Guest guest Posted June 3, 2005 Report Share Posted June 3, 2005 Pepper, congratulations on weighing in with a turtle this week! Heck, a stay at the hospital and an IV bag/drip is usually good for a couple pound gain. You did good to stay the same! :-) Don't worry about the lack of exercise this past week. Just do what you can when your doctor gives you the go-ahead. hugs, janet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 4, 2005 Report Share Posted June 4, 2005 I was shocked!!! I just knew I would have a gain. You know I am finding out there are different kinds of depressions and anger. I have always stated I am not an emotional eater that when I am angry or depressed I can not eat......Well I am going to have to change that statement a bit. IF I am depressed over a family member dying, seriously ill, losing of a pet, or any other depression that stems from saddness then I have no appettite. If someone makes me mad or hurts me I lose my appettite and will not eat. BUT....I found out if I am mad at myself or depressed because of my own accord I can and will eat!!! LOL Its not really a laughing matter, BUT, when I got out of the hospital Friday and went home I was angry at the world. I mean this was the 2nd attack in less than a year. So now this was just one more thing to worry about. So Saturday I ate all day. I was depressed and angry at life. I just did not care. Then come Sunday we went over my friend's house to celebrate her son's graduation. Ok I just got out of the hospital and with heart problems BUT yet I ate and ate and put salt on everything. I ate fried foods, breads with butter, and one of my weakness deserts was there and I ate a half of a coconut cream pie. All the while I was eating I was thinking I don't care anymore. I got all these health issues and now a new one on top of them and I just did not care. I think small part of me was hoping that it would do me in. I was feeling like I had no furture anyways. We stayed the night over at my friend's because we had rode the bike over there and it came a horrible storm so we could not leave. I mean we could have, because they would have taken us home IF we really wnated to go, BUT, I guess my husband knew I needed company so we just stayed the night. Anyways Amy and I had a long talk and then , Amy and and I talked and I got all my fears and anger out in the open and I felt a lot better and then I was angry at myself for being so stupid and eating like that. So I kinda did better the rest of the week, but, I figured I would have had a gain anyways after eating Saturday and Sunday like I did. I have always been able to pull myself up from anything bad that has happened to me and always found a worse scenario that could have happened in order to deal with whatever had happen, BUT, I guess I was just tired of "looking for a bright side". I mean I can't work anymore, I can drive long distances anymore, Sometimes I can't sleep, other times I can not stay awake, pain is my constant companion, tiredness is with me always, and now I have to be on guard that the angina could act up at anytime. I am tired of fighting everything. I got 3 more doctor's appt. next week. It seems like I spend all my money and time with doctors. I know I am just having a bad time adjusting to this new health issue and it will pass and I will FIND a brighter side somehow. Well I didn't meant to CRY on your shoulder but now I am better....have a great weekend. Love pepperHamilton & Feeser wrote: Pepper, congratulations on weighing in with a turtle this week! Heck, a stay at the hospital and an IV bag/drip is usually good for a couple pound gain. You did good to stay the same! :-) Don't worry about the lack of exercise this past week. Just do what you can when your doctor gives you the go-ahead.hugs,janetEMAIL SUPPORT TEXAS-STYLE!!THE CRAZIEST BUNCH OF "LOSERS" ON THE 'NET'!!Visit us on the web: http://www.texastops.org __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 4, 2005 Report Share Posted June 4, 2005 I was shocked!!! I just knew I would have a gain. You know I am finding out there are different kinds of depressions and anger. I have always stated I am not an emotional eater that when I am angry or depressed I can not eat......Well I am going to have to change that statement a bit. IF I am depressed over a family member dying, seriously ill, losing of a pet, or any other depression that stems from saddness then I have no appettite. If someone makes me mad or hurts me I lose my appettite and will not eat. BUT....I found out if I am mad at myself or depressed because of my own accord I can and will eat!!! LOL Its not really a laughing matter, BUT, when I got out of the hospital Friday and went home I was angry at the world. I mean this was the 2nd attack in less than a year. So now this was just one more thing to worry about. So Saturday I ate all day. I was depressed and angry at life. I just did not care. Then come Sunday we went over my friend's house to celebrate her son's graduation. Ok I just got out of the hospital and with heart problems BUT yet I ate and ate and put salt on everything. I ate fried foods, breads with butter, and one of my weakness deserts was there and I ate a half of a coconut cream pie. All the while I was eating I was thinking I don't care