Guest guest Posted March 7, 2000 Report Share Posted March 7, 2000 Octavia, Welcome to the list. Glad to have you here. I am wondering why you are considering weaning. The World Health Organization recommends nursing for at least 2 1/2 years for optimal health. Maybe if you are feeeling frustrated or such some of us could give you ideas to cope, otherwise if you let us know a little more of your situation we could help. I am the list owner and nursing my 28 month old son. I also have an 8 yo daughter. Welcome to the list. Wendi http://www.lactivist.com breastfeeding info & resources Weaning From: weezboocool@... Hello my name is Octavia and I am a mother of 3 children. Two stepchildren and I am currently breastfeeding my 19 month old daughter. I would like some suggestions on how to wean her off the breast. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ DON'T HATE YOUR RATE! Get a NextCard Visa, in 30 seconds! Get rates as low as 0.0% Intro or 9.9% Fixed APR and no hidden fees. Apply NOW! http://click./1/2120/0/_/410002/_/952490150/ ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Give the Gift of Life Breastfeed! http://www.lactivist.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 8, 2000 Report Share Posted March 8, 2000 I don't know really where to begin. I'm young and I'm just stressed out. I'm 21 married, I have two stepchildren. My 19 month old is so attached to me. I feel like I can't do anything. I wonder is this because of the breastfeeding. I''ve never given her a bottle or pacifier. Just milk till I introduced solids and now she does both. Since she has been born my husband and I haven't gone out no where. Usually we take her. We haven't had time on one. She doesn't want to go to nobody. A lot of times I can't even get up to go to the bathroom without her thinking I'm leaving her and she starts crying. Plus I don't have anyone to talk to person to person about breastfeeding. Anyone who has didn't breastfeed this long. My family says, " you're still breastfeeding?? Like it's a bad thing to do it this long and it makes me feel bad. guess if there was just a way to get her from being so attached to me so I could go out and have some time to myself I could continue. I hope this helps you out some . Please give me some suggestions. Thanks. Octavia. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 8, 2000 Report Share Posted March 8, 2000 Welcome Octavia! I just introduced myself to so I won't repeat it here. I can't help on the weaning question, #1 never bf and #2 still is. Michele, mom of Arran 12-27-93 & Keely 12-5-97 #3 EDD 3-13-00 It's a Boy! ICQ# 13092478Our Family Pages ~ http://www.telusplanet.net/public/jcrocker/index.htmlJoin AllAdvantage.com and get paid to surf the Web! Please use my ID (GJX196) when asked if someone referred you. Thanks! http://www.alladvantage.com/go.asp?refid=GJX196 Earn a nickel an email ~ http://www.sendmoreinfo.com/id/533959 From: weezboocool@... Hello my name is Octavia and I am a mother of 3 children. Twostepchildren and I am currently breastfeeding my 19 month olddaughter. I would like some suggestions on how to wean her off thebreast. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 8, 2000 Report Share Posted March 8, 2000 Octavia, I think so many of us have been where you are. It is so stressful to not get a moment to yourself. I weaned my daughter at 13 months for the same reason, but it backfired. She was so much more needy and clingy after weaning. It broke a connection with us that I am still trying to restore and she is 8 yo. If you can go to my website and read about nursing a toddler you might feel better about what is going on. Also I think so many of us nursing toddlers can tell stories just like this. I try to think of my life as a whole, maybe 80years, with only three or four of them spent nursing it really isn't so overwhelming. Now having an 8yo that is growing into a lovely young lady, it goes by too fast. Check my website http://www.lactivist.com/issues.htm Then click on nursing a toddler. There are lots of links at the bottom. It will help you to understand exactly how important it is to keep nursing your toddler. If after reading and hearing some of our nursing toddler stories, you still want to wean, I will be happy to help you. Does she sleep in your bed? If so you might consider getting a twin sidecar, that might offer you a little more space. 18-22 months was a very clingy time for my son. Now I am planning to go away for two nights, I think it will go well. Getting some support from other women in your situation could really change your outlook as well. Do you have the book called Mothering Your Nursing Toddler by Baumgartner? It is well worth it. Wendi http://www.lactivist.com breastfeeding info & resources Re: Weaning From: weezboocool@... I don't know really where to begin. I'm young and I'm just stressed out. I'm 21 married, I have two stepchildren. My 19 month old is so attached to me. I feel like I can't do anything. I wonder is this because of the breastfeeding. I''ve never given her a bottle or pacifier. Just milk till I introduced solids and now she does both. Since she has been born my husband and I haven't gone out no where. Usually we take her. We haven't had time on one. She doesn't want to go to nobody. A lot of times I can't even get up to go to the bathroom without her thinking I'm leaving her and she starts crying. Plus I don't have anyone to talk to person to person about breastfeeding. Anyone who has didn't breastfeed this long. My family says, " you're still breastfeeding?? Like it's a bad thing to do it this long and it makes me feel bad. guess if there was just a way to get her from being so attached to me so I could go out and have some time to myself I could continue. I hope this helps you out some . Please give me some suggestions. Thanks. Octavia. