Been so busy!!!

[Guest guest]

Hi Everyone,

I don't want you all to think I've fallen off the face of the earth!!! I was

very busy with paperwork and got 99% of it in; this upcoming week I aught to

have all the rest taken care of and then the stress will be just waiting to see

how things go.

I am sorry, I haven't even had time to read any of your emails!!

As far as food goes..wow..it's much more of a challenge when my level of stress

is extremely high...and I also think my harmones are messing with me sometimes!!

I have to say that I haven't had any lengthy periods of binging, and I used to

go five days in a row before I can stop.

What I'm doing now instead is an improvement; I'll be fine till about 6pm or so,

and even then I will have waited til hungry to eat, but that meal is way, way

bigger than any human being would need to get full; I think I'm having a big

feast, lol. I have zero will to stop eating!!! But then after, when I'm

over-full, whereas I used to continue to binge through the night and into the

next day, I'm not doing that. I'm not eating and just waiting til hungry the

next day. So big improvement from what I used to do when very stressed, but

still eating enough to create a bit of weight gain on a body that's already big.

I'm not beating myself up.

But I am confused about the eat what you want; I am a true believer that if we

eat what we want enough it will lose its specialness, but sometimes I think the

amount I'd have to eat to get those foods to be ordinary would create a bunch

more weight gain. I have certain foods that are still " special " and I have no

will power to eat a " normal " amount. Lots of foods, that I used to restrict, I

can have and not overeat, but certain foods like a great Italian restaurant

version of chicken parm......well, that is too hard to stop eating right now. I

think the goal is balance; I don't think I want to be a health extremist, but I

sure want to eat a large variety of healthy foods but I sure can't restrict the

chicken parm cause you can bet that will lead to an all out binge of it unless I

avoid it forever.   But I don't really want to have it ten times in a row til it

seems ordinary because that will be another 20 Lb weight gain cause I don't stop

at a

normal amount.

I know my goal is a healthy, balanced way of eating where no food is restricted

but sometimes I don't know in the moment whether to have the chicken parm AGAIN

to make it more ordinary, or whether to pick the salad because it's so good for

me. If I could just have a normal balance of variety of foods that would be

great, but then there are foods that are still " special " so how can I be the

normal eater I want to be around those foods?

I still don't feel like I have all the answers!!!

Laurie