Guest guest Posted August 25, 2002 Report Share Posted August 25, 2002 Helenmarie, I'm terribly sorry for how devastated you are feeling. I just returned from an out of town trip and will have to read your post in full tomorrow as I'm too fuzzy with a need to sleep tonight. I feel so sad about all you have had to deal with and keeping dealing with. For tonight - for what it's worth - I've reached a point where it's crystal clear to me that I simply want to be a parent. However I have to do that, I intend to. I know that we all have to do what is right for each of us. While it's certainly the longest-held dream I've had to give birth to my genetic child, my dream has changed. I would feel such a tremendous relief if my husband would decide that he too wants - and I mean really " wants " - to pursue adoption. Maybe that day will come. In my mind, this dream is know as big as my dream to bare a child. The two have become almost separate dreams. I'm re-read your post tomorrow as I only did a quick scan tonight. I read that you miss your husband and am now wondering if this means he is on a trip or if you're refering to the challenges these issues add to a marriage? Hang in there. Only you know if you're doing what's right for you and you sound as if you're pretty clearsighted about what your best next steps are. I wish you all the best and will be watching for more posts from you. J. - Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 25, 2002 Report Share Posted August 25, 2002 Helenmarie, I'm terribly sorry for how devastated you are feeling. I just returned from an out of town trip and will have to read your post in full tomorrow as I'm too fuzzy with a need to sleep tonight. I feel so sad about all you have had to deal with and keeping dealing with. For tonight - for what it's worth - I've reached a point where it's crystal clear to me that I simply want to be a parent. However I have to do that, I intend to. I know that we all have to do what is right for each of us. While it's certainly the longest-held dream I've had to give birth to my genetic child, my dream has changed. I would feel such a tremendous relief if my husband would decide that he too wants - and I mean really " wants " - to pursue adoption. Maybe that day will come. In my mind, this dream is know as big as my dream to bare a child. The two have become almost separate dreams. I'm re-read your post tomorrow as I only did a quick scan tonight. I read that you miss your husband and am now wondering if this means he is on a trip or if you're refering to the challenges these issues add to a marriage? Hang in there. Only you know if you're doing what's right for you and you sound as if you're pretty clearsighted about what your best next steps are. I wish you all the best and will be watching for more posts from you. J. - Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 25, 2002 Report Share Posted August 25, 2002 Helenmarie, I'm terribly sorry for how devastated you are feeling. I just returned from an out of town trip and will have to read your post in full tomorrow as I'm too fuzzy with a need to sleep tonight. I feel so sad about all you have had to deal with and keeping dealing with. For tonight - for what it's worth - I've reached a point where it's crystal clear to me that I simply want to be a parent. However I have to do that, I intend to. I know that we all have to do what is right for each of us. While it's certainly the longest-held dream I've had to give birth to my genetic child, my dream has changed. I would feel such a tremendous relief if my husband would decide that he too wants - and I mean really " wants " - to pursue adoption. Maybe that day will come. In my mind, this dream is know as big as my dream to bare a child. The two have become almost separate dreams. I'm re-read your post tomorrow as I only did a quick scan tonight. I read that you miss your husband and am now wondering if this means he is on a trip or if you're refering to the challenges these issues add to a marriage? Hang in there. Only you know if you're doing what's right for you and you sound as if you're pretty clearsighted about what your best next steps are. I wish you all the best and will be watching for more posts from you. J. - Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 25, 2002 Report Share Posted August 25, 2002 (((((Helenmarie))))) I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I know how hard it is to find a Dr. who is caring and compassionate and understands your feelings. I ran into so much disrespect from my original ob (the one who performed my D & C) He didn't even want to listen to me. He was so arrogant and all he ever told me was " don't worry " . I don't think he could believe a patient would know more than he would. Well, I did. I knew I had AS even when he kept insisting it was hormonal. I don't know. Drs have a hard time with patients who question their techniques. Not all Drs, though. I hope you can continue with your current RE, because I also know how draining it can be to move on and try to gain trust from another Dr. Whatever you decide to do, trust your instincts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 25, 2002 Report Share Posted August 25, 2002 Thanks again for the words of support. I'm feeling better today - I went out and got myself some paperbacks and chocolate and flowers. I'm very grateful for having this group to talk to and I hope that I'm not wearing out my welcome. This doctor isn't an A list doctor, but he has spoken knowledgably of all the treatments discussed here and we have tried them all, and I have gotten benefit from them. He's worked very hard on me, and I think he was acting mean