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ GET A NEXTCARD VISA, in 30 seconds! Get rates as low as 0.0% Intro or 9.9% Fixed APR and no hidden fees. Apply NOW! http://click./1/937/0/_/410002/_/952536045/ ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Give the Gift of Life Breastfeed! http://www.lactivist.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 8, 2000 Report Share Posted March 8, 2000 Ahhh....My dd was just like that until she hit about 22 months. It wasn't until she was 22 months that she would go off with her dad alone, she would stay home with him if she didn't see me leave, but she wouldn't voluntarily leave me. If he was going shopping or over to his moms she would NOT leave me and she would not stay with a babysitter for us to go out. She is now 27 months and happily waves bye bye to me when she heads out with her dad and she'll stay with a babysitter if she knows them really well, like one of my friends or her older cousins. My dd would go all day without bfing from about 15 months on, maybe nurse to sleep for her nap so I don't think it was entirely the bfing. If you push her to wean before she's ready it may backfire and make her even more attached to you, that's just something to think about. It may have nothing to do with bfing, she just may not be ready emotionally to be away from you. Before dd was 22 months, I would sneak out of the house and leave her alone with her dad so I could go have a coffee with my girlfriend and that gave me a sanity break :-) She would usually be ok for an hour and her dad was great about distracting her. I started out going across the street to my girlfriends for a coffee or tea and if dh couldn't comfort her he could call and I would run home. As she got better about staying with her dad I would "go out" with my girlfriend for coffee or shopping for an hour or two. Maybe you could start helping her build a trusting relationship with someone other than you, someone she will eventually feel ok being left with. Do you have a person in mind who you would want to leave her with if you went out? Maybe you could try having this person over while you snuck out for a bit, make sure you are available though, if this person can't comfort her you will have to be close by to get home to her. Even a walk around the block will get you out of the house. As she gets used to you leaving you can try longer time periods until she is comfortable for a whole evening. If could take a few months though, you have to be patient with it. One thing I have noticed, Keely does really well if she is left with one of my friend's who has a child, it doesn't even have to be her age, she loves my girlfriends 9 y/o dd, they play together really well! I think it's great that you're still bfing, it must be very hard to be a step mom at such a young age. I got married at 20 but my dh didn't have any children. I also have no one in my family who bf, let alone this long, so I get all my support from friends. Michele, mom of Arran 12-27-93 & Keely 12-5-97 #3 EDD 3-13-00 It's a Boy! ICQ# 13092478Our Family Pages ~ http://www.telusplanet.net/public/jcrocker/index.htmlJoin AllAdvantage.com and get paid to surf the Web! Please use my ID (GJX196) when asked if someone referred you. Thanks! http://www.alladvantage.com/go.asp?refid=GJX196 Earn a nickel an email ~ http://www.sendmoreinfo.com/id/533959 From: weezboocool@... I don't know really where to begin. I'm young and I'm just stressed out. I'm 21 married, I have two stepchildren. My 19 month old is so attached to me. I feel like I can't do anything. I wonder is this because of the breastfeeding. I''ve never given her a bottle or pacifier. Just milk till I introduced solids and now she does both. Since she has been born my husband and I haven't gone out no where. Usually we take her. We haven't had time on one. She doesn't want to go to nobody. A lot of times I can't even get up to go to the bathroom without her thinking I'm leaving her and she starts crying. Plus I don't have anyone to talk to person to person about breastfeeding. Anyone who has didn't breastfeed this long. My family says,"you're still breastfeeding?? Like it's a bad thing to do it this long and it makes me feel bad. guess if there was just a way to get her from being so attached to me so I could go out and have some time to myself I could continue. I hope this helps you out some . Please give me some suggestions. Thanks. Octavia. