Re: My wife was just diagnosed, and we are moving. Any advice is most welcome.

December 29, 2007

First of all, my condolences to your wife for losing her friend. The news of Ms

Bhutto's death has affected many people, but it is far worse on your wife than

on the general public.

Have you thought of listing your antiques on eBay or uBid? You would need to get

a storage temporarily if you were to do this, it takes some time to set it up,

but at least you would get the money they are worth. If you have quite a few

items you know to be valuable, this is probably the best way to do it. I know it

requires a bit of work, and you might not be willing to do it all, but I have no

other suggestions except freecycle. If you join your local freecycle you can

list the items you want to get rid of, and usually you will have more than one

offer to take them within a very short time. The 'takers' have to arrange to

pick the items up themselves. You arrange the time and place with them.

Although a lot of doctors do prescribe 'regular excersise', those of us with

fibro must be very careful as to which kinds and how much excersise we do. A lot

of us use water therapy, some use gentle yoga, and there are a few other things

people use as well. Excersise for us does NOT mean joining a health club and

going all out on the treadmill and other machines. Overdoing the excersise can

easily bring on a flare.

Sleep is very important. Most of us have meds prescribed by our doctors. It is

almost impossible to get enough sleep without them. Bear in mind that even with

the proper number of hours of sleep, we do not reach the deep stages of sleep,

and many of our problems stem from that. If your doctor would prescribe a sleep

study for your wife, that is a great place to begin.

A lot of us also use various kinds of pain medications for the pain. Again, even

the strongest meds will not usually take away all the pain.

Your wife will need to experiment with other forms of pain relief as well. A

good mattress is critical. I love heat in most forms to help with my pain. I

take long, hot bubble baths...(aromatherapy also helps me, but some are allergic

to the herbs and oils). I cannot live without my back buddies and bed buddies.

These are basically cushions of different shapes and sizes, filled with rice,

flaxseed or other things (mine also contain herbs) that one heats in the

microwave and places on the various aches and pains. Sometimes a good

chiropractor can be a big help as well.

Your wife is lucky to have such an understanding and supportive husband. Many of

us deal with disbelief and skepticism from our families and friends. This makes

it all much harder. Your wife will also need a very good doctor or team of

doctors, who REALLY know and understand this condition. They will begin a regime

of treatments and medications which can help the various symptoms.

Unfortunately, this is all that can really be done at present, to treat each

symptom individually.

I'm sure you will get a lot more helpful advice from the other members of the

group. I am so sorry you and your wife have to deal with this monster. I have

had these things...I have CFS, MPS, IBS and several other things that often seem

to go hand-in-hand with FM...since 1972. At least there are more options now,

and doctors who know about these things. I might as well have lived in Siberia

when I first became ill.

Best of luck.

Peace and Love

Caroline

> I need to be brief because of all the work we need to do to move on

> January 7th into senior housing. This is major major stress and my wife,

> who is 55 and formally quite energetic, was just diagnosed with Fibro by

> an allergist. We are relieved to finally have some kind of diagnosis, but

> she is feeling overwhelmed and exhausted by the move, and of course,

> there is all the pain. We have to pare down a small house's worth of

> stuff to fit into a 1 bedroom condo. It's a lovely green building and

> it's worth all of this, but I am worried that Barbara (I call her Babs to

> amuse and annoy her. ) is just going to go over some edge with all of

> this.

>

> A brief tragic aside. My brilliant wife was friends with Benazir Bhutto

> at Harvard, even went to Pakistan with her to tour the country. The

> assassination has caused her greater sadness than she ever anticipated.

> It's all over the news, even NPR. She just has to feel what she feels, I

> know. It's just very disturbing.

>

> We have people helping us and will have professional packers and movers

> but are not anywhere where we thought we'd be by now and have so little

> time. The sorting through old things and old memories is so much harder

> than we thought it would be, as is the selling. We posted a holiday sale

> on Craigslist and a moving sale and have sold very little. We have given

> away big bags of stuff and will give away much more. I'm willing to get a

> storage unit, but Barbara would much prefer to sell the things we no

> longer need and have a fresh start.

>

> What I know about Fibro: the best things to do are to get regular

> exercise and to get help to get restorative sleep. It sounds like people

> use all kinds of different methods and substances to control their pain.