because of being disappointed himself that I haven't gotten pregnant with 2 rounds of fertility drugs (despite the long odds) and because of having a hard time himself setting a limit. Knowing me, I will let this doctor know he hurt my feelings and resolve it with him a he is a good guy 99% of the time. I've never been real keen on the drugs, but did them because 3 different doctors said I should. While doing them, I put my heart into it as anything is more likely to work if you believe in it, and I will do one more cycle and hope for the best. But, I think my doctor is right, although unduly harsh with me. I picked him because he is thoughtful and conservative in contrast to the doctors I saw initially who appeared willing to give fertility drugs to a dead dog if it had insurance. There is an increasing sentiment in the fertility field that it is inappropriate to give older women fertility drugs without checking their ovarian reserve and that it is inappropriate to give them more then 3 cycles. The reasoning behind this is that the likelihood of success is so remote if you flunk the ovarian reserve tests and/or are not pregnant in 3 cycles, that to continue to give these expensive treatments is taking unfair advantage of women's feelings. I think they are right about that. And if I change my mind I know who I might contact for that type of treatment. However, my gut says that what my body needs is supportive, loving care and not these incredibly stressful fertility drugs. I have been thinking about a consult with Dr. Palter as he isn't that far away, but I'm really not sure he has anything to offer over what I've had already. But as I go through this next fertility cycle, I'm going to ask for copies of my uterine ultrasounds as they do them. I have copies already of most of my lab results and I can request the X-rays easily enough. If I did want to consult Dr. Palter, how have others in this group gone about it? I'm a little hesitant to have my doctors contact him as that might bias his opinion from the get-go. Does anyone know, is he open to people just calling his office or emailing him to set up an appointment? Helenmarie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 25, 2002 Report Share Posted August 25, 2002 Thanks again for the words of support. I'm feeling better today - I went out and got myself some paperbacks and chocolate and flowers. I'm very grateful for having this group to talk to and I hope that I'm not wearing out my welcome. This doctor isn't an A list doctor, but he has spoken knowledgably of all the treatments discussed here and we have tried them all, and I have gotten benefit from them. He's worked very hard on me, and I think he was acting mean because of being disappointed himself that I haven't gotten pregnant with 2 rounds of fertility drugs (despite the long odds) and because of having a hard time himself setting a limit. Knowing me, I will let this doctor know he hurt my feelings and resolve it with him a he is a good guy 99% of the time. I've never been real keen on the drugs, but did them because 3 different doctors said I should. While doing them, I put my heart into it as anything is more likely to work if you believe in it, and I will do one more cycle and hope for the best. But, I think my doctor is right, although unduly harsh with me. I picked him because he is thoughtful and conservative in contrast to the doctors I saw initially who appeared willing to give fertility drugs to a dead dog if it had insurance. There is an increasing sentiment in the fertility field that it is inappropriate to give older women fertility drugs without checking their ovarian reserve and that it is inappropriate to give them more then 3 cycles. The reasoning behind this is that the likelihood of success is so remote if you flunk the ovarian reserve tests and/or are not pregnant in 3 cycles, that to continue to give these expensive treatments is taking unfair advantage of women's feelings. I think they are right about that. And if I change my mind I know who I might contact for that type of treatment. However, my gut says that what my body needs is supportive, loving care and not these incredibly stressful fertility drugs. I have been thinking about a consult with Dr. Palter as he isn't that far away, but I'm really not sure he has anything to offer over what I've had already. But as I go through this next fertility cycle, I'm going to ask for copies of my uterine ultrasounds as they do them. I have copies already of most of my lab results and I can request the X-rays easily enough. If I did want to consult Dr. Palter, how have others in this group gone about it? I'm a little hesitant to have my doctors contact him as that might bias his opinion from the get-go. Does anyone know, is he open to people just calling his office or emailing him to set up an appointment? Helenmarie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 25, 2002 Report Share Posted August 25, 2002 Thanks again for the words of support. I'm feeling better today - I went out and got myself some paperbacks and chocolate and flowers. I'm very grateful for having this group to talk to and I hope that I'm not wearing out my welcome. This doctor isn't an A list doctor, but he has spoken knowledgably of all the treatments discussed here and we have tried them all, and I have gotten benefit from them. He's worked very hard on me, and I think he was acting mean because of being disappointed himself that I haven't gotten pregnant with 2 rounds of fertility drugs (despite the long odds) and because of having a hard time himself setting a limit. Knowing me, I will let this doctor know he hurt my feelings and resolve it with him a he is