Re: - Men underfoot-sorry venting

December 29, 2007

I have been living with my bf for almost 2 years now. It was for financial

reasons. He is disabled and doesnt work. He also never goes anywhere. The only

time I get to myself is when I am at work or leave the house to go shopping ect.

Last saturday he was supposed to go to Kentucky to pick up his brothers niece.

He didnt go. I was upset because I was wanting the time alone to clean the

house. (I clean better that way) Then on monday he was supposed to go to get his

nieces stuff because she was moving back home. He didnt go.. I am on vacation

and he has had surgery so I have to be here with him and he can't leave. (not

that he would anyway) I am going crazy! He gets mad if I am on the pc. He doesnt

trust me... hes insecure. I am thinking about getting my own place for peace of

mind. He will be very upset but I am not happy with never being alone. He wants

me to go to bed when he does.. I hate that. I have gone over my finances and I

can make it alone. I have one fear.

That is not being able to work one day, but I know I have to trust God to

provide for me. We are now living in the sticks so no one will come to my house.

I am wanting to be back in town where my kids live. What do you all think I

should do? Theresa in Tn

Dave and Jeanne wrote: I know just what

you mean. I treasure my quiet time during the day. But my

DH has been working a different shift since second week of November. He

starts work at 3 p.m. and gets done when the work is done, anywhere from

midnight to 3 a.m. He usually wakes up around 10 a.m. and then I have to

share the TV with him. Sometimes he has to watch my soap opera, and

sometimes I let him watch what he wants and go upstairs to read or get back

on the computer.

And now my girls are home too for Christmas break. Actually my oldest

is not in school at the moment, but her bedroom is in the basement, so she

doesn't annoy me too much. My youngest seems to need her friends over every

day so far. Arrrrrgh. I really am becoming somewhat of a recluse. That's

how I started getting into the habit of reading from 6 p.m. on. I get peace

and quiet and alone time in my room. It sounds awful to think I don't want

to be with my family, because I do. I just can't seem to get into the

loudness of it all. Anyway, that's enough for now.

Glad you're feeling better from the flu.

Jeanne in WI

> Wow, this has been one restful holiday season, not that we planned it

> thus. I've finished the antibiotic, and chest and back hurt a little less;

> coughing a bit less also. So I think DH will have to put up with me awhile

> longer, lol.

>

> Cooked last evening; first time in awhile, and it tasted so good. Had

> enough left for today's lunch too, which made for good munching. We went

> out to the mailbox store and took care of DH's passport photo and printed

> off the renewal app I had filled out at home and e-mailed

to myself. Then had to go to auto insurance agent to make policy changes

due to selling one car and getting another. Wow, tuckered out.

>

> I've got a cardiac consult scheduled first week of January, and pulmy just

> called and scheduled me for breathing tests same week. Like I wanna do

> that all in the same week. I expect the cardio guy will want a stress test

> while he's at it. I just want to get the DH back to work and reclaim the

> daytime hours. He's wearing me out with the constant 'fetch me's', lol.

> Hard to have him home for weeks on end (practically), between his round of

> flu, then mine, then him taking 10 days vacation. Needed a man underfoot

> like I need another disease, lololol. I know you guys will understand.

> <grin>

>

> I just can't get anything done with someone always wanting me to get

> something for him or thinking up things he thinks I should do, like fill

> out his passport form. Argh, men!

>

> girlsaylor

Happy moments, praise God.

Difficult moments, seek God.

Quiet moments, worship God.

Painful moments, trust God.

Every moment, thank God

---------------------------------

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December 29, 2007

Theresa, you are SO right about your situation, and I know you realise it!! You

don't need our permission to do what you must for your own health and sanity. I

think you should start looking for your own place right now. Don't wait. And,

don't let him play on your sympathies either. I have been in a similar situation

myself. Leaving was the best thing I ever did. It is hard enough taking care of

ourselves, never mind being a carer for another person. Especially when they

don't appreciate it and make no effort to do for themselves. You are enabling

him to carry on this way. Get the Sunday paper tomorrow and start circling ads

to call. Even if you have to wait until he's asleep to do it. I know you will be

doing yourself a big favour. We all want only the best for you, and where you

are now just isn't.

Good luck, and keep us posted, please.

Peace and Love

Caroline

> I have been living with my bf for almost 2 years now. It was for

> financial reasons. He is disabled and doesnt work. He also never goes

> anywhere. The only time I get to myself is when I am at work or leave the

> house to go shopping ect. Last saturday he was supposed to go to Kentucky

> to pick up his brothers niece. He didnt go. I was upset because I was

> wanting the time alone to clean the house. (I clean better that way) Then

> on monday he was supposed to go to get his nieces stuff because she was

> moving back home. He didnt go.. I am on vacation and he has had

> surgery so I have to be here with him and he can't leave. (not that he

> would anyway) I am going crazy! He gets mad if I am on the pc. He doesnt

> trust me... hes insecure. I am thinking about getting my own place for

> peace of mind. He will be very upset but I am not happy with never being

> alone. He wants me to go to bed when he does.. I hate that. I have gone

> over my finances and I can make it alone. I have one fear.

> That is not being able to work one day, but I know I have to trust God

> to provide for me. We are now living in the sticks so no one will come to

> my house. I am wanting to be back in town where my kids live. What do you

> all think I should do? Theresa in Tn

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December 29, 2007

I know I need to go now but I have to wait until I get my tax refund. I dont

have the money to leave until then. I tried to go in November but he did play on

my sympathies so I stayed. Now I wish I could have left. He just will not

understand. I have been feeling like I have wanted to go for months now. It

doesnt go away so I know that is what I have to do. He also thinks the pain is

in my head and when I hurt he just tells me he hurts too. I am just not happy

being in tis relationship. Theresa

Caroline Witte wrote: Theresa, you are SO right

about your situation, and I know you realise it!! You don't need our permission

to do what you must for your own health and sanity. I think you should start

looking for your own place right now. Don't wait. And, don't let him play on

your sympathies either. I have been in a similar situation myself. Leaving was

the best thing I ever did. It is hard enough taking care of ourselves, never

mind being a carer for another person. Especially when they don't appreciate it

and make no effort to do for themselves. You are enabling him to carry on this

way. Get the Sunday paper tomorrow and start circling ads to call. Even if you

have to wait until he's asleep to do it. I know you will be doing yourself a big

favour. We all want only the best for you, and where you are now just isn't.