how to forgive these clueless friends?

[Guest guest]

Walked, a question for you...how do you forgive them? A problem I've had

throughout my life, a flea perhaps, is that I cannot forgive " friends " who do

what you describe. I often end the friendship or it is never the same for me

again. This has led me to isolate more and more and to just not even try to

tell people things that I know if they respond uncaringly I'll never forgive it.

The pain this triggers in me is just huge and probably related to the constant

invalidation and lack of understanding meted out by my nada.

So how do you do it? How do you still have a genuine friendship after they've

invalidated the most painful thing in your life? I'd put those questions to

others here too if they'd like to jump in.

>

> I actually do say things like that, when I am talking with friends and they

say " be compassionate " . I said, " would you say that to the child of a murderer?

Sex abuser? Rapist? " and they still don't get it. " my mother was a monster "

> I think people just cannot even begin to imagine our pain, nor do they even

want to.

> Thanks for all the replies to my post,

> Walked

>