Guest guest Posted December 31, 2001 Report Share Posted December 31, 2001 Karyn: Ed and I read the story in The NY Times the other day. We never thought about the ramifications of the situation with respect to his patients with legitimate needs for pain relief. What a horror! -E Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 31, 2001 Report Share Posted December 31, 2001 Dear Karyn, For what it's worth, these are still only accusations, and he DOES live in a country where he is innocent until proven guilty. At this point, from the article, I don't think we are able to discern the facts about his knowledge, intent, or degree of illegal activity. There are charges, but I'd surely like to hear his response, and know a lot more about where this leads and most importantly, the outcome resolved from more thoroughly investigated and court-proven fact. I can only suggest perhaps exercising some caution and reservation of judgment until a good deal more is discovered or proven. Obviously you cared (care) for this physician, trusted him and depended on him a great deal. When I read your post my stomach did a couple flip-flops too, so I realize that I can't even imagine the level of your own fear, frustration, anger and upheaval right now. I can relate, though on a smaller scale, and to some degree I can understand. I sought out, with a great deal of effort and hard work, a pain management center and doctor a few months ago, and was elated when it appeared that I had finally found a situation that was going to work properly regarding pain management. Aside from adequate pain control with medication, I was also excited about what the plan offered with physical therapy, various alternative options (medication, biofeedback, etc.), psychiatric assistance with regard to drug management, physical history, planning for the future; working with my GI, surgeon and PCP in the NOW, etc... Sort of a clearing house for all sorts of things actually, which not only gave me hope but also cleared the path for the insurance company, my own mental health and security, etc. For the first time in many months, I felt a huge burden lifted and was able to let out a great (proverbial and literal) sigh. I met with that doctor twice, and her recommended psychiatrist once. The doctor herself, I soon discovered, had two very distinct personalities... One for patients behind closed doors, and one for all other parties. She prescribed for me what she thought would be appropriate (she took me off of OxyContin 40x2 twice daily and put me on a megadose of morphine and methadone). I was very concerned, because I quickly became little more than a zombie with managable pain. Useless, confused, and practically unintelligible. I made an emergency appointment soon thereafter and took my best friend and sponsor with me to act on my behalf, as I knew I had no defense against her in this condition. She quickly made it appear that I was abusing multiple Rx's, taking more than prescribed, etc. Fortunately, I carry my Rx history with me to all appointments with physicians, and the truth was right there before her in black and white, but still she insisted that I was trying to manipulating her, blah blah blah. She turned out to be an incredible liar, and her behavior toward her patient (ME, damnit!) was incredibly reprehensible... and this is only the tip of the iceberg. Regardless, she insisted that I come back in the next week but that I come " by myself " , or that all medications would be stopped as of that day, she would call my pharmacist, PCP, etc... What a nasty woman. I had long since stopped taking the morphine and methadone, told her to call anybody that she wanted to call, and that not only would I not be coming in to see her the next week but that I'd not be coming in to see her ever again, and that a letter describing the entire relationship history had already been sent to the director of the program, my GI, PCP and the AMA. Apparently she already had a file with them, but I still don't know (or really care at this point) where any of that stands. I'll do anything that they ask of me, if they do, but for my own sake I've since done my best to move on. Unfortunately, I'm still shopping for a good PM program... but how do you know?? She was with a reccommended program at one of our leading hospitals! Good apples and bad apples wherever one goes. Anyway, I'm sorry to go on so. The point of all that is to say that I can sympathize with the feeling of " betrayal " from a pain management physician who, for those of us in the position that we are in, really has us by the proverbial " balls. " It's a horrible, gut-wrenching feeling, and I was left with despair, fear and a feeling like I was left out dangling in the wind with no security, no place to call home and no safety net whatsoever. I was incredibly angry. But, Karyn, as you know, underneath everything, was the fear. Fear. And most of it around pain control. Definitely one of the biggest dragons facing us. I still have not found another pain management group, my COBRA insurance runs out at the end of February, and I have no idea what happens after that. I've been denied by a couple different insurance companies, been told that the " High Risk " state pool is my best option, and don't have any idea how I could afford that possibility, with monthly premiums from $200 ($5,000 deductible) to $600 ($500 deductible)… Now who the hell can afford that? A sick, unemployed, low-to-no-income 37 year old who has exhausted all resources and assets? Hmm… No, I don't think so... At least not THIS one!! Hopefully Medicaid will take me on, I'm just trying to figure out now how to demonstrate that I have no income. I can't get anybody to understand via phone that I DON'T HAVE anybody sending me monthly notices saying " HEY! YOU are not employed, and WE are not sending you ANY MONEY, so here is your proof, dated and notarized! " Hahaha... Nobody gets that. Do you all know something that I don't, and have some number to a secret organization sending you those types of monthly notices?? Anyway, Karyn, I'm sorry to use your drama as an opportunity to vent about mine. Underneath all of it, I DO try to remind myself of that which you don't really care to hear right now. " It WILL be okay. Somehow, it will be fine. " It always is, somehow I've always managed to be okay. I'm still breathing and walking and moving, and I'm not on the street yet, and since I don't ever seem to want anything to eat anyway, I guess I don't have to worry about going hungry!! And though I've never met you and don't really know you, I'm guessing that chances are you'll be okay too. I'll certainly continue to pray for you, and the other folks here, just in case. <g> Please be well and along from the prayers, I wish you good luck as well. Peace and Love, Terry in KC' << I have been torn as to sharing my current physician situation. The entire thing has been beyond my belief. Some of you may have heard. >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 31, 2001 Report Share Posted December 31, 2001 Dear Karyn, For what it's worth, these are still only accusations, and he DOES live in a