Re: Heart Broken in one day!

September 26, 2006

Get revenge by having your carved up, ugly body out live those jerks.

Visit their graves when you're older and lift your shirt to their

headstones. I wonder if these two restrict their comments on

appearances to adults or if they're this callous to children too,

they'd make wonderful parents (sarcasm). I hope to be down to your

weight next summer.

Mike in GR

>

> I joinded this group because I was so happy at what I had

> done to improve my life and make my family happy and in one day it

> all came crashing down by two total strangers. I'm sure this has

> happened to others and it is so damm wrong!

>

> Twice in one day I heard some of the most negative comments

I

> have ever heard on how I look after having Gastric by-pass surgery.

> These two people don't know me, never have meet me, will in all

> likely hood never will meet me but they judged me based solely on

> pictures that they saw of how my abdomen looks today. To say that

> these comments did not cut me deeper than any Doctors knife is an

> understatement! I know that after having five surgeries in the last

> eighteen months and countless tubes stuck in my chest and abdomen

> that they have left me with many ugly and permanent scars. Added to

> that is the fact that my body shape is not what would be considered

> normal, some places sunk in and some sticking out more that they

> should.

>

> Never mind that over the last eighteen months I have lost

> more than half of my original body weight, going from 450+ pounds

to

> now at 220/225 pounds and still dropping 1 to 3 pounds a month.

> Never mind that I have probably extended my own life by years now

> that my heart, lungs, etc. no longer have to maintain the extra

> weight. Never mind that today I can walk without shortness of

breath

> or chest pains. Never mind that I feel healthier and better than I

> have in at least twenty five years. All I heard were " you are

> looking like a High School science experiment gone horribly wrong "

> and " I would not touch or be seen in public with him! "

>

> I have spent my entire life being judged by people based

> solely on my looks. Because of this I have always had a very low

> self esteem, been very self consciences, and worried about people

> seeing and judging me. I had hoped that when I lost the weight

this

> would stop! I was very wrong, seems like people for the most part

> will always just look at the " wrapper " and not the " contents " .

>

> Just when I was feeling good about myself and pleased

> with " how I look " someone comes along and just wipes all of the

good

> feeling away. Life sucks!!!

>

September 26, 2006

Bill,

READ YOUR OWN LETTER , see the improvements you have made in your life. You

said it all in your post. To let two total strangers affect you in such a

way is to give them power. DO NOT give them any power. I would much rather have

body issues than mind issues. To be gorgeous and RUDE and mean spirited is

not for me. I will always have body flaws, but I can say that I am a wonderful

loving and considerate person. I am sure most would agree. Feel great about

all that you have accomplished and will in the future. NO POWER FOR THE RUDE

AND INCONSIDERATE!!!!!!! They are NOT happy people.

Congrats on your losses.

Debi H

September 26, 2006

Hi, I'm Sherry. I read your msg. and was floored. I wanted to

apologize on the behalf of those 2 people being ignorant. No-one

deserves to be treated that way, especially after the amount of

strength it takes to make a life changing choice. When it comes

right down to it, they are the ones that need help, because their

self-esteem is so low they feel the need to trash others just to feel

better about themselves and that's pathetic. I've not had surgery yet

but can't wait to get healthy. So, CONGRATS to you for being brave

enough to save your life. I don't know you, but I'm proud of you!

September 26, 2006

Bill, your message has moved me to not just read/lurk but to respond. I

understand your pain and heartbreak. Really, really, I do. But look at what

you said, Bill. All of your " never mind that I.. " huge personal accomplishments

that you have decided mean nothing because of the cutting words of -- you

described them -- two TOTAL STRANGERS. You have given all of your personal

power and self worth and self esteem over to STRANGERS. Why, Bill, do you value

THEIR opinion of YOU more than YOU value YOU? I dare say that if you continue

to do that you will never find the personal peace with yourself that you want.

There is the word " self " in self-worth and self-esteem, and I have come to learn

that that's exactly where it has to come from, from within one's self, not by

taking an opinion poll from the outside world as to whether or not we are worthy

enough or good enough or thin enough or pretty enough. Bill, you list a list of

HUGE personal accomplishments. HUGE!! On the other side of the ledger are some

words spoken by people you don't even KNOW. Why should what those two idiots

say CANCEL OUT your personal accomplishments? And that is what they are -

personal. No one else could do them but you. AND YOU DID THEM! Now, I

suggest, YOU need to give YOU the credit you deserve and YOU need to value YOU

and what YOU think of all you've done more than what anyone one else thinks or

says. If you let " them " out there in the world dictate how happy you should or

shouldn't be or feel, well, you'll never be enough of anything. Please, Bill,

focus on all of what you've done and accomplished and continue to work towards,

and really, what other people think of it is none of your business. Turn this

around to your advantage and become more determined to improve your health and

happiness in spite of boobs like that. Otherwise, Bill, they win. And we can't

have that now, can we!

