Guest guest Posted March 24, 2001 Report Share Posted March 24, 2001 Hi Amy: I can't tell you that everyone in my family was against me having surgery but my mother was. Every time the topic of me having the surgery came up she and I would start arguing. I finally got to the point that I said to her "I will not talk to you about this anymore. I do have other people in my life who will support me in my decision." And that is exactly what I did. I REFUSED to talk with her about it. If she brought it up I would answer her questions and then quickly change the subject. She didn't even know when my surgery date was. (My dad asked her if she wanted to come to the hospital to see me. That is how she found out when it was.) Anyway, it has been 3 weeks now and she sees me feeling well and doing well. She actually tries to help me come up with foods to eat during my puree phase. It is obvious your family is scared for you. Give them time to accept your decision. After it is over and they see you feeling well, losing weight, being happy and healthy they will then know that the decision you made was the right one for you. Good luck, Post-op 3/1/01 Dr. Thayer Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 24, 2001 Report Share Posted March 24, 2001 Amy, I have some snappy answers but first let me say that you are not alone. I am sure you will get a ton of mail from people that have had the same negative opinions of the surgery. MY family was scared and shocked but they came around and stood behind me all the way. I am very lucky to have them. Now for the snappy answers.... I am really sorry if I offend anyone... please know I like to jest. First , I would tell your family that Florine Mark has been on enough cruises paid for by you. Craig went to Disney Land with my weekly food money. The boyfriend my be afraid of saying " honey why dont you have major surgery to loose weight " because you may castrate him. He is giving you the political correct answer that he loves you the way you are. MOM... well tell her you want instead of a wake you want a party at Chucky Cheese for 200 10 year olds from your local school. That should keep her quiet. Bethie On Sat, 24 Mar 2001 18:18:46 -0000 montspt@... writes: > Hi Everyone, I need to vent a little bit. Is it just me or did any of > > you get alot of B.S. from your family and friends for doing this > surgery? Here I have made the biggest decision of my life to change > it forever and not one person I know is being the least bit > supportive to me. I realize that they are all afraid for me and > don't > want anything bad to happen but Christ enough is enough. Please tell > > me this will get easier. When I told my mother she freaked out and > tried to shock me by asking me about the arrangements for my wake > and > funeral. That was about a month ago and none of the rest of my > family > makes it any easier. Between the tears and the " Why don't you just > join Weight Watchers " (for the umpteenth time)or just start to eat > healthy. I feel so frustrated. My boyfriend doesn't think I need > because I am not as heavy as some of the people he saw at the > meeting > last week. By the way I weigh 260lbs., exactly how fat do I have to > get for them to see the problem? Please tell me this will get > easier! > Thank you for letting me have my FIT! Amy 8/7/2001 Dr. Reines > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 25, 2001 Report Share Posted March 25, 2001 Hi Amy Hopefully they'll all SHUTUP! very soon .. I don't really have much advice for you just a {{HUGS}} and that I understand where you are coming from. I chose not to tell the majority of my family .. for that reason. I tested the waters with a few and when I started getting the horror stories back in my face, etc I just stopped talking to them about it. In fact a few of my family members still don't know or maybe they do now via gossip I don't care ... I'd like to hear one say it won't work now at almost 2 yrs out. lol. The funny thing I found is the critics before surgery are now big supporters post operatively ... and really believe in the procedure. I think ignorance plays a big part .. and fear ... for something they don't know ... still I hope it all works out for you. If it were me I'd be firm and be blunt just like they are .. and tell them you don't need the added stress and remember what our mothers used to say .. if you can't say anything nice .... don't say anything at all ... hugs Lyssa list owner On Sat, 24 Mar 2001 18:18:46 -0000 montspt@... writes: > Hi Everyone, I need to vent a little bit. Is it just me or did any of > > you get alot of B.S. from your family and friends for doing this > surgery? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 25, 2001 Report Share Posted March 25, 2001 Beth, I just love your snappy answers. Well done Don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 25, 2001 Report Share Posted March 25, 2001 Hi Amy, I'm sending you a HUG. Some folks' families are frightened of the surgery concept but it is your body and your struggle. Family members could be allies if you brought them to the hospital support groups. There they could meet, see and hear others who are both pre-op and post-op. Being an orphan I did not have the parent problem but my children(30, 32 and 20) came for the operation and werte very helpful. Keep writing to the list, we are here for you! Priscilla > From: montspt@... > Date: Sat, 24 Mar 2001 18:18:46 -0000 > To: OSSG-NewEngland > Subject: Tired and Frustrated > > Hi Everyone, I need to vent a little bit. Is it just me or did any of > you get alot of B.S. from your family