country where he is innocent until proven guilty. At this point, from the article, I don't think we are able to discern the facts about his knowledge, intent, or degree of illegal activity. There are charges, but I'd surely like to hear his response, and know a lot more about where this leads and most importantly, the outcome resolved from more thoroughly investigated and court-proven fact. I can only suggest perhaps exercising some caution and reservation of judgment until a good deal more is discovered or proven. Obviously you cared (care) for this physician, trusted him and depended on him a great deal. When I read your post my stomach did a couple flip-flops too, so I realize that I can't even imagine the level of your own fear, frustration, anger and upheaval right now. I can relate, though on a smaller scale, and to some degree I can understand. I sought out, with a great deal of effort and hard work, a pain management center and doctor a few months ago, and was elated when it appeared that I had finally found a situation that was going to work properly regarding pain management. Aside from adequate pain control with medication, I was also excited about what the plan offered with physical therapy, various alternative options (medication, biofeedback, etc.), psychiatric assistance with regard to drug management, physical history, planning for the future; working with my GI, surgeon and PCP in the NOW, etc... Sort of a clearing house for all sorts of things actually, which not only gave me hope but also cleared the path for the insurance company, my own mental health and security, etc. For the first time in many months, I felt a huge burden lifted and was able to let out a great (proverbial and literal) sigh. I met with that doctor twice, and her recommended psychiatrist once. The doctor herself, I soon discovered, had two very distinct personalities... One for patients behind closed doors, and one for all other parties. She prescribed for me what she thought would be appropriate (she took me off of OxyContin 40x2 twice daily and put me on a megadose of morphine and methadone). I was very concerned, because I quickly became little more than a zombie with managable pain. Useless, confused, and practically unintelligible. I made an emergency appointment soon thereafter and took my best friend and sponsor with me to act on my behalf, as I knew I had no defense against her in this condition. She quickly made it appear that I was abusing multiple Rx's, taking more than prescribed, etc. Fortunately, I carry my Rx history with me to all appointments with physicians, and the truth was right there before her in black and white, but still she insisted that I was trying to manipulating her, blah blah blah. She turned out to be an incredible liar, and her behavior toward her patient (ME, damnit!) was incredibly reprehensible... and this is only the tip of the iceberg. Regardless, she insisted that I come back in the next week but that I come " by myself " , or that all medications would be stopped as of that day, she would call my pharmacist, PCP, etc... What a nasty woman. I had long since stopped taking the morphine and methadone, told her to call anybody that she wanted to call, and that not only would I not be coming in to see her the next week but that I'd not be coming in to see her ever again, and that a letter describing the entire relationship history had already been sent to the director of the program, my GI, PCP and the AMA. Apparently she already had a file with them, but I still don't know (or really care at this point) where any of that stands. I'll do anything that they ask of me, if they do, but for my own sake I've since done my best to move on. Unfortunately, I'm still shopping for a good PM program... but how do you know?? She was with a reccommended program at one of our leading hospitals! Good apples and bad apples wherever one goes. Anyway, I'm sorry to go on so. The point of all that is to say that I can sympathize with the feeling of " betrayal " from a pain management physician who, for those of us in the position that we are in, really has us by the proverbial " balls. " It's a horrible, gut-wrenching feeling, and I was left with despair, fear and a feeling like I was left out dangling in the wind with no security, no place to call home and no safety net whatsoever. I was incredibly angry. But, Karyn, as you know, underneath everything, was the fear. Fear. And most of it around pain control. Definitely one of the biggest dragons facing us. I still have not found another pain management group, my COBRA insurance runs out at the end of February, and I have no idea what happens after that. I've been denied by a couple different insurance companies, been told that the " High Risk " state pool is my best option, and don't have any idea how I could afford that possibility, with monthly premiums from $200 ($5,000 deductible) to $600 ($500 deductible)… Now who the hell can afford that? A sick, unemployed, low-to-no-income 37 year old who has exhausted all resources and assets? Hmm… No, I don't think so... At least not THIS one!! Hopefully Medicaid will take me on, I'm just trying to figure out now how to demonstrate that I have no income. I can't get anybody to understand via phone that I DON'T HAVE anybody sending me monthly notices saying " HEY! YOU are not employed, and WE are not sending you ANY MONEY, so here is your proof, dated and notarized! " Hahaha... Nobody gets that. Do you all know something that I don't, and have some number to a secret organization sending you those types of monthly notices?? Anyway, Karyn, I'm sorry to use your drama as an opportunity to vent about mine. Underneath all of it, I DO try to remind myself of that which you don't really care to hear right now. " It WILL be okay. Somehow, it will be fine. " It always is, somehow I've always managed to be okay. I'm still breathing and walking and moving, and I'm not on the street yet, and since I don't ever seem to want anything to eat anyway, I guess I don't have to worry about going hungry!! And though I've never met you and don't really know you, I'm guessing that chances are you'll be okay too. I'll certainly continue to pray for you, and the other folks here, just in case. <g> Please be well and along from the prayers, I wish you good luck as well. Peace and Love, Terry in KC' << I have been torn as to sharing my current physician situation. The entire thing has been beyond my belief. Some of you may have heard. >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 31, 2001 Report Share Posted December 31, 2001 Egad! I don't have a " stash " other than perhaps just an extra couple of days worth of medication in the bottle, so I never thought about this angle... Leave it to Ponch. Yikes. Good thing to consider. Terry in KC << Also If there is such a think as a personal stash I would think very carefully as to where it might be physically located, somebody might want to search and find one from one of this doctors patients, just for the publicity with this case. >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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