BBQ-Picnic

[Guest guest]

Hey everyone!!!

I made it throught the community/neighborhood BBQ-Annual picnic that

our group sponsored this year. It was kinda nice except for all the

dog fights. I love dogs madly but San Francisco has got some major

issues surrounding their dogs. I treat dogs like 4-legged people not

2-legged, only because the 2-legged type can get paying jobs. The 4-

leggers gotta be waited on.

Anywhoo - we were able to keep the crowds attention (about 25 people)

while we discussed the environmental issues surrounding our

neighborhood - the dirty power plant, the stinky sewage plant and the

toxic shipyard - and we even got our District Supervisor to show up.

I forgot to wear my Panama hat to block the rays but I did wear a

hat. It got kinda windy rather quickly but we all seemed to have fun.

The best part were the cute firemen with their big red truck.

They were all hotties.

My friend a showed up with her daughter, Dakota, who is now

officially 3yrs old and she made a brand new friend, Francesa, who is

4yrs old. So now I might have another contact for a to go hang

with her kid. The mommies are about the same age and have about the

same outlook on life, clueless. (OK, I'll stop being cynical) But

they did seem to get along fine.

So now tomorrow I have another BBQ to go to in Golden Gate Park. This

is my buddy from NY who is a chef and helped open a restaurant near

the PacBell ball park. This time I will wear my Panama hat to keep

out the rays.

******Update on the pain/depression*******

I upped my antidepressants to 22.5mg (1 and 1/2 pills) as of Friday

per shrinks' suggestion. I still needed to take a sleeping pill to be

sure to get at least a solid 6hrs. That still seems to work.

BUT>>>>>>>and this is a big one>>>>>>>>>and it's not mine for

once>>>>>>>ha ha ha>>>>>>> I have been taking the ativan (lorazepam)

which is an anti-anxiety drug more frequently. In fact I use it as a

pain killer. So when my legs hurt I pop a pill. If it gets too bad I

pop another one. It was intially to be used to help me relax so I

could sleep at night. But that's the draw back of being a recovering

alcoholic/addict - you can't give us anything that will alter our

pain index. Even my shrink said that I could take the ativan when I

had pain since I can't really take anything else consistently for it.

He also said that recovering addicts will tend to NOT want to take

anything at all and suffer thru the pain as opposed to taking

something that they could possibly get hooked on very quickly. So

that is my dilemma. But I think I'm doing pretty well so far.

I did rest after the BBQ cuz I really needed it. But that only lasted

for about 1 1/2 hrs. Then my S/O showed up, talked to me about

something,(of course I was sleeping at the time so I don't really

remember)and then left w/the car. So that finally woke me up and I

haven't be back to sleep yet. So the saga continues.

I still feel really bummed out about everything and don't have very

much tolerance for people. I think that was why I ended up sitting by

myself most of the time at the BBQ and eventually taking a total of 3

ativan over the course of the BBQ (which lasted 5 hrs). So I think I

did ok considering I had to be there, sorta. I did know that if

things were really stressing me I would have left in a heartbeat.

I have no problem telling people where to go when I get pisssed off -

actually that becomes the problem at times. I'm not very PC out here

in CA. Still a New Yawker thru and thru - I call it like I see it

each and everytime.

Well now that I have created a short novel for those who can't sleep

tonite....I will end my monologue.

Sleep tight everyone!!!

Melita (who will no go watch digital cable till her eyes close)