> When there is time, I will read through all the posts and find out about

> all of this for my wife.

>

> For now, any advice or suggestions about how Barbara can manage this

> awful stress, which is exacerbating the pain, and/or any tips about pain

> management for the short term are most welcome, as are any thoughts about

> us making it through this move with our sanity intact or about selling

> antique and vintage furniture and collectibles are equally welcome and

> please write to me privately if this is off topic.

>

> Bless you all,

>

> Charlie

____________________________________________________________

GET FREE 5GB EMAIL - Check out spam free email with many cool features!

Visit http://www.crawler.com/email to find out more!

December 29, 2007

Hi Charlie and welcome to you and your wife to the group.

As for selling your antiques and vintage collectables, if you have the

storage facilities you might try opening an ebay store or selling them

on Ebay auctions. You might also check into auctioneers in your area

that do estate sales. They would probably be able to attend to the

storage of the items until the sale.

I hope you find an easy solution and I wish you and your wife the very

best in your move.

Good luck

N.

December 29, 2007

> A brief tragic aside. My brilliant wife was friends with Benazir

> Bhutto at Harvard, even went to Pakistan with her to tour the

> country. The assassination has caused her greater sadness than she

> ever anticipated. It's all over the news, even NPR. She just has to

> feel what she feels, I know. It's just very disturbing.

I was reading a Newsweek interview with Mrs. Bhutto just before I

turned on the Lehrer News Hour and heard about her death. I am just

sickened about it. Her family and friends are in my thoughts and

prayers, as are the people of Pakistan. What a horrible, tragic

loss. The world is a darker, nastier place without her.

Welcome to you and your wife. No advice on moving from me; I'm not

planning to move till they cart me off to the church home.

Z

December 29, 2007

Hi Charlie. Welcome. I am glad you came here. First of all, I am sorry to

hear of anyone diagnosed with this.

My name is Debra, I am 43, and was diagnosed about 4 years ago. I had the

symptoms for years before I realized something was wrong. Also, the pain did

not set in until about 4 years ago.

Rest is a major part of mananging this. Exercise varies from person to

person. Some do not have the ability to exercise much because of constant

fatigue and pain. For some people, exercise actually makes the symptoms worse.

It may be beneficial to her though... as we all vary in the stages and severity

of the symptoms.

Pain..... I started out with Tramadol a non narcotic prescription. It helped

for a while. Then I went to Darvocet a pretty mild narcotic. Then about 1 and

1/2 years ago I started taking Hydrocodone which helps me tremendously. I did

not want to take narcotic pain meds, but in order to function with this illness,

I have to. Some people have tried Lyrica, the new drug that is specifically

used to treat fibromyalgia. Some of the people get good relief, some don't.

As for over the counter, we have all tried Ibuprofen, Tylenol, Aleve, or

Aspirin. It helps some people.... but I found quickly that none of these would

touch my pain from fibromyalgia.

Alot of us might use epsom salt baths or mineral baths. Also over the counter

pain patches.

Of course, other people I meet here have to take even stronger narcotics than

me.... morphine or oxycodone.

Please also bear in mind the fibromyalgia is pain, but much more also. We

have other symptoms that annoy us from day to day. Some have loss of balance

and coordination, difficulty concentrating, and memory problems. Sleep

disorders are common with this... such as insomnia or sleep that just does not

ever make us feel rested. So chronic fatigue is a problem. And stiffness,,,,,

I might add that one. It is miserable... for me especially in the mornings.

Numbness and tingling in various parts of the body are also common.

I sure hope she can work with her doctor to find a treatment plan that does

help. Fibro does not usually go away but worsens with the years. (however, I

have heard of a few people who do get better.... but not the norm).

Keeping stress levels down is a real key.

I wish you both the best with your move. And remember, this disease is

manageble for most of us but it changes from day to day and is so unpredictable.

It actually can change with me from hour to hour somedays.

Well, there is my rambling. Hope we can be of some support.

Debra V.

Charlie Wilding wrote:

I need to be brief because of all the work we need to do to move on

January 7th into senior housing. This is major major stress and my wife, who is

55 and formally quite energetic, was just diagnosed with Fibro by an allergist.

