a bottle then that was it so we stopped cold turkey. In Australia most people and health care workers are probf and I felt like a failure. Most of the people I know with babies bf its the norm. Sometimes when Dylan was really little and we were out shopping I would be embarrassed to feed him his bottle. I could imagine everyone thinking that little babies should be nursing at a nice warm breast not a cold sterile teat. Anyway when I fell pregnant with Blake i was determined to bf. I read everything I could and asked lots of questions of my friends and of the midwives when he was born. He is still bf at nine months and doesn't even know what to do when you give him a bottle. I am a proud bf mum. Now when I go to the shops I am not embarrassed to feed my baby.I am sad that my eldest son missed out on that close relationship and I also feel closer at times with Blake but then I think Blake will never have me all to himself like Dylan did for three years until his brother came along. He always has to share his mummy being the second child so maybe bf is the one thing he doesn't have to share. Sorry this is so long but sometimes you need to get things off your chest so to speak. My thoughts are with you and your family. I have no idea how I would feel if anything was to happen to my boys. I hope things are better soon Narelle mum to Dylan and Blake Thanks for the welcome I just wanted to thank everyone for the nice welcome, suggestions, and links. I just bought the pattern for the sling and can't wait for it to get here. Anyone else have kids they didn't breastfeed and feel guilty about it? While I really couldn't help it with (due to the preemie thing), I still feel bad that I didn't share this with my older two kids. I'm a little shocked at how strong the bond is between and I. I feel especially bad that I never got to share this feeling with ...and that I can't share it now with my two year old boy, . He's really acting out due to all the turmoil in the house, and I'm finding that I have no patience with him right now...it would've been nice to be able to nurse him right now, it might have helped. Poor kid, his sister dissapears to some place called a " hospital " , mommy brings home a different sister who's tiny, can't play, sucks on mommy's boobies all day, gets all mommy's attention..plus mommy herself varies between crying, yelling, and being away at the hospital. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Please click above to support our sponsor ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Give the Gift of Life Breastfeed! http://www.lactivist.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 2, 2000 Report Share Posted February 2, 2000 Well, I didn't bf my oldest because of lack of knowledge and help at the time of his birth, I did feel guilty at first and for about 2 years afterwards. But I've since come to terms with it, I did the best I knew how at the time and that's all I could really expect of myself. No use feeling guilty over it at this point. Arran is a very healthy kid, never sick as a baby and he thrived on formula, the only thing I think of sometimes is that he has missed out on the long term benefits of bfing, but again, there is no point feeling guilty about it. I used that experience to educate myself and by the time my 2nd was born I was a lot more prepared to bf and I had a support system in place, she is still nursing now at 2 years and I'm really glad it worked out this way. I don't think I'm any closer to Keely than Arran, the bond is just as strong for me, maybe because he's my first born and will always be special that way. Maybe also because the guilt is no longer there. Michele, mom of Arran 12-27-93 & Keely 12-5-97 #3 EDD 3-13-00 It's a Boy! ICQ# 13092478 Our Family Pages ~ http://www.telusplanet.net/public/jcrocker/index.html Join AllAdvantage.com and get paid to surf the Web! Please use my ID (GJX196) when asked if someone referred you. Thanks! http://www.alladvantage.com/go.asp?refid=GJX196 I just wanted to thank everyone for the nice welcome, suggestions, and links. I just bought the pattern for the sling and can't wait for it to get here. Anyone else have kids they didn't breastfeed and feel guilty about it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 2, 2000 Report Share Posted February 2, 2000 , I feel badly that my bfdg relationship never worked out with my first son (the one who was in NICU). I, too, feel that with my second son we have that bond that only this relationship could make and wish things were different. I know that we all do what we think is best at the time things are happening though. It says a lot to know that you understand what your son must be going through right now. I work with children whose brothers and/or sisters are hospitalized and it can really be hard on them...as you mentioned. You are doing your very best in this time where your head must just spin often. I am glad you found a sling pattern. How exciting! I found mine to be a real help. I know that you are being as patient as you can be with your son. He may need extra cuddles from you if possible, but maybe you could have another family member pay special attention to him too? You have a lot of insight to even be able to see his needs right now I think. What a super mommy you are:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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