Re: work parking lot bully

[Guest guest]

That's a tough one since you are currently vulnerable to being towed and fined

for having expired plates.

Is there a way that you could park somewhere that he doesn't cover, like another

floor of the parking structure, even if it means a longer walk for you? Until

you get your new plates taken care of, me personally, I'd just be polite but

distant. A brief and neutral " Thank you for telling me, I'll park there next

time " or " Thank you for your input. " is better than a confrontation if you think

he might be the vindictive type.

Its not a good idea to confront a bully when you're in a power-down position in

relation to the bully: you're smaller than him, and you are vulnerable to his

vindictiveness: he can get you towed away.

Meanwhile, I'd try to make a point of arriving at the same time as someone you

know in your office, parking next to him or her, and walking in with him or her;

try to not be alone in that parking structure.

A lot of companies encourage car-pooling these days; is there someone you could

car-pool with for a while?

After you get your new license plates, if he continues to exhibit bullying

behavior toward you, then I'd bring it up with his supervisor.

Just my two cent's worth, to take or leave.

-Annie

>

> Hi everyone,

>

> I'm relatively new to a job in a large building. There are security guards

that cover both the building and the lot. One of them has decided to start

picking on me. The first time, I had parked in a spot he did not like--there

was no sign and the curb was white. It was a legal spot. He just didn't want

me there. He watched me get out of my car, then accosted me (alone of course)

in the hall, and told me the rule was I couldn't park there, and acted like I

was very bad and discourteous to others for doing so. Not knowing yet that he

was a bully, I was contrite.

>

> But I realized after it was a classic bullying encounter. Now, Friday, I was

parked on the street outside of our lot. He approached a sweet young intern of

ours, and had her relay a message to me to move my car. This was legal street

parking, not on building property. He just wanted me to move the car because it

was a convenient spot--'they changed the rule' is what the intern was directed

to tell me. I did not move the car.

>

> I know this is only two incidents, but I FEEL the bully in it and I know he's

doing so. I am very courteous and law abiding and follow all signs in the lot,

even just the company policy signs that are not legally enforceable. I follow

the painted curbs and the city's signs, too. This guy is making stuff up. He

is bullying because I seem sweet and small in stature.

>

> I have a speech planned for if he accosts me again today or this week. But I

am more stressed and scared about this than I understood. I think this was a

large part of my big dissociation this weekend. This man is a security

guard--he could not get me fired, but my tags are expried (remember, I'm saving

up to update them but am in crisis right now). So he could maybe get me towed.

I need help! This is so terrifying! When this guy confronted me, he really was

an ASS. I am ready to say, without raising my voice, stop picking on me, I know

the law and follow it, etc. But God the ANXIETY! This is triggering me of

course. Help!!

>

> Charlie

>

[Guest guest]

Some of these guys like to thinks they are more important then they are. If

your little like me sometimes that makes you a likely target...a way they

can show off there power. In my experience there bosses know these people

have attitude problems and consider that as option down the road if this

continue. Also you can say anything you want to this guy..he can't get you

in trouble for what you say. Smile and tell him to get a real job.

This used car guy once gave me a hard time. He wouldn't give me my deposit

back..game me some BS about the money was in a safe that and only the

manager could open it. The night before someone told my husband that this

guy was the only one that could refund our money. After a few min of being

BSed I got pissed. I stood in front of him folded my hands around me looked

him in the eye for a few second moved into his personal space ...he turned

bug eyed and stepped back.I stepped into him again and firmly said give me

my money! He put his hand in his pocket and gave me my money...then told me

I was never able to come to his place again...yeah Like i would. The fear I

saw in his face was priceless.

not that I recommend you do that..but show strength around this guy and

don't take any of his crap..there is very little he can do to you if you are

following the rules.

See his boss and find out what the rules are tell him you don't want to

upset the cop wanna be.

On Mon, Oct 18, 2010 at 10:22 AM, charlottehoneychurch <

charlottehoneychurch@...> wrote:

>

>

> Hi everyone,

>

> I'm relatively new to a job in a large building. There are security guards

> that cover both the building and the lot. One of them has decided to start

> picking on me. The first time, I had parked in a spot he did not like--there

> was no sign and the curb was white. It was a legal spot. He just didn't want

> me there. He watched me get out of my car, then accosted me (alone of

> course) in the hall, and told me the rule was I couldn't park there, and

> acted like I was very bad and discourteous to others for doing so. Not

> knowing yet that he was a bully, I was contrite.

>

> But I realized after it was a classic bullying encounter. Now, Friday, I

> was parked on the street outside of our lot. He approached a sweet young

> intern of ours, and had her relay a message to me to move my car. This was

> legal street parking, not on building property. He just wanted me to move

> the car because it was a convenient spot--'they changed the rule' is what

> the intern was directed to tell me. I did not move the car.

>

> I know this is only two incidents, but I FEEL the bully in it and I know

> he's doing so. I am very courteous and law abiding and follow all signs in

> the lot, even just the company policy signs that are not legally

> enforceable. I follow the painted curbs and the city's signs, too. This guy

> is making stuff up. He is bullying because I seem sweet and small in

> stature.

>

> I have a speech planned for if he accosts me again today or this week. But

> I am more stressed and scared about this than I understood. I think this was

> a large part of my big dissociation this weekend. This man is a security

> guard--he could not get me fired, but my tags are expried (remember, I'm

> saving up to update them but am in crisis right now). So he could maybe get

> me towed. I need help! This is so terrifying! When this guy confronted me,

> he really was an ASS. I am ready to say, without raising my voice, stop

> picking on me, I know the law and follow it, etc. But God the ANXIETY! This

> is triggering me of course. Help!!

>

> Charlie

>

>

>