Frustrated!

[Guest guest]

I need to vent a little bit. I discovered IE about a year and a half ago and

I've been trying to practice it, but I still think about food all the time, I

still want to eat when I'm not hungry and when I am hungry, it's much easier to

listen to signals to eat what I want and stop when I'm done, but I rarely get to

this point because I munch when I'm not really hungry.

I overeat regularly, not full-on binges, but I munch and munch and I feel like I

can't stop, and I hate it. I just want food to be gone from my mind except when

I'm hungry, but I'm still always thinking about nutrition, weight loss, etc. I

give myself permission to eat what I want, but often when I start, I can't stop.

Then the next morning, I'm not hungry but I still want breakfast, then I eat it

and keep eating regular meals and snacks sometimes, but I'm usually not hungry

when I do.

Last week I weighed for the first time since starting IE, and I'm ten pounds

heavier than when I started. My new pants are tight, and I can't afford to buy

more. I felt fine after I weighed, and for three days after, I didn't eat when I

wasn't hungry, I ate what I want when I was hungry and stopped as soon as the

hunger went away. I didn't feel deprived and I felt like " yes, I finally have

it! " but then this weekend I continued with my usual pattern and I can't get

back in that mindset.

I also feel bad because it seems like everyone around me is losing weight and

I'm gaining while struggling to take care of my food issues. My husband,

parents, and coworker are losing weight and it seems so easy. I know my worth as

a person isn't tied into my weight, but I feel inadequate. I'm just so

frustrated, because a year and a half into this, I still can't get a handle on

it. I'm only 21, and I started my first diet when I was 13, and my weight has

gone up and down ever since. I haven't been on the diet rollercoaster nearly as

long as a lot of other people on this forum, but I still can't get a grip. I'd

love some help, guidance, reassurance, anything. I just feel really low right

now, and I don't want to give up, but sometimes it's hard not to. Help please.

McKella