We are relieved to finally have some kind of diagnosis, but she is feeling

overwhelmed and exhausted by the move, and of course, there is all the pain. We

have to pare down a small house's worth of stuff to fit into a 1 bedroom condo.

It's a lovely green building and it's worth all of this, but I am worried that

Barbara (I call her Babs to amuse and annoy her. ) is just going to go over

some edge with all of this.

A brief tragic aside. My brilliant wife was friends with Benazir Bhutto at

Harvard, even went to Pakistan with her to tour the country. The assassination

has caused her greater sadness than she ever anticipated. It's all over the

news, even NPR. She just has to feel what she feels, I know. It's just very

disturbing.

We have people helping us and will have professional packers and movers but are

not anywhere where we thought we'd be by now and have so little time. The

sorting through old things and old memories is so much harder than we thought it

would be, as is the selling. We posted a holiday sale on Craigslist and a moving

sale and have sold very little. We have given away big bags of stuff and will

give away much more. I'm willing to get a storage unit, but Barbara would much

prefer to sell the things we no longer need and have a fresh start.

What I know about Fibro: the best things to do are to get regular exercise and

to get help to get restorative sleep. It sounds like people use all kinds of

different methods and substances to control their pain. When there is time, I

will read through all the posts and find out about all of this for my wife.

For now, any advice or suggestions about how Barbara can manage this awful

stress, which is exacerbating the pain, and/or any tips about pain management

for the short term are most welcome, as are any thoughts about us making it

through this move with our sanity intact or about selling antique and vintage

furniture and collectibles are equally welcome and please write to me privately

if this is off topic.

Bless you all,

Charlie

---------------------------------

Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

December 30, 2007

Hi Charlie (and Babs),

I'm sorry it's taken me so long to welcome you. But I do welcome you and hope

you find all the information and support you need here. It is a good group.

I can relate to moving into a smaller space and not wanting to get rid of

heirlooms. I'm going to have to do the same thing soon, although I don't know

where yet. I'm glad you could get into senior housing. You will probably enjoy

it after you are there.

I have precious things that I just don't know what to do with, such as photo

albums that go back it seems indefinitely. My mother is a senior living

facility, in an apartment with one bedroom, although she does have storage space

on the ground floor, and sent me everything that wouldn't fit or she didn't

need. My aunt died at 92 and left me her things, she had not children. My

uncle, on the other side is 100 and when he moved into a senior facility, gave

me all of his things, he too had no children and his wife had already died. I

have a basement full of all these things.

I decided to have an auction house come out and appraise the things that are

valuable and see about them auctioning them off. I have furniture, silver,

china, and on and on. I wonder if that would work for you.

For the smaller items I was thinking about e-bay but with fibro and all the

other things I have, I don't see how I can package everything and get it out on

time. My son said he would help, but he lives in Boston, 2 hours from me in CT.

It's not very practicable.

The other thing I have found helpful for the things I'm not selling - no

garage sales, can't do it - there is the site called freecycle.org that keeps

things out of the landfills by offerring them to anyone who will come and get

them. I'm going to do this with some old sofas and chest of drawers and other

things. Anything can be posted and usually someone gets in in a few days. My

kids aren't sure about my doing this because I live alone, but I think I will

anyway. If you are interested in freecycle.org, be sure you go to that site,

because there is a copy cat site that isn't good. You select which group you

would like to join by first putting in your zipcode and then picking from what

they put up there. I live in a small town and there is one here.

I'm dreading this, like you are, for the stress and the pain more than the

moving, although I don't like that either.

I have a laundry list of diseases that sometimes go along with fibro and I

take meds for those. I have 5mg of hydrocodone that I take if I need to. I

take over the counter meds but they don't work very well. Lots of people on

this site find a warm bath helps them. It doesn't help me; it saps me of energy

even more. Water exercise is also another thing that helps many people and is

much easier on your body that regular exercise, which I just can't do anymore.

Lyrica is taken by many others on this site.

I'm sorry I can't be of more help in the pain area. I haven't found much that

helps me.

I do take meds for depression and particularly with this move you need to keep

an eye on Babs to see if any depression surfaces. It is quite common and

affects most of us.

I wish you much luck on your move and on finding the answers you need. It is

so refreshing to have a husband write in regard to his wife. God bless you.

Write to me anytime.

TTFN,

Marti