Re: nada in hospice

[Guest guest]

(((((((MY))))))))

I can imagine how torn you feel about going, but I think it is kind of you to go

for your brother's sake. Maybe he needs you there more than your nada. I have

a similar dread of getting " that call " from my Sister, telling me that I need to

come if I want to see nada again before she dies. And I will have complicated

and mixed feelings when nada passes, because, as Doug pointed out, having a nada

is a very complicated relationship.

I wish you the best and I hope the visit is peaceful for you and

that you get some benefit like emotional closure out of it.

-Annie

>

> I just found out today that nada was put on hospice by her doctor who is

> extremely optimistic and always says/thinks that there is always something

> else to try. (She has cancer among other things.) My brother, whose

> judgement I do trust, does not think that she will make it too much longer

> and says that she is very frail and often confused. It surprised me how

> sad/emotional I was after hearing this. It surprises me that as much as she

> plagues me that I had such an emotional reaction to the fact that she is

> likely dying.

>

> I/We have been waiting more than 4 years and have thought she was going to

> die many different times. (One physician has said that she really does seem

> to have 9 lives.) However, she has really deteriorated more rapidly since

> last March and has been less and less awake and coherent recently. Her death

> is likely not immediately imminent, but it seems unlikely that she will

> rally again and seems more likely that she will continue to decline...though

> obviously no one knows how long she may hang on.

>

> My brother has asked me to come for a few days - something he has never

> asked before. My husband and I will likely go for one night/two days later

> this week without our kids. I've been in contact with my mom (though it has

> been more limited this past year), but I have intentionally not gone to her

> town (300 miles away) when she has been sick or in the hospital, but this

> time I would like to go - for my sake and for my brother's sake. I don't

> feel like I need or want to see her before she dies, but in part because my

> brother asked me to (which is so unusual for him) and because my mom has

> seemed to drift in recent months into this relatively harmless sleepy state

> - I'd like to go now and I hopefully can handle going now. (Sometimes when

> her physical health has declined, so has her mental health... and that I can

> not handle.) I don't want to go by myself though and am grateful that my

> husband is more than willing to go with me and that there are friends where

> we live that will take care of our kids.

>

> I don't really have a question nor am I asking for advice. I just know many

> others here have been down this road before me and you all really do " get

> it " for which I am so grateful.

>

> MY

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

(((((((MY))))))))

I can imagine how torn you feel about going, but I think it is kind of you to go

for your brother's sake. Maybe he needs you there more than your nada. I have

a similar dread of getting " that call " from my Sister, telling me that I need to

come if I want to see nada again before she dies. And I will have complicated

and mixed feelings when nada passes, because, as Doug pointed out, having a nada

is a very complicated relationship.

I wish you the best and I hope the visit is peaceful for you and

that you get some benefit like emotional closure out of it.

-Annie

>

> I just found out today that nada was put on hospice by her doctor who is

> extremely optimistic and always says/thinks that there is always something

> else to try. (She has cancer among other things.) My brother, whose

> judgement I do trust, does not think that she will make it too much longer

> and says that she is very frail and often confused. It surprised me how

> sad/emotional I was after hearing this. It surprises me that as much as she

> plagues me that I had such an emotional reaction to the fact that she is

> likely dying.

>

> I/We have been waiting more than 4 years and have thought she was going to

> die many different times. (One physician has said that she really does seem

> to have 9 lives.) However, she has really deteriorated more rapidly since

> last March and has been less and less awake and coherent recently. Her death

> is likely not immediately imminent, but it seems unlikely that she will

> rally again and seems more likely that she will continue to decline...though

> obviously no one knows how long she may hang on.

>

> My brother has asked me to come for a few days - something he has never

> asked before. My husband and I will likely go for one night/two days later

> this week without our kids. I've been in contact with my mom (though it has

> been more limited this past year), but I have intentionally not gone to her

> town (300 miles away) when she has been sick or in the hospital, but this

> time I would like to go - for my sake and for my brother's sake. I don't

> feel like I need or want to see her before she dies, but in part because my

> brother asked me to (which is so unusual for him) and because my mom has

> seemed to drift in recent months into this relatively harmless sleepy state

> - I'd like to go now and I hopefully can handle going now. (Sometimes when

> her physical health has declined, so has her mental health... and that I can

> not handle.) I don't want to go by myself though and am grateful that my

> husband is more than willing to go with me and that there are friends where

> we live that will take care of our kids.

>

> I don't really have a question nor am I asking for advice. I just know many

> others here have been down this road before me and you all really do " get

> it " for which I am so grateful.

>

> MY

>

>

>