and friends for doing this > surgery? Here I have made the biggest decision of my life to change > it forever and not one person I know is being the least bit > supportive to me. I realize that they are all afraid for me and don't > want anything bad to happen but Christ enough is enough. Please tell > me this will get easier. When I told my mother she freaked out and > tried to shock me by asking me about the arrangements for my wake and > funeral. That was about a month ago and none of the rest of my family > makes it any easier. Between the tears and the " Why don't you just > join Weight Watchers " (for the umpteenth time)or just start to eat > healthy. I feel so frustrated. My boyfriend doesn't think I need > because I am not as heavy as some of the people he saw at the meeting > last week. By the way I weigh 260lbs., exactly how fat do I have to > get for them to see the problem? Please tell me this will get easier! > Thank you for letting me have my FIT! Amy 8/7/2001 Dr. Reines > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 25, 2001 Report Share Posted March 25, 2001 Amy- My mom was very hesitant about the surgery too, mainly because she thought it was so drastic....wasn't there a better way?? I had to reasure her that i did my research and lots of it. I had to point her to information for herself, evan the Carnie story helped her understanding. I found that those who are hesitant are one of two things, not well informed, or the type who knows everything and don't understand why you don't simply diet (these are obviosly the skinny people...lol). So if they are the 1st of the two help these people obtain some more information, then chances are they will become allies instead of obstacles, and if they are the other then let then know you are an intelligent adult capable of making intelligent informed decisions and don't dicuss it anymore with them......they will soon see how right you are!!!!! Good Luck --- Priscilla King wrote: > Hi Amy, I'm sending you a HUG. Some folks' > families are frightened of > the surgery concept but it is your body and your > struggle. Family members > could be allies if you brought them to the hospital > support groups. There > they could meet, see and hear others who are both > pre-op and post-op. Being > an orphan I did not have the parent problem but my > children(30, 32 and 20) > came for the operation and werte very helpful. Keep > writing to the list, we > are here for you! Priscilla > > > From: montspt@... > > Date: Sat, 24 Mar 2001 18:18:46 -0000 > > To: OSSG-NewEngland > > Subject: Tired and Frustrated > > > > Hi Everyone, I need to vent a little bit. Is it > just me or did any of > > you get alot of B.S. from your family and friends > for doing this > > surgery? Here I have made the biggest decision of > my life to change > > it forever and not one person I know is being the > least bit > > supportive to me. I realize that they are all > afraid for me and don't > > want anything bad to happen but Christ enough is > enough. Please tell > > me this will get easier. When I told my mother she > freaked out and > > tried to shock me by asking me about the > arrangements for my wake and > > funeral. That was about a month ago and none of > the rest of my family > > makes it any easier. Between the tears and the > " Why don't you just > > join Weight Watchers " (for the umpteenth time)or > just start to eat > > healthy. I feel so frustrated. My boyfriend > doesn't think I need > > because I am not as heavy as some of the people he > saw at the meeting > > last week. By the way I weigh 260lbs., exactly how > fat do I have to > > get for them to see the problem? Please tell me > this will get easier! > > Thank you for letting me have my FIT! Amy > 8/7/2001 Dr. Reines > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 25, 2001 Report Share Posted March 25, 2001 Amy.. My mom is having the surgery so she is very supportive...My husband doesn't want to talk about anything that might go wrong and my brother can't stop telling people because he is so happy for me... My co-workers on the other hand all I hear from them is " well if you just eat right and drink lots of water " One guy who lost a lot of weight on some stupid diet and then gained it all back keeps telling how I'll just gain it all back...Just like him ... Others keep telling me how they could never live just eating a little food I want to scream that I AM NOT GIVING UP EATING JUST EATING WRONG ... They don't seem to understand that.. Ellen 4/17/01 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 25, 2001 Report Share Posted March 25, 2001 --- p00hma@... wrote: > Amy.. > > My mom is having the surgery so she is very > supportive...My husband doesn't > want to talk about anything that might go wrong and > my brother can't stop > telling people because he is so happy for me... > > My co-workers on the other hand all I hear from them > is " well if you just > eat right and drink lots of water " One guy who lost > a lot of weight on some > stupid diet and then gained it all back keeps > telling how I'll just gain it > all back...Just like him ... Others keep telling me > how they could never live > just eating a little food I want to scream that I AM > NOT GIVING UP EATING > JUST EATING WRONG ... They don't seem to understand > that.. > > Ellen > 4/17/01 > Hi Ellen...Its amazing how people can react when they are not educated about WLS. Please keep up you great attitude...and to heck with them... Sherri ===== Sherri : ) __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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