Heart Broken in one day!

I joinded this group because I was so happy at what I had

done to improve my life and make my family happy and in one day it

all came crashing down by two total strangers. I'm sure this has

happened to others and it is so damm wrong!

Twice in one day I heard some of the most negative comments I

have ever heard on how I look after having Gastric by-pass surgery.

These two people don't know me, never have meet me, will in all

likely hood never will meet me but they judged me based solely on

pictures that they saw of how my abdomen looks today. To say that

these comments did not cut me deeper than any Doctors knife is an

understatement! I know that after having five surgeries in the last

eighteen months and countless tubes stuck in my chest and abdomen

that they have left me with many ugly and permanent scars. Added to

that is the fact that my body shape is not what would be considered

normal, some places sunk in and some sticking out more that they

should.

Never mind that over the last eighteen months I have lost

more than half of my original body weight, going from 450+ pounds to

now at 220/225 pounds and still dropping 1 to 3 pounds a month.

Never mind that I have probably extended my own life by years now

that my heart, lungs, etc. no longer have to maintain the extra

weight. Never mind that today I can walk without shortness of breath

or chest pains. Never mind that I feel healthier and better than I

have in at least twenty five years. All I heard were " you are

looking like a High School science experiment gone horribly wrong "

and " I would not touch or be seen in public with him! "

I have spent my entire life being judged by people based

solely on my looks. Because of this I have always had a very low

self esteem, been very self consciences, and worried about people

seeing and judging me. I had hoped that when I lost the weight this

would stop! I was very wrong, seems like people for the most part

will always just look at the " wrapper " and not the " contents " .

Just when I was feeling good about myself and pleased

with " how I look " someone comes along and just wipes all of the good

feeling away. Life sucks!!!

September 26, 2006

Bill,

Sweetheart don't let those people get you down. You

are a beautiful creation and have taken the needed

steps to make yourself healthy and whole again.

Maybe these people are just jealous. Maybe they see a

person who did something about the negative aspects of

their life and changed it. That may be making them

feel insecure about themselves in some way. Maybe

they lack the courage or the conviction to change

certain aspects of their life and are feeling jealous

of the wonderful you you have become.

For the person who said they would not touch or be

seen in public with someone who looked like you do,

comfort yourself with the fact that you would not be

seen or touched by someone so shallow in public

because you are better than that and deserve better

than that.

Try and have a better day today,

Sandy

--- " (Bill) "

wrote:

> I joinded this group because I was so happy at what

> I had

> done to improve my life and make my family happy and

> in one day it

> all came crashing down by two total strangers. I'm

> sure this has

> happened to others and it is so damm wrong!

>

> Twice in one day I heard some of the most

> negative comments I

> have ever heard on how I look after having Gastric

> by-pass surgery.

> These two people don't know me, never have meet me,

> will in all

> likely hood never will meet me but they judged me

> based solely on

> pictures that they saw of how my abdomen looks

> today. To say that

> these comments did not cut me deeper than any

> Doctors knife is an

> understatement! I know that after having five

> surgeries in the last

> eighteen months and countless tubes stuck in my

> chest and abdomen

> that they have left me with many ugly and permanent

> scars. Added to

> that is the fact that my body shape is not what

> would be considered

> normal, some places sunk in and some sticking out

> more that they

> should.

>

> Never mind that over the last eighteen months I

> have lost

> more than half of my original body weight, going

> from 450+ pounds to

> now at 220/225 pounds and still dropping 1 to 3

> pounds a month.

> Never mind that I have probably extended my own life

> by years now

> that my heart, lungs, etc. no longer have to

> maintain the extra

> weight. Never mind that today I can walk without

> shortness of breath

> or chest pains. Never mind that I feel healthier and

> better than I

> have in at least twenty five years. All I heard

> were " you are

> looking like a High School science experiment gone

> horribly wrong "

> and " I would not touch or be seen in public with

> him! "

>

> I have spent my entire life being judged by people

> based

> solely on my looks. Because of this I have always

> had a very low

> self esteem, been very self consciences, and worried

> about people

> seeing and judging me. I had hoped that when I lost

> the weight this

> would stop! I was very wrong, seems like people for

> the most part

> will always just look at the " wrapper " and not the

> " contents " .

