Relapse

[Guest guest]

Hello! My name is . Last spring I discovered Intuitive Eating and joined

this group. I haven't posted for a long time, but I always read the recent

posts here.

I want to say that the concept of Intuitive Eating radically has changed my

life. I was struggling so much from depression over my recent divorce and the

stress of being a single mom and the binge/self hatred/starve cycle had become

just another hopeless part of my life. I realized that this cycle was actually

making my depression worse and keeping me from getting to better places

emotionally.

It took a few months but by the end of summer IE was helping me be happier where

I was and who I was - which is the goal of this in my opinion. Food lost its

power over me. I kept chocolate bars in my freezer and actually forgot they

were there! Best of all, for the first time in my life I got into an exercise

routine that I stuck to. I did yoga nearly daily not to lose weight but because

it made me feel amazing. I focused on how things made me feel and I learned to

stop eating when I was full. I did lose weight but didn't know it since I had

thrown out my scale, but I shouldn't have been surprised since the weekly (or

more) nights of my massive binging had stopped. It kinda felt like a miracle

since I had struggled with eating disorders my whole life. I absolutely

believe in IE.

However....Past few months, I've lost my focus. It's like I've had a relapse.

Not sure the reason - my dad being hospitalized repeatedly since December,

losing a friend, serious money stress, being snowed in, just the Winter blues.

My yoga stopped. My binging returned. I've spiraled down. This week, I've had

drama with my ex husband and numbed the emotions with large and I mean LARGE

amounts of food. I feel the panic that " better eat while you can because soon

I'll be doing that IE thing again " As if IE is a diet!!!! My pants are

getting tight. I just want to eat and sleep. I am back to my depressive

tendencies. I am criticizing myself...

Can any of you relate to relapsing like this? I even have reread the IE main

points. Should I read the whole thing again? Read other books? Should I just

focus on getting back into yoga and the food will follow? I can't seem to stop

when I am full now. I simply do not want to stop eating. I've become a rebel.

I know I believe in IE what I am lacking now is my resolve. Like I need to hit

that " wall " of being done with these destructive habits all over again... but I

want to correct this now! Any help would be appreciated!!!

Wishing you all the best ~