A belated thanks

[Guest guest]

Thanks, everyone, for your input. Everything you all say rings truer

to me than any steppism.

Holly

> Okay…I've been waffling for months about this, and maybe

> those of you

> who have had similar experiences could offer feedback. I would be

> much obliged.

>

> I am considering leaving AA but the fear that " they might be

> right "

> is holding me back. That, and my people-pleasing (read

codependent)

> nature. No, I don't want my sponsor to call after I disappear

> and

> drill me. I wouldn't know how to respond. Those people seem to

> have

> a way of undermining every rational argument I have and then I feel

> just plain wrong.

>

> For the reader (especially the people-pleasing types like me): How

> did you respond to interrogations by XAer's upon leaving the

> " fellowship " ? How did you avoid being dragged down by their

> threats

> of " jails, institutions, and death " ? Where did you go

> afterward to

> seek human interaction (besides the Internet) that 12-step-groups

> once offered?

>

> I just don't feel strong enough to endure any rapid fire I may

> experience upon announcing my intentions to depart…or perhaps

cut

> down attendance drastically. I have my whole life to look forward

to

> (I'm 26), marriage, children, and a life sentence within the

> walls of

> a dingy clubhouse doesn't exactly fill me with optimism. I have

> been

> compliant and people-pleasing my entire life and membership in AA

> seems to just perpetuate that. Meanwhile I continue to feel

> ambivalent and smothered.

>

> Thanks!

> -Holly