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 8, 2000 Report Share Posted March 8, 2000 Octavia, I don't know if this will help but my (almost) 19month old has also been totally attached to me for about the last 3 weeks. I don't know if it has as much to do with the breastfeeding as maybe just a stage of development they go through. I know I've read that at different times a child will prefer one parent over another. It's very difficult, I know but I just keep hoping it's a stage he'll soon be out of and we'll be back to normal (or at least on to another stage!) As far as your families' reaction to your choice to continue to breastfeed, I know EXACTLY how you feel. My inlaws don't say anything but my mother (who didn't bf us) and my gmother (also didn't bf) both think it's 'ridiculous' and think he's 'just too old'. They say things like, " well, you wouldn't still be giving him a bottle if he were on formula, would you... " They totally do not understand and I just make it clear to them to 'butt out' and that it's my choice and I feel I'm an educated person and they know I only want to ever do what's best for my baby. So, hang in there. I know you'll get lots of support here but it would be nice for you to have someone to pal around with who also shared your views. I know I have several friends who are continuing to bf and it really does help. If you really are ready to wean (I sometimes feel like I am too) then that's ok, but let it be your decision and not your families. Also remember that your little one is only small and wanting you for a short time. I also have the days when I think it's just too much but I have to remind myself that all too soon the day will come when he'll be too 'grown up' for his mommy and wanting to be off and on his own--it usually makes me so sad that I just want to hold, nurse and cuddle him as much as I can! So take care, hang in there and I hope this has helped. Fawn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 8, 2000 Report Share Posted March 8, 2000 > called Mothering Your Nursing Toddler by Baumgartner? It is well worth it. > That book is no longer in print, I tried to get it a few months back :( Gazley Mom to (Oct 8, 1998) http://members.tripod.com/~MysticMom NEW, Second Time Around - Resale kids, maternity and nursing wear! http://www.secondtime.bizland.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 8, 2000 Report Share Posted March 8, 2000 I got it at my library though, so you may be able to find it there :-) Michele > called Mothering Your Nursing Toddler by Baumgartner? It is well worthit.> :DThat book is no longer in print, I tried to get it a few months back:( Gazley Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 8, 2000 Report Share Posted March 8, 2000 Octavia, I am so proud of your commitment to bfeeding your daughter! I can't help too much because my nursling is almost 3 months. However, I do wonder what would happen if you left her for a few hours. I know you said that that she cries, but can't she be distracted? You have come to the right place for advice because these ladies have tons of experience. If you would like someone to talk to, feel free to email me privately. Amy W. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 8, 2000 Report Share Posted March 8, 2000 , There is a new edition that was just recently released or is soon to be. Did you check the la leche league website? Wendi http://www.lactivist.com breastfeeding info & resources Re: Weaning > called Mothering Your Nursing Toddler by Baumgartner? It is well worth it. > That book is no longer in print, I tried to get it a few months back :( Gazley Mom to (Oct 8, 1998) http://members.tripod.com/~MysticMom NEW, Second Time Around - Resale kids, maternity and nursing wear! http://www.secondtime.bizland.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------ PERFORM CPR ON YOUR APR! Get a NextCard Visa, in 30 seconds! Get rates as low as 0.0% Intro or 9.9% Fixed APR and no hidden fees. Apply NOW! http://click./1/2121/0/_/410002/_/952565862/ ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Give the Gift of Life Breastfeed! http://www.lactivist.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 9, 2000 Report Share Posted March 9, 2000 Octavia, You are in a hard position since you have little support in extended nursing. You will find lots of support here whatever you choose to do. Sounds like your life is quite full. It is often difficult to find other's who nurse " older " children. Have you thought about attending La Leche League meetings in your area? That may help and give you some people who are doing what you are doing. She probably will not become any less " attached " to you once you wean her if she is not ready to wean...in fact she may become MORE attached. I, for one, don't think children being attached to their parent(s) is a bad thing, but it sure can be draining. If, however, you feel weaning her is the way you need to go, try replacing the nursing sessions SLOWLY with other things you do with her. Reading books, cuddling, singing, etc. are some ideas. Good luck and let us know how more we can help. ---NO BABY YET!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 10, 2000 Report Share Posted March 10, 2000 I tried that too They don't have it! I'm going to see if they have it at the next LLL meeting (I've only ever been to one but there is one coming up on Tuesday!!!) GazleyMom to (Oct 8, 1998)http://members.tripod.com/~MysticMomNEW, Second Time Around - Resale kids, maternity and nursing wear!http://www.secondtime.bizland.com I got it at my library though, so you may be able to find it there :-) Michele > called Mothering Your Nursing Toddler by Baumgartner? It is well worthit.> :DThat book is no longer in print, I tried to get it a few months back:( Gazley Give the Gift of Life Breastfeed!http://www.lactivist.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 10, 2000 Report Share Posted March 10, 2000 > There is a new edition that was just recently released or is soon to be. > Did you check the la leche league website? I just did! I'm defiantly going back to Chapters to get it! HURRAH!!! Gazley Mom to (Oct 8, 1998) http://members.tripod.com/~MysticMom NEW, Second Time Around - Resale kids, maternity and nursing wear! http://www.secondtime.bizland.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.