a good guy 99% of the time. I've never been real keen on the drugs, but did them because 3 different doctors said I should. While doing them, I put my heart into it as anything is more likely to work if you believe in it, and I will do one more cycle and hope for the best. But, I think my doctor is right, although unduly harsh with me. I picked him because he is thoughtful and conservative in contrast to the doctors I saw initially who appeared willing to give fertility drugs to a dead dog if it had insurance. There is an increasing sentiment in the fertility field that it is inappropriate to give older women fertility drugs without checking their ovarian reserve and that it is inappropriate to give them more then 3 cycles. The reasoning behind this is that the likelihood of success is so remote if you flunk the ovarian reserve tests and/or are not pregnant in 3 cycles, that to continue to give these expensive treatments is taking unfair advantage of women's feelings. I think they are right about that. And if I change my mind I know who I might contact for that type of treatment. However, my gut says that what my body needs is supportive, loving care and not these incredibly stressful fertility drugs. I have been thinking about a consult with Dr. Palter as he isn't that far away, but I'm really not sure he has anything to offer over what I've had already. But as I go through this next fertility cycle, I'm going to ask for copies of my uterine ultrasounds as they do them. I have copies already of most of my lab results and I can request the X-rays easily enough. If I did want to consult Dr. Palter, how have others in this group gone about it? I'm a little hesitant to have my doctors contact him as that might bias his opinion from the get-go. Does anyone know, is he open to people just calling his office or emailing him to set up an appointment? Helenmarie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 25, 2002 Report Share Posted August 25, 2002 Hello Helenmarie You can just call Dr. Palter's office and make an appointment yourself, here is his number . What you did for yourself was great. Sometime we just need to pamper ourselves a little. I will be praying that your next round works. Good luck, Audrey -- In Ashermans@y..., " helenmarie11 " <helenmarie11@h...> wrote: > Thanks again for the words of support. I'm feeling better today - I > went out and got myself some paperbacks and chocolate and flowers. > I'm very grateful for having this group to talk to and I hope that > I'm not wearing out my welcome. > > This doctor isn't an A list doctor, but he has spoken knowledgably > of all the treatments discussed here and we have tried them all, and > I have gotten benefit from them. He's worked very hard on me, and I > think he was acting mean because of being disappointed himself that > I haven't gotten pregnant with 2 rounds of fertility drugs (despite > the long odds) and because of having a hard time himself setting a > limit. Knowing me, I will let this doctor know he hurt my feelings > and resolve it with him a he is a good guy 99% of the time. > > I've never been real keen on the drugs, but did them because 3 > different doctors said I should. While doing them, I put my heart > into it as anything is more likely to work if you believe in it, and > I will do one more cycle and hope for the best. > > But, I think my doctor is right, although unduly harsh with me. I > picked him because he is thoughtful and conservative in contrast to > the doctors I saw initially who appeared willing to give fertility > drugs to a dead dog if it had insurance. There is an increasing > sentiment in the fertility field that it is inappropriate to give > older women fertility drugs without checking their ovarian reserve > and that it is inappropriate to give them more then 3 cycles. The > reasoning behind this is that the likelihood of success is so remote > if you flunk the ovarian reserve tests and/or are not pregnant in 3 > cycles, that to continue to give these expensive treatments is > taking unfair advantage of women's feelings. I think they are right > about that. And if I change my mind I know who I might contact for > that type of treatment. However, my gut says that what my body > needs is supportive, loving care and not these incredibly stressful > fertility drugs. > > I have been thinking about a consult with Dr. Palter as he isn't > that far away, but I'm really not sure he has anything to offer over > what I've had already. But as I go through this next fertility > cycle, I'm going to ask for copies of my uterine ultrasounds as they > do them. I have copies already of most of my lab results and I can > request the X-rays easily enough. > > If I did want to consult Dr. Palter, how have others in this group > gone about it? I'm a little hesitant to have my doctors contact him > as that might bias his opinion from the get-go. Does anyone know, > is he open to people just calling his office or emailing him to set > up an appointment? > > Helenmarie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 25, 2002 Report Share Posted August 25, 2002 Hello Helenmarie You can just call Dr. Palter's office and make an appointment yourself, here is his number . What you did for yourself was great. Sometime we just need to pamper ourselves a little. I will be praying that your next round works. Good luck, Audrey -- In Ashermans@y..., " helenmarie11 " <helenmarie11@h...