Re: the little things slap you in the face

November 7, 2010

Not to worry, sometimes RL necessities get in the way. Glad you're back.

Yep. I have experienced that sort of thing. Sometimes a memory or realization

is triggered by observing friends or acquaintances interacting with each other

in sweet, caring ways. Sometimes watching a movie does that too.

I've even been propelled into a flashback by watching my nada interacting with

some small children. That was an eerie experience. I actually had the sensation

that suddenly I was floating somewhere above and behind my own body as I

observed my nada deliberately ignoring one child and hurting the child's

feelings as she totally focused on a different child.

-Annie

>

> Hi All, So sorry I have been MIA (not that you all missed me, lol), but I have

been drowning in school and depositions lately.

>

> Anyway, I have a new nanny and she is soooo good with the kids. She's 22 and

the sweetest girl ever. So today I took her home for a few off days since she's

been here for a week and her mom was really glad to see her. She hugged her and

told her she missed her. Then she handed her her mail and said, " it looks like

you have something from the college there. " This girl goes to online school.

>

> And immediately, I thought, " Wow, my mother would have opened every, single

piece of mail with my name on it she could.! " And then I said it. I don't

know, but it flew out of my mouth and her mom said, " Well, it has her name on it

and she's an adult, so I don't invade her privacy. "

>

> Man, how something so little can be so eye opening to me. When I was 21, I

had to go get a PO Box because my mother was opening my mail. When she found

out, she accused me of all kinds of things....badgered me for months on what I

was hiding and even claimed she had " friends " who worked at the post office that

were going to call and " tell on me. "

>

> Does this happen to you? You're going along your day and then something so

benign feels like it cuts to your core? To a typical person, these little

things aren't a huge deal, but when mixed with a BPD mother who never respected

my privacy and combined with all the other weird crap she did...it's all very

damaging.

>

November 8, 2010

Yes. It's always in the little things. The big things are certainly tough, but

when it's big, I have a chance to get all my emotional " armor " on and cope

better. I can grab all of the " gear " that got me through the bigger horrors.

The little things just seem to slip right in and hit me harder.

Also, there's nothing like a small, uneventful moment in another person's life

to let you know how much you've normalized a nasty nada trick.

Sheesh.

Blessings,

Karla

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