the 5 year old. inside....

[Guest guest]

Someone- I think it was Girlscout who said dealing with nada is like dealing

with a 5 year old- Amen to that statement!.

My mother is being a real a-hole about so many things- and it is because this

bratty- insecure and selfish 5 year old in the body of a 74 year old is not

getting the attention or things that she once.

She is upset because my daughter took her boyfriend to my mother inlaws for

picnic yesterday. My parents used to be invited to these picnics- and when my

husband and I started having martial problems a few years back- my mother was

thrilled. She wanted me to so divorce my husband- my mother inlaw never totally

knew what was up with my husband and I- so she continued to invite my parents

and they started refusing to come. In reality that is something they hoped would

happen- and my mother told me that and how much she hated my mother inlaw.

So my parents could have been there yesterday- had they not taken such a

stand about their disapproval of my husband and his family. Nada can't

understand why my daughter was so willing to bring her b-friend to my mother

inlaws- and not her house- HELLO- my mother inlaw acts normal. I made fried

chicken for my mother inlaw's picnic yesterday- and nada's response- I haven't

tasted your fried chicken in a long time. OMG-!!

The kicker is I am having a picnic today- inviting my parents- my mother

inlaw- daughter, her boyfriend- and other relatives from both sides of the

family. Sometimes my daughter's bfriend comes and sometimes he doesn't to my

gatherings either way - I am fine with that- he is a family too.

I invited my nada's sister- who does have her own set of issues- and this

aunt and I are getting closer again. Nada was on the phone today telling me how

evil this aunt is and how she has hurt her in the past and still today. She

doesn't understand how I can want to be with her. My aunt is a widower her-

whose grown sons are not around- and I know my aunt is lonely- but nada doesn't

want me to have a relationship with this woman- so I said nothing to nada's

comments. She pissed her off and then she was done talking- because I refused to

agree with her. the picnic today on nada's end will be pure tension and making

her point and anger known- to my daughter and I.

The 5 year old inside of nada will be there today- having her temper

tantrum.. And life goes on...

Thanks for letting me vent,

Malinda

[Guest guest]

> I invited my nada's sister- who does have her own set of issues- and

this aunt and I are getting closer again. Nada was on the phone today telling me

how evil this aunt is and how she has hurt her in the past and still today. She

doesn't understand how I can want to be with her. My aunt is a widower her-

whose grown sons are not around- and I know my aunt is lonely- but nada doesn't

want me to have a relationship with this woman- so I said nothing to nada's

comments.

Malinda, please be careful in getting closer to your aunt. I say this not as

your nada's flying monkey (LOL), but because during the time that I was NC with

my nada I became closer to my aunt than I'd been in my whole life. She had

always appeared to me to be the more adult saner sister and in hindsight I was

longing still for a mother figure and she has no children. Turns out she was

only better than my nada when she wasn't close to me - she has turned out to be

equally as dangerous to my emotional well-being with a different MO. And once

you've become close and let them in it's not so easy to back out. And boom,

you've got two nadas instead of one. I'm not saying this is how your situation

will go down, it may be different in many important ways but felt you should

know my story as a cautionary tale.

If a nada's mental illlness is caused by genetics or environment there's a very

real chance that a sibling, particularly a sister may have been affected in the

same way. I'm sure there are exceptions out there - I hope there are! But it

just seems a cruel trick of nature that it is natural to try to bond with

whatever other family you have left that appears sane, but the probability is

real that they may be unsafe at any speed also.

[Guest guest]

I agree here. I also have an aunt that I always thought was well grounded

and sane. I thought she was on my side so to speak. After the last blow up

with nada she became just like nada. I have posted the story before but

will again if you need me to.

[Guest guest]

I agree here. I also have an aunt that I always thought was well grounded

and sane. I thought she was on my side so to speak. After the last blow up

with nada she became just like nada. I have posted the story before but

will again if you need me to.

[Guest guest]

I agree here. I also have an aunt that I always thought was well grounded

and sane. I thought she was on my side so to speak. After the last blow up

with nada she became just like nada. I have posted the story before but

will again if you need me to.