Guest guest Posted June 21, 2004 Report Share Posted June 21, 2004 Dawn, I personally do not feel ashamed for having the surgery. When I meet someone new depending on the relationship, it's on a need to know basis....lol. I started a new relationship with a great guy and didn't tell him right away but soon felt I had better tell him before we progressed too far. He had a right to know, specially when he wanted to take me to a nice restaurant for dinner and I'd only be able to eat 4 bites if i was lucky...lol. But for some friends and even some family members what ever you feel comfortable in is what is best for you. Never ever feel ashamed for what you did. I'm proud of what you did, took a lot of courage and determination. Laurette 4/23/04 open rny 309/290/259/150 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 21, 2004 Report Share Posted June 21, 2004 Dawn, My opinion is that it really isn't anyone's business how you lost weight. Personally, I have only told a few friends that I am planning on doing it. They have all been very supportive in my decision to lose weight through this method. If your high school classmates say it as a compliment, say thank you for noticing. If they asked for more details, just say... what does it matter. I am fit and healthy. Does it make you a bad person? Of course not! It makes you smart because you've done something to make yourself healthy. Eileen Are you ashamed??? Hey folks, Quick question, for those of us that have had surgery do you ever feel like not telling people that you had surgery? Do they look at you like you made a deal with the Devil? Like you couldn't do it on your own? I met a guy and he is really nice and I saw someone from school and she was like you really lost a lot of weight. I said yeah but for some reason I was reluctant to say I had surgery does that make me a bad person? I really don't think I would be where I am if I hadn't had surgery I would not feel and look as great as I do! All I can say is that I don't want the guy who just happened to be the bus driver to know that I had surgery when I bumped into my high school friend. Dawn 355/240/160 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 21, 2004 Report Share Posted June 21, 2004 never, i do not feel asamed..i feel great and look great....nora dawn200111238 wrote:Hey folks, Quick question, for those of us that have had surgery do you ever feel like not telling people that you had surgery? Do they look at you like you made a deal with the Devil? Like you couldn't do it on your own? I met a guy and he is really nice and I saw someone from school and she was like you really lost a lot of weight. I said yeah but for some reason I was reluctant to say I had surgery does that make me a bad person? I really don't think I would be where I am if I hadn't had surgery I would not feel and look as great as I do! All I can say is that I don't want the guy who just happened to be the bus driver to know that I had surgery when I bumped into my high school friend. Dawn 355/240/160 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 21, 2004 Report Share Posted June 21, 2004 Ashamed? No... Discreet? Yes. Here's my take on this question. I know my self. I know how many hundreds of times that I've tried to lose weight. I know how many promises I've made to my self to do what ever it took to lose the weight. It just never happened. Now, at 47 years of age with 3 children under 13, knowing myself, I needed the intervention and tool that WLS provides in order for me to live life as it was meant to be, with JOY. I am now 148 days post op, down 106 pounds with about 80 more to go for my ultimate goal. Yes, people are noticing and giving me compliments, but, I simply thank them for noticing and let them know that I still have a ways to go. I have had a few ask me what I was doing to lose the weight, I honestly answer, " I'm eating alot less... " and that's all I say. Unless I feel I know the person enough to share more detail that's all people really need to know. Ashamed, I quess you could say to some degree that I felt some shame when I weighed 418 pounds and had the problems that go with carrying around that much weight. Now, I'm 312 and find myself wanting to reach out to folks who are struggling, but know that they have to do it for themselves, I just am here for support and cheering them on. Oh, one last thing... for the first time in probably 20 years, I was able to wrap a regular bath towel around my waist this morning... See, even as a guy, I recognize the little things. -Ray > Hey folks, > > Quick question, for those of us that have had surgery do you ever > feel like not telling people that you had surgery? Do they look at > you like you made a deal with the Devil? Like you couldn't do it on > your own? I met a guy and he is really nice and I saw someone from > school and she was like you really lost a lot of weight. I said yeah > but for some reason I was reluctant to say I had surgery does that > make me a bad person? I really don't think I would be where I am if I > hadn't had surgery I would not feel and look as great as I do! All I > can say is that I don't want the guy who just happened to be the bus > driver to know that I had surgery when I bumped into my high school > friend. > > Dawn > > 355/240/160 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 21, 2004 Report Share Posted June 21, 2004 I think there may have been a bit of embarassment at first. I know I'd heard people make disparaging comments about others who had had to resort to surgery. I didn't tell anyone until the surgery was booked. Now I find it embarassing that so many people know. I wish my family hadn't spread it around so much. Now I have people asking me how I feel all the time and how much I have lost. I would have preferred to just have them notice that I'd lost weight. Instead now I feel that everyone's watching me, waiting to see how I do. Also, there was a lot of publicity recently about the GBS due to some deaths at a local hospital. I really didn't want to hear about how dangerous it was. I was very aware of what I was doing. That's why I limit who I share this personal information with now. > Quick question, for those of us that have had surgery do you ever > feel like not telling people that you had surgery? Do they look at > you like you made a deal with the Devil? Like you couldn't do it on > your own? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 21, 2004 Report Share Posted June 21, 2004 I don't think I have ever felt an ounce of shame or embarrassment about my choice to have surgery. What I DID feel shame and embarrassment about was when I originally gained the 130 lbs 4 years ago. I never would have never opted for surgery had it not rested well with me 100%. I am extremely pleased with the outcome in such a short time. 110 lbs in 8 months 3 weeks. I am one size away from wearing my old jeans. As far as disclosing my surgery to someone? It's my choice. Some I tell and some I don't. I have YET to have any negative comments about my surgery posed to me. It's all about freedom of choice. I don't think negative comments would sit well with me by someone who didnt research the heck out of this like I did for over a year. That's plain ignorance. However,I am sure I will probably encounter someone someday that doesnt support WLS, and that's ok. What is right for me may not be right for the next person. Personally, the comments and questions from co-workers and friends are very supportive. I opened the door for that though. Everyone at work knew I was fighting for this via my insurance company. Everyone knew I was not giving up the fight. I hated being 287lbs. I wanted to see my ankles again and be able to door housework without pain. So when I was approved it was a celebration. As far as sharing this information with a man I was going to date? I would wait until it was the right time for me to share it. Hey, I have been through enough relationships in my life to know that if someone labels you or looks at you with tainted eyes then it is time to move on. I am not wasting anymore of my life hiding. I was a woman before WLS and I am a woman still today. If I am judged on appearance alone, I don't need ya nor do I want ya! Bonnie 287/171/150 > Hey folks, > > Quick question, for those of us that have had surgery do you ever > feel like not telling people that you had surgery? Do they look at > you like you made a deal with the Devil? Like you couldn't do it on > your own? I met a guy and he is really nice and I saw someone from > school and she was like you really lost a lot of weight. I said yeah > but for some reason I was reluctant to say I had surgery does that > make me a bad person? I really don't think I would be where I am if I > hadn't had surgery I would not feel and look as great as I do! All I > can say is that I don't want the guy who just happened to be the bus > driver to know that I had surgery when I bumped into my high school > friend. > > Dawn > > 355/240/160 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 21, 2004 Report Share Posted June 21, 2004 Hello, You are so right it's my business but my best friend went and told anyone that would listen. I was seriously pissed off with her. Now everytime I see someone she told they ask me all types of questions. I'm like look I can't make that decision for you if you want research like I did I even gave a few folks the group address so they can see for themselves. Dawn > Dawn, > > My opinion is that it really isn't anyone's business how you lost weight. > Personally, I have only told a few friends that I am planning on doing it. > They have all been very supportive in my decision to lose weight through > this method. > > If your high school classmates say it as a compliment, say thank you for > noticing. If they asked for more details, just say... what does it matter. > I am fit and healthy. > > Does it make you a bad person? Of course not! It makes you smart because > you've done something to make yourself healthy. > > Eileen > > Are you ashamed??? > > > Hey folks, > > Quick question, for those of us that have had surgery do you ever > feel like not telling people that you had surgery? Do they look at > you like you made a deal with the Devil? Like you couldn't do it on > your own? I met a guy and he is really nice and I saw someone from > school and she was like you really lost a lot of weight. I said yeah > but for some reason I was reluctant to say I had surgery does that > make me a bad person? I really don't think I would be where I am if I > hadn't had surgery I would not feel and look as great as I do! All I > can say is that I don't want the guy who just happened to be the bus > driver to know that I had surgery when I bumped into my high school > friend. > > Dawn > > 355/240/160 > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 21, 2004 Report Share Posted June 21, 2004 Ray your the best and congrats on the towel action. LOL I know the small things is what matters! Mine was I recently went to Texas and for the first time since I've been flying I actually had room to pull back the seat belt. Not asking for an extension was the best feeling in the world. Like you too whenever I see someone morbidly obese I want to say it doesn't have to be this way. Just like I had to come to the conclusion on my own so will they. Dawn > > Hey folks, > > > > Quick question, for those of us that have had surgery do you ever > > feel like not telling people that you had surgery? Do they look at > > you like you made a deal with the Devil? Like you couldn't do it on > > your own? I met a guy and he is really nice and I saw someone from > > school and she was like you really lost a lot of weight. I said > yeah > > but for some reason I was reluctant to say I had surgery does that > > make me a bad person? I really don't think I would be where I am if > I > > hadn't had surgery I would not feel and look as great as I do! All > I > > can say is that I don't want the guy who just happened to be the > bus > > driver to know that I had surgery when I bumped into my high school > > friend. > > > > Dawn > > > > 355/240/160 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 22, 2004 Report Share Posted June 22, 2004 Then there's a lesson learned. Think twice before telling your best friend something or don't tell her anything you wouldn't want others to know. I have someone at work like that. You tell her something and 25 people walk up to you and say, just I am sorry to hear... So now I keep my inner thoughts and personal issues to myself. Are you ashamed??? > > > Hey folks, > > Quick question, for those of us that have had surgery do you ever > feel like not telling people that you had surgery? Do they look at > you like you made a deal with the Devil? Like you couldn't do it on > your own? I met a guy and he is really nice and I saw someone from > school and she was like you really lost a lot of weight. I said yeah > but for some reason I was reluctant to say I had surgery does that > make me a bad person? I really don't think I would be where I am if I > hadn't had surgery I would not feel and look as great as I do! All I > can say is that I don't want the guy who just happened to be the bus > driver to know that I had surgery when I bumped into my high school > friend. > > Dawn > > 355/240/160 > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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