Re: HELP WANTED - ROWAN IS HITTING

[Guest guest]

oh my, I have been so in the same boat with my 6 year old and his

dealing with his new school! For him it was the closeness of other kids

mostly, and for those times it was avoidable, but it does happen at other

times for no apparent reason (although I feel there must be, we're just not

seeing it yet), so this is what I got the school to do to deal with this.

First we got him a 1:1 nearly touching him at all times aide. She is to make

sure he is grown up arms length from other children at all times (she is not

perfect though and the little booger has managed to escape her while she

turned away for a moment), and each and every time he makes even an attempt

to touch another child, he has to sit down at his desk and read a social

story about keeping hands to himself. It's been a slow process, but only had

one incidence of hitting in the past two weeks, so it's getting better. I

know the feeling though, it's awful to know other parents are being called

about your kid hitting them:( I have stacks of referrals here since September

(they can't discipline him here like the NT kids, but still they send me the

referrals because they have to write it all up) all about him hitting the

staff and classmates...sigh, it sucks, but there's got to be a reason so

maybe at first they can just work on avoiding the atmosphere where it's

possible for him to even do it and then maybe have someone come in (have you

been to observe yet?) who understands autism and the triggers around him to

help the teachers see what may be causing these events. Good luck:)

Tommi

[Guest guest]

Going back to basics here. Even if you don't know why behavior is

still a form of communication, however undesirable. First off Rowan

has had a major change in environement. He is in a totally different

program which may not be adressing his regulatory needs or sensory

needs. He may not be getting the academic and/or social support he

needs especially during a transitional period. He is trying to cope

with all of this with a new support person who is unfamiliar with him

and whom he does not know.

There is definitely a need here for further investigation. How could

the environment be managed for Rowan to cope better? Does he need

picture schedules? Does he need more one:one? Does he need less

group activites or shorter group involvement?

Rowan may be having delayed reactions and instead of reacting to

another child during an activity he may be taking time to process it

and then later going over to push the child. Does Rowan need more

private or individual space in a more crowded classroom? Does he

have a place to go to? Can he go someplace where it is quiet?.

Obviously the behavior is quite distressing to his class, but equally

obvious is that Rowan's needs are not being addressed. Not easy, and

not fun. Good luck on putting a plan together that helps him.

[Guest guest]

--My son is aggressive towards other children, and he is in a class

with less kids than last year. We thought it was a transition from

one school to the other, but, he has gone to different placements

and this didnt occur. He is also in a highly structured classroom

setting. He is aggressive a lot of the playground, he does a lot of

headbutting, for no apparent reason. He just rams his head into the

stomach of an unsuspecting child out of the blue. Also, he was just

never really a kid to have a hard time with adjustments or new

environments. The interesting thing is, that there is a frail little

girl (size wise, there the same age) that not only isnt he

aggressive towards, he actually helps her get her coat and bookbag

on. Also, he rarely is aggressive towards his younger brother, he is

also helpful towards him. He used to be very aggressive towards him

when they were younger.

Thea

- In parenting_autism , madness4midnight@a... wrote:

> oh my, I have been so in the same boat with my 6 year old

and his

> dealing with his new school! For him it was the closeness of other

kids

> mostly, and for those times it was avoidable, but it does happen

at other

> times for no apparent reason (although I feel there must be, we're

just not

> seeing it yet), so this is what I got the school to do to deal

with this.

> First we got him a 1:1 nearly touching him at all times aide. She

is to make

> sure he is grown up arms length from other children at all times

(she is not

> perfect though and the little booger has managed to escape her

while she

> turned away for a moment), and each and every time he makes even

an attempt

> to touch another child, he has to sit down at his desk and read a

social

> story about keeping hands to himself. It's been a slow process,

but only had

> one incidence of hitting in the past two weeks, so it's getting

better. I

> know the feeling though, it's awful to know other parents are

being called

> about your kid hitting them:( I have stacks of referrals here

since September

> (they can't discipline him here like the NT kids, but still they

send me the

> referrals because they have to write it all up) all about him

hitting the

> staff and classmates...sigh, it sucks, but there's got to be a

reason so

> maybe at first they can just work on avoiding the atmosphere where

it's

> possible for him to even do it and then maybe have someone come in

(have you

> been to observe yet?) who understands autism and the triggers

around him to

> help the teachers see what may be causing these events. Good luck:)

> Tommi

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

thanks everyone for your support and advice. i am going to take some time

over the holidays to put together some social stories (thanks tommi for the

great links). when rowan goes back to school in january i hope things will

improve. i think a picture schedule (thanks monique) may certainly help in

communicating what is troubling him and hopefully prevent the lashing out.

your valuable insight is always appreciated.

michelle mg

>

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[Guest guest]

>

> thanks everyone for your support and advice. i am going to take

some time

> over the holidays to put together some social stories (thanks tommi

for the great links).

I could use some links. Could you send them my way? Also, if any one

has links/tips over dealing with death? is absolutely obsessing

about it right now. He's just realized that he can die.

Sorry I haven't been around much. My ISP has been acting up so much

I've had a terrible time keeping up with the messages and no time to

respond.

((((((hugs))))) to all those having a tough time right now.

Tina

[Guest guest]

>> over the last couple of weeks rowan has been hitting classmates

> and staff at school. i don't understand what is happening. i

> realise it is possibly transition related (he aged out of his ABA

> program about 6 weeks ago so has a new support). i don't know what

> is going through his head, why he is hitting. help please!! it is

> an odd kind of hit - full open hand straight to the face. it's

> almost more of a push coming straight from the elbow with his hand

> parallel to the recipients face then a slap. it doesn't appear to

> be an angry or distressed action. the victim is always innocent -

> it's not a " get out of my space " shove - often the child is no

> where near him - he'll cross a room with this intention. >>

,

I would have someone log what is going on just before he slaps

someone...and see if there is a pattern. It may be something sensory

that is driving the behavior. Behavior that comes out of the blue is

often defensive...behavior that seems to build and explode is often

modulation. One key to stopping it is to figure out the why behind

it, and remove the stressor if possible.

(I think?) sent some excellent ideas...as have others...and I

do think the social stories are a good idea. Another idea in this

line is to role play the situation with dolls or plastic figures,

helping him learn how the other person might react (like hitting

back, screaming, punishing), and teaching other options for when he

is upset/excited...according to some autism experts, directing the

process through a toy takes the personal element out of it and allows

better learning because the demand load is less...

You might also try providing a " safe " place for him to go and

regroup....a tent, large box made into a house, or a corner behind a

desk or bookshelf with pillows/beanbags, etc for him to retreat to

and regroup from time to time...before it gets overwhelming. Another

idea, if you find it is sensory, is to provide deep pressure or

movement breaks...mini-tramp, sandwiching between beanbags or large

cushions, or even rolling across the carpet; proprioception is

the " great equalizer " in the sensory world, according to my OT

friends...if you can't tell what will help, that is the surest

starting place.

Raena