having children/ACM

[Guest guest]

Hi people:

I haven't been on e-mail in a long while but have been watching from afar. I

saw some postings about having children and thought I would respond. There

are a few people out there wondering whatever happened to that old chic that

had a baby.

After 16 or so years of not being able to have children with my husband, and

having two children when I was way too young and single, God has the humor

to give us a miracle ;at the ripe ol age of 43 and 48. Many remember all the

problems we went through to have Keturah who is now 2 & 3/4 years old. She is

more than half as tall as I, 38 " and has the mind of an adult and the

strength of Samson.

My comments would be :

1. Depending on your abilities and pain tolerance; if you have a good

support system,faith,people:

I depend on others much during and since pregnancy. I hired caregivers

and have great friends.

We still have someone to accompany me to the store,errands ect...

I was not able to push,52 hours of natural labor,no epidurals/drugs,6

hours of unproductive active pushing

(not recommended under any circumstances) she was delivered with suction

and did not score an apgar at birth

or a few minutes afterwards----- many calls to heaven, life support and

NICU experiences ----all these things from the desire to give my

husband the Birth Experience and many bad decision calls...

Decipher between the risks diagnosis wise (ACM) and others present (

other problems, age ect)...

Be open to any and all information given to you by your doctors( it is

one thing to make decisions for yourself and another for someone

else...You need to go to perinatologists for the best of care and

anticipation

2. Depending on your ability to be unselfish:

You cannot neglect( unintended or intended) the fact of a life long need

for You, the Mom or DAD

due to pain, meds you need to take( I take anti seizure and spinal cord

meds)

Not relating to ability to be the provider, although there must be

contingency plans and ability

somewhere and plans A.B.C...........X.Y.Z.

3. The ability you have to accept what you are choosing for someone else:

ACM runs in my family and I have lost a cousin who was the same age as

I and died the same summer

my daughter was born, She leaving three children and a husband ( all

with no regrets)

I had to make a choice at 20 weeks not to terminate after two postive

amnios for other abnormalities

We must be able to look into their faces and say I don't know why...I

do love you....I know I know...

4. Your spouse(other) has the utmost trust in your marriage(other) and

agrees and understands what may be

the necessary changes that come not only with what happens to you ,

but also the children

Then go for it armed with all the prayer you can get, all the support you

can get and all the gusto and courage you

can muster up and know that days come you may feel sorry for it and another

day you rejoice in it!!!

I wouldn't trade any experiences we have had so far,,,, talk to many....

has had two babies that I know of and she has had many more

complications and surgeries that I have. We have compared the days you find

yourself on the floor laying on a mattress playing and waiting for someone

to come help you because you are having a bad day. There are many times I

spend most of the day on the floor, I wear diapers, my daughter wants to

know why she must be potty trained and I am not,,,,,HAHAHAHA not....

My girl knows everything about surgeries and doctors,blood xrays and she

knows about CPR and being locked in the house,I have the only key to get in

and out of the house besides my care giver,,my littlegirl knows how to open

doors and go to the street,pool, open windows, climb to the roof on the rose

arbor. I never get any sleep,we have monitors and a call system that people

check on me. If there is no answer within a time ;then they get here. My

husband even travels out of the country and we went with him last year, no

window locks in Amsterdam and no screens on any of the windows in any of

the countries we traveled, it is a 24/7/18-21 years job to be a parent.

NCC:

Now that I am back on line( my son is home for an extended stay), I wouldn't

have it without him, Hallelujah!!!I will try to get photos off. It is great

to be in America!!! We were over seas during the 9-11 times and traveling

and being a stranger that sticks out was frightening at times. My 2 year old

doesn't care about guns and we saw lots everywhere, every morning on the way

to get fresh milk. My husband does not want to return to India, we were very

frightened for safety and are glad to be home and the company has halted

travel for a period of time and no travel to Israel any more, or Lebanon. My

friend is out as well now into Egypt and returning soon. We are all so

blessed to live in our wonderful country to believe freely and live so

freely and to go through hard times so freely. To have physical or financial

troubles abroad is very hopeless at times.. It is unimportant in view of all

else going on around you.... Love deeply your families and friends and hope

for not only our country, but for all. Be generous in any way to the

littlest and big things like thoughts for well being for all. We all share

this ball of earth and it is home only to all of us.

Love to Dawn in Colorado,Chip,Judy,Robin,Haydee, in Paradise...........