Guest guest Posted August 23, 2000 Report Share Posted August 23, 2000 Heaven, That's telling it like it is -- it is sad that some stepnazis are actually good people " when they feel like being human " -- seems, though that a point of no return is reached. It's just too late for me and my ex stepette wife now, she's been in too deep too long and I thank God I may at last be drawing free of the black hole of our XA induced divorce. Good luck, too, -- nice to know you, . > >Reply-To: 12-step-freeegroups >To: <12-step-freeegroups> >Subject: Welcome >Date: Tue, 22 Aug 2000 19:03:53 -0500 > > , you already got a welcome from these " freedom flyers " here with >a lot more time in this group than me. Personally, it does not matter in >the least to me that you were in OA...because you had those twelve steps >shoved into your brain....too. It is all the same....you feel the call to >freedom....to throw out those crutches and walk on your own. Run! Don't >run into a binge...just run free with loving people and pretty >soon....you'll fly...because you will find you know yourself so much better >and like yourself so much better for leaving that " romper room " doormat, >crazytalk behind....obviously, you are an intelligent lady. To say the >least. What beauty there is in running and flying! As for your >resentment, there were many things which occurred during my life in which >I had no part. A lot of them when I was a child...and a lot of which are >personal (the concept of personal privacy is way too complex for >brainwashed AA minds). Anyway, I choose not to make those things into >resentments and I don't believe they caused me to drink...I think my own >behavior caused me to drink...just like it has kept me sober. But, if I >ever did grow " too bitter to enjoy " because of those past incidents, I >would turn within or find a licensed counselor who does not subscribe to >the AA myth propaganda. There are many solutions....too many to >count.....and AA is not one of them, for me. > This is only the tip of the iceberg as to why I do not go to AA. >Personally, I would rather drink than go to AA. I don't want to drink, >either. So I do neither. It is that simple. Meetings are either crammed >tight with shame binges or drunkalogoes....or other types of " binge >rehashings " which to me, are simply one more way to get the whole group >feeling crappy so that everybody can SWARM IN AND LOVE BOMB EACHOTHER (Good >little cult, huh?). Ick. > I was told to keep going back and doing the 4th step over and over or >else I was going to get drunk. You know, kind of like that Greek guy who >had to keep pushing the heavy rock up the hill only to have it roll back >down again .... and having to push it back up there only to have it roll >down again....and so on and so on. The fourth step did NOT A THING for me. > I tried to pretend like it did....funny, I just couldn't ever lie to >myself about AA. It was too sick for me! I just didn't want to drink...I >just didn't know that it didn't have to be so complicated! > I was always fascinated with people who left the " mother ship " and got >onto dry land...and never came back....you know.....the SMART ONES (too >smart for AA, definately). > The Fourth Step got to be a real " come on, show and tell...shame, beg, >control thang " for my (first) guru nazi step monster...I mean sponsor...and >it was a joke to me. She didn't think it was funny when I fired her. I >told her " some things are better left alone....like me, you wicked bat " . >She drank about 2 months later (and not because I told her she was a wicked >bat) but I did not. Still sober free of ALL of it!. She's out there still >today.....I don't think that's funny. I hope she finds this site >too...cause she's a real nice lady when she feels like being human and >decides to think and speak for herself. The only one who has the power to >not pick up that first drink is me. Alcohol is just liquid in a bottle. >It does not " rise up " and " overwhelm poor powerless me (because I got >nothing out of her fourth step) No...my hand has to grab that glass....so >that I can drink. But, I have few minutes between the impulse and the >action....to think again. You are not going to die, ...you have only >begun to live. Thank God. > Life is too grand and short....and the world is too big. They gave >you some great sites...aa deprogramming has some awesome articles and >aahorror has helped me tremendously. Again, I encourage you to check out >the book How AA Failed Me. The author also struggled with eating as well >as alcoholism and tried to use the 12 - step " cure " (HA!!!!) as well. >Anyway, welcome. This is a group of free thinkers.... it holds some of the >most intelligent minds I have ever encountered....and laughter >abounds...... just keep wading through the mails until you get a >gem....there is always at least one in every digest....and better yet, >every one here has " been there " in one form or another. > I still think my ex-sponsor was Hitler's mistress in another >life....she denied it...but boy...she used to raise that right hand behind >the podium.....like the worst of them.........(maybe she was just >practicing for another relapse...who knows). She was one of those who >thought " faking it till you make it " meant hiding the gin bottle & dousing >herself between meetings...and then exposing her rotten gut through shaming >all her little " pigeons " (us sponsorees) in meetings or during step work. >Poor thing. God bless her soul. I believe that you are gonna' make it and >thank God we no longer have to fake it! CHEERS! ________________________________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at http://www.hotmail.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 23, 2000 Report Share Posted August 23, 2000 Read your message to --found it somewhat inspiring. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 13, 2002 Report Share Posted March 13, 2002 I don't know why she said to ask me, I'm the only serious one in the group. I still don't have a dx but initially I suspected PM. We still haven't ruled it out. Ed from Lier lier pants on fire land > Welcome, to our newest members. Just ask Ed, we might appear to be a little crazy here--but we need > to be I think!! Laughter is good medicine. > > I have PM and was probably the most fortunate one here in that my dx was finalized in just a couple > weeks including a muscle biopsy, an EMG and all the lab work. I do not have the JO-1 antibody. I do > have MCTD-- H. are you on that list? Also have Raynaud's and have developed low thyroid since > dx. > > Just jump right in and swim with the rest of us. > > Hi, to those from Australia. We so enjoyed our visit to Australia in 1988--went to Cairns, Sydney > (love the aquarium and the harbor) and Melbourne where we had a farm stay. > > Lelia from Colorado where it was a nice day but is cooling down and getting windy---probably ready > for tomorrow's snow and/or blizzard. March/April are our snowiest months actually. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 20, 2003 Report Share Posted February 20, 2003 Colin - Thanks for sharing your story with us. This is an interesting group with a wealth of resources and experiences! Hope it is helpful to you. Welcome! - Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.