>

> Just when I was feeling good about myself and

> pleased

> with " how I look " someone comes along and just wipes

> all of the good

> feeling away. Life sucks!!!

>

> We are a very active support group.

> If the email becomes overwhelming,

> please change your setting to NO EMAIL!

> Please contact Group Creator

> Robyn@...

>

September 26, 2006

Bill,

How did these idiots see your scars?

Anyway, you have to consider the source, cruel and

heartless people tend to be very lonely and have very

low self esteem. The only way these people can make

themselves feel better is at the cost of others. You

must continue to hold your head high, because your

example will empower other obese individuals to be

bold strong and healthy, regardless of what the small

cruel hearted people say. ly, I wear my little

scars as bagdes of courage! I had the courage to

fight the battle of obesity and poor health, and I am

winning!!!

So, in final, weight will come and weight will go, but

those ugly personality flaws usually stay forever.

All my best,

Debi

243/183/120

--- " (Bill) "

wrote:

> I joinded this group because I was so happy at what

> I had

> done to improve my life and make my family happy and

> in one day it

> all came crashing down by two total strangers. I'm

> sure this has

> happened to others and it is so damm wrong!

>

> Twice in one day I heard some of the most

> negative comments I

> have ever heard on how I look after having Gastric

> by-pass surgery.

> These two people don't know me, never have meet me,

> will in all

> likely hood never will meet me but they judged me

> based solely on

> pictures that they saw of how my abdomen looks

> today. To say that

> these comments did not cut me deeper than any

> Doctors knife is an

> understatement! I know that after having five

> surgeries in the last

> eighteen months and countless tubes stuck in my

> chest and abdomen

> that they have left me with many ugly and permanent

> scars. Added to

> that is the fact that my body shape is not what

> would be considered

> normal, some places sunk in and some sticking out

> more that they

> should.

>

> Never mind that over the last eighteen months I

> have lost

> more than half of my original body weight, going

> from 450+ pounds to

> now at 220/225 pounds and still dropping 1 to 3

> pounds a month.

> Never mind that I have probably extended my own life

> by years now

> that my heart, lungs, etc. no longer have to

> maintain the extra

> weight. Never mind that today I can walk without

> shortness of breath

> or chest pains. Never mind that I feel healthier and

> better than I

> have in at least twenty five years. All I heard

> were " you are

> looking like a High School science experiment gone

> horribly wrong "

> and " I would not touch or be seen in public with

> him! "

>

> I have spent my entire life being judged by people

> based

> solely on my looks. Because of this I have always

> had a very low

> self esteem, been very self consciences, and worried

> about people

> seeing and judging me. I had hoped that when I lost

> the weight this

> would stop! I was very wrong, seems like people for

> the most part

> will always just look at the " wrapper " and not the

> " contents " .

>

> Just when I was feeling good about myself and

> pleased

> with " how I look " someone comes along and just wipes

> all of the good

> feeling away. Life sucks!!!

>

__________________________________________________

September 26, 2006

Dear Bill~

I am sorry that this happened to you... but remember that these people are

only being judgemental because someone else has done the same to them.. and this

is what they were taught they need to do in order to feel good about themselves.

YOU are the better person Bill! You are the one who has feelings and empathy

for others... wanna know something??? Your post gives me hope that there are

still really great men out there... and NO im not talking about the losers who

made you feel so bad!

(((HUGGS))))

---------------------------------

Stay in the know. Pulse on the new Yahoo.com. Check it out.

September 26, 2006

Don't let anyone erase all the good you have done for yourself. The

fact that these people were ignorant enough to judge you solely on

your looks should let you know that their opinion isn't worth a shit.

You know how far you have come in the past eighteen months and you

should PROUD of your accomplishments and who you are.

I can understand completely: I lost 1/2 my body weight also. I was

left with a hernia on my side that look like I was pregnant. The day

before my hernia surgery a woman behind a register in an upscale dept.

store said the following " Oh my God. That is the biggest stomach I

have ever seen. When are you due? " Now, normally I tell them " any day

now " : but, this woman so offended me that I responded " And, what time

does the retard bus come pick you back up tonight to take you back to

the home? " ----now I know this is not a politicallhy correct statement,

so those reading, please don't be offended-----I have a good friend

who has a son who had down's syndrome and I understand the everyday

problems people are faced who deal with this tragedy----I just

couldn't stand the rudeness of this woman who didn't even know me to

ask such a STUPID question.

