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How BPD spills over

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I'm still trying to get used to handling the " fleas. " When my husband gets

upset with me about something, I agonize for hours and beg him to not dwell on

being angry with me. It's not even his anger (he's a pretty mild-mannered

person), but it's my reaction to it. I get so wound up at any anger in the

house.

I also upset myself when I get upset with the kids. We're about to start the

adoption proceedings, and I have been helping my husband raise his kids for

almost 4 years now. They are good kids, but they have some behavior issues

(their mom is a drug addict who was abusing while pregnant), and I find it very

frustrating sometimes. Coupled with the younger one's issues from my husband's

mother taking care of her and coddling her in the process (she may be BP now

that I think of it...I'll have to explore that later, but she's certainly

mentally ill), there are some frustrating days. I worry constantly that I will

turn out to be like Nada; I never saw good examples of discipline, so I always

struggle with what to do.

Oh, and of course, with the exception of Nada and my grandparents, the entirety

of my FOO on my nada's side is not speaking to me because we eloped. And they

wonder why.....

I just wonder a lot how I'm going to have a successful family when I have no

examples of such in my life.

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