anymore. I got all these health issues and now a new one on top of them and I just did not care. I think small part of me was hoping that it would do me in. I was feeling like I had no furture anyways. We stayed the night over at my friend's because we had rode the bike over there and it came a horrible storm so we could not leave. I mean we could have, because they would have taken us home IF we really wnated to go, BUT, I guess my husband knew I needed company so we just stayed the night. Anyways Amy and I had a long talk and then , Amy and and I talked and I got all my fears and anger out in the open and I felt a lot better and then I was angry at myself for being so stupid and eating like that. So I kinda did better the rest of the week, but, I figured I would have had a gain anyways after eating Saturday and Sunday like I did. I have always been able to pull myself up from anything bad that has happened to me and always found a worse scenario that could have happened in order to deal with whatever had happen, BUT, I guess I was just tired of "looking for a bright side". I mean I can't work anymore, I can drive long distances anymore, Sometimes I can't sleep, other times I can not stay awake, pain is my constant companion, tiredness is with me always, and now I have to be on guard that the angina could act up at anytime. I am tired of fighting everything. I got 3 more doctor's appt. next week. It seems like I spend all my money and time with doctors. I know I am just having a bad time adjusting to this new health issue and it will pass and I will FIND a brighter side somehow. Well I didn't meant to CRY on your shoulder but now I am better....have a great weekend. Love pepperHamilton & Feeser wrote: Pepper, congratulations on weighing in with a turtle this week! Heck, a stay at the hospital and an IV bag/drip is usually good for a couple pound gain. You did good to stay the same! :-) Don't worry about the lack of exercise this past week. Just do what you can when your doctor gives you the go-ahead.hugs,janetEMAIL SUPPORT TEXAS-STYLE!!THE CRAZIEST BUNCH OF "LOSERS" ON THE 'NET'!!Visit us on the web: http://www.texastops.org __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 4, 2005 Report Share Posted June 4, 2005 I was shocked!!! I just knew I would have a gain. You know I am finding out there are different kinds of depressions and anger. I have always stated I am not an emotional eater that when I am angry or depressed I can not eat......Well I am going to have to change that statement a bit. IF I am depressed over a family member dying, seriously ill, losing of a pet, or any other depression that stems from saddness then I have no appettite. If someone makes me mad or hurts me I lose my appettite and will not eat. BUT....I found out if I am mad at myself or depressed because of my own accord I can and will eat!!! LOL Its not really a laughing matter, BUT, when I got out of the hospital Friday and went home I was angry at the world. I mean this was the 2nd attack in less than a year. So now this was just one more thing to worry about. So Saturday I ate all day. I was depressed and angry at life. I just did not care. Then come Sunday we went over my friend's house to celebrate her son's graduation. Ok I just got out of the hospital and with heart problems BUT yet I ate and ate and put salt on everything. I ate fried foods, breads with butter, and one of my weakness deserts was there and I ate a half of a coconut cream pie. All the while I was eating I was thinking I don't care anymore. I got all these health issues and now a new one on top of them and I just did not care. I think small part of me was hoping that it would do me in. I was feeling like I had no furture anyways. We stayed the night over at my friend's because we had rode the bike over there and it came a horrible storm so we could not leave. I mean we could have, because they would have taken us home IF we really wnated to go, BUT, I guess my husband knew I needed company so we just stayed the night. Anyways Amy and I had a long talk and then , Amy and and I talked and I got all my fears and anger out in the open and I felt a lot better and then I was angry at myself for being so stupid and eating like that. So I kinda did better the rest of the week, but, I figured I would have had a gain anyways after eating Saturday and Sunday like I did. I have always been able to pull myself up from anything bad that has happened to me and always found a worse scenario that could have happened in order to deal with whatever had happen, BUT, I guess I was just tired of "looking for a bright side". I mean I can't work anymore, I can drive long distances anymore, Sometimes I can't sleep, other times I can not stay awake, pain is my constant companion, tiredness is with me always, and now I have to be on guard that the angina could act up at anytime. I am tired of fighting everything. I got 3 more doctor's appt. next week. It seems like I spend all my money and time with doctors. I know I am just having a bad time adjusting to this new health issue and it will pass and I will FIND a brighter side somehow. Well I didn't meant to CRY on your shoulder but now I am better....have a great weekend. Love pepperHamilton & Feeser wrote: Pepper, congratulations on weighing