> wrote: > Thanks again for the words of support. I'm feeling better today - I > went out and got myself some paperbacks and chocolate and flowers. > I'm very grateful for having this group to talk to and I hope that > I'm not wearing out my welcome. > > This doctor isn't an A list doctor, but he has spoken knowledgably > of all the treatments discussed here and we have tried them all, and > I have gotten benefit from them. He's worked very hard on me, and I > think he was acting mean because of being disappointed himself that > I haven't gotten pregnant with 2 rounds of fertility drugs (despite > the long odds) and because of having a hard time himself setting a > limit. Knowing me, I will let this doctor know he hurt my feelings > and resolve it with him a he is a good guy 99% of the time. > > I've never been real keen on the drugs, but did them because 3 > different doctors said I should. While doing them, I put my heart > into it as anything is more likely to work if you believe in it, and > I will do one more cycle and hope for the best. > > But, I think my doctor is right, although unduly harsh with me. I > picked him because he is thoughtful and conservative in contrast to > the doctors I saw initially who appeared willing to give fertility > drugs to a dead dog if it had insurance. There is an increasing > sentiment in the fertility field that it is inappropriate to give > older women fertility drugs without checking their ovarian reserve > and that it is inappropriate to give them more then 3 cycles. The > reasoning behind this is that the likelihood of success is so remote > if you flunk the ovarian reserve tests and/or are not pregnant in 3 > cycles, that to continue to give these expensive treatments is > taking unfair advantage of women's feelings. I think they are right > about that. And if I change my mind I know who I might contact for > that type of treatment. However, my gut says that what my body > needs is supportive, loving care and not these incredibly stressful > fertility drugs. > > I have been thinking about a consult with Dr. Palter as he isn't > that far away, but I'm really not sure he has anything to offer over > what I've had already. But as I go through this next fertility > cycle, I'm going to ask for copies of my uterine ultrasounds as they > do them. I have copies already of most of my lab results and I can > request the X-rays easily enough. > > If I did want to consult Dr. Palter, how have others in this group > gone about it? I'm a little hesitant to have my doctors contact him > as that might bias his opinion from the get-go. Does anyone know, > is he open to people just calling his office or emailing him to set > up an appointment? > > Helenmarie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 25, 2002 Report Share Posted August 25, 2002 Hello Helenmarie You can just call Dr. Palter's office and make an appointment yourself, here is his number . What you did for yourself was great. Sometime we just need to pamper ourselves a little. I will be praying that your next round works. Good luck, Audrey -- In Ashermans@y..., " helenmarie11 " <helenmarie11@h...> wrote: > Thanks again for the words of support. I'm feeling better today - I > went out and got myself some paperbacks and chocolate and flowers. > I'm very grateful for having this group to talk to and I hope that > I'm not wearing out my welcome. > > This doctor isn't an A list doctor, but he has spoken knowledgably > of all the treatments discussed here and we have tried them all, and > I have gotten benefit from them. He's worked very hard on me, and I > think he was acting mean because of being disappointed himself that > I haven't gotten pregnant with 2 rounds of fertility drugs (despite > the long odds) and because of having a hard time himself setting a > limit. Knowing me, I will let this doctor know he hurt my feelings > and resolve it with him a he is a good guy 99% of the time. > > I've never been real keen on the drugs, but did them because 3 > different doctors said I should. While doing them, I put my heart > into it as anything is more likely to work if you believe in it, and > I will do one more cycle and hope for the best. > > But, I think my doctor is right, although unduly harsh with me. I > picked him because he is thoughtful and conservative in contrast to > the doctors I saw initially who appeared willing to give fertility > drugs to a dead dog if it had insurance. There is an increasing > sentiment in the fertility field that it is inappropriate to give > older women fertility drugs without checking their ovarian reserve > and that it is inappropriate to give them more then 3 cycles. The > reasoning behind this is that the likelihood of success is so remote > if you flunk the ovarian reserve tests and/or are not pregnant in 3 > cycles, that to continue to give these expensive treatments is > taking unfair advantage of women's feelings. I think they are right > about that. And if I change my mind I know who I might contact for > that type of treatment. However, my gut says that what my body > needs is supportive, loving care and not these incredibly stressful > fertility drugs. > > I have been thinking about a consult with Dr. Palter as he isn't > that far away, but I'm really not sure he has anything to offer over > what I've had already. But as I go through this next fertility > cycle, I'm going to ask for copies of my uterine ultrasounds as they > do them. I have copies already of most of my lab results and I can > request the X-rays easily enough. > > If I did want to consult Dr. Palter, how have others in this group > gone about it? I'm a little hesitant to have my doctors contact him > as that might bias his opinion from the get-go. Does anyone know, > is he open to people just calling his office or emailing him to set > up an appointment? > > Helenmarie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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