You have to harden that outer shell and start thinking of retorts to

people's ignorance and turn the tables on them to make them look like

the asses they are.

Also, right after my surgery, I checked with my HMO and got myself

enrolled in private therapy to help with my mind: which we know does

not catch up with how quickly we loose weight. It has helped

tremendously and you can find out better ways to handle ignorant

situations that you are thrown into.

Now, CONGRATULATIONS on your weight loss and adding years to your

life: no one can take that away from you. Hold your head high and tell

everyone to go f*@^ off!

September 26, 2006

I am so sorry someone was cruel to you. I know it is hard to believe that it

was not about you. People who lash out at others have greater problems than

what others look like.

What I feel really great about is that the people that love me..they are

wonderful human beings. They love me because of who I am, not what I look like.

Those are the people that I really care what they think of me.

Random people who speak garbage, I just remember how horrible their lives must

be that they have to pick little me apart. I am not that important and I know

that. If they are picking on me...I have to know that their lives suck.

My thoughts are with you.

Carol Sly, Alaska

---------------------------------

Get your own web address for just $1.99/1st yr. We'll help. Yahoo! Small

Business.

September 27, 2006

So Racheal...how much for your services? I'd like to

arrange an accident.....

LOL!!

--- " R.D. Abernathy " wrote:

> Bill,

>

> Give me their names, a description of them, and

> possible location and I will hunt them down and kick

> their A$$ES! How dare they say something so

> horrible! Who are these people? I have seen your

> photos and you look great, but that isn't what is

> important. You feel great and are healthy! Please

> don't let these A$$holes affect your esteem and

> progress.

>

> Continue to take care of yourself and forget about

> these two people who obviously know nothing.

>

> in Virginia

> 299/221/150

> Lap RNY: 5/3/06

>

> Heart Broken in

> one day!

>

> I joinded this group because I was so happy at

> what I had

> done to improve my life and make my family happy

> and in one day it

> all came crashing down by two total strangers. I'm

> sure this has

> happened to others and it is so damm wrong!

>

> Twice in one day I heard some of the most negative

> comments I

> have ever heard on how I look after having Gastric

> by-pass surgery.

> These two people don't know me, never have meet

> me, will in all

> likely hood never will meet me but they judged me

> based solely on

> pictures that they saw of how my abdomen looks

> today. To say that

> these comments did not cut me deeper than any

> Doctors knife is an

> understatement! I know that after having five

> surgeries in the last

> eighteen months and countless tubes stuck in my

> chest and abdomen

> that they have left me with many ugly and

> permanent scars. Added to

> that is the fact that my body shape is not what

> would be considered

> normal, some places sunk in and some sticking out

> more that they

> should.

>

> Never mind that over the last eighteen months I

> have lost

> more than half of my original body weight, going

> from 450+ pounds to

> now at 220/225 pounds and still dropping 1 to 3

> pounds a month.

> Never mind that I have probably extended my own

> life by years now

> that my heart, lungs, etc. no longer have to

> maintain the extra

> weight. Never mind that today I can walk without

> shortness of breath

> or chest pains. Never mind that I feel healthier

> and better than I

> have in at least twenty five years. All I heard

> were " you are

> looking like a High School science experiment gone

> horribly wrong "

> and " I would not touch or be seen in public with

> him! "

>

> I have spent my entire life being judged by people

> based

> solely on my looks. Because of this I have always

> had a very low

> self esteem, been very self consciences, and

> worried about people

> seeing and judging me. I had hoped that when I

> lost the weight this

> would stop! I was very wrong, seems like people

> for the most part

> will always just look at the " wrapper " and not the

> " contents " .

>

> Just when I was feeling good about myself and

> pleased

> with " how I look " someone comes along and just

> wipes all of the good

> feeling away. Life sucks!!!

>

> [Non-text portions of this message have been

> removed]

>

__________________________________________________

September 27, 2006

>

> I joinded this group because I was so happy at what I had

> done to improve my life and make my family happy and in one day it

> all came crashing down by two total strangers. I'm sure this has

> happened to others and it is so damm wrong!

>

> Twice in one day I heard some of the most negative comments I