in with a turtle this week! Heck, a stay at the hospital and an IV bag/drip is usually good for a couple pound gain. You did good to stay the same! :-) Don't worry about the lack of exercise this past week. Just do what you can when your doctor gives you the go-ahead.hugs,janetEMAIL SUPPORT TEXAS-STYLE!!THE CRAZIEST BUNCH OF "LOSERS" ON THE 'NET'!!Visit us on the web: http://www.texastops.org __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 4, 2005 Report Share Posted June 4, 2005 Pepper, I don't feel like you were crying on our shoulders. But even if you were, so what? We are your TOPS family and care about you! We're glad you're still with us. As you were explaining your feelings, it sounded to me like you were grieving over your loss of independence, etc. I think you are completely entitled to feel this way! I know how I feel when I realize there is one more thing I can't do anymore because of my arthritis. It is frustrating and sometimes humiliating. For me, anyway. So, you just keep talking to people you feel safe with and sharing your feelings. Keep doing what is good for you. Keep those doctors appointments. Consider what they say and then decide what is best for your health. Doctors don't know *everything*, so you keep talking to them until they understand! Let them know what is happening to you. Much love, Kathleen > Well I didn't meant to CRY on > your shoulder but now I am better....have a great weekend. Love > pepper Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 4, 2005 Report Share Posted June 4, 2005 Pepper, I don't feel like you were crying on our shoulders. But even if you were, so what? We are your TOPS family and care about you! We're glad you're still with us. As you were explaining your feelings, it sounded to me like you were grieving over your loss of independence, etc. I think you are completely entitled to feel this way! I know how I feel when I realize there is one more thing I can't do anymore because of my arthritis. It is frustrating and sometimes humiliating. For me, anyway. So, you just keep talking to people you feel safe with and sharing your feelings. Keep doing what is good for you. Keep those doctors appointments. Consider what they say and then decide what is best for your health. Doctors don't know *everything*, so you keep talking to them until they understand! Let them know what is happening to you. Much love, Kathleen > Well I didn't meant to CRY on > your shoulder but now I am better....have a great weekend. Love > pepper Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 4, 2005 Report Share Posted June 4, 2005 Pepper, I don't feel like you were crying on our shoulders. But even if you were, so what? We are your TOPS family and care about you! We're glad you're still with us. As you were explaining your feelings, it sounded to me like you were grieving over your loss of independence, etc. I think you are completely entitled to feel this way! I know how I feel when I realize there is one more thing I can't do anymore because of my arthritis. It is frustrating and sometimes humiliating. For me, anyway. So, you just keep talking to people you feel safe with and sharing your feelings. Keep doing what is good for you. Keep those doctors appointments. Consider what they say and then decide what is best for your health. Doctors don't know *everything*, so you keep talking to them until they understand! Let them know what is happening to you. Much love, Kathleen > Well I didn't meant to CRY on > your shoulder but now I am better....have a great weekend. Love > pepper Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 4, 2005 Report Share Posted June 4, 2005 Well you guessed exactly what I feel like. I am a very independent person and I ahve NEVER had to depend, ask, or rely on anyone for anything. Now on the other hand my family members have asked me and even relied on me for things and I was soooo proud to do them. I use to run errands and mow yards for a few little ladies in the neighborhood and now I can not help them like I did. Sure I still go over and visit when I am up to it, BUT, I feel like I am letting them down. I have a wonderful husband and daughter who make me feel loved and will do anything at any time for me, but, I soemtimes feel like a burden. Its hard to explain. I mean my husband works LONG hours and there are times I don't even feel like fixing anyhting for him to eat and he usually eats soups or sandwhiches and even fixes me a meal because he knows I ahve not gotten up to eat all day either. This does not happen very often but it happens and when it does I feel horrible that he has worked all day and coems home to do more work. He never complains. NEVER. I had given up all my positions in TOPS because I felt like I was not really doing a good job of them. Guess what no one took them over so I took them all back. I figured that what I can do when I can do it is better than nothing being done. So now I am once more photographer, scrapbooks, hospitality, KOPS anniversary, reporter to the paper when we are having a special event, and to talk to potential new members, program coordinator, and any thing else when I am needed. I figure the scarpbbok I can do on my good days, if I am not going to be at the meeting then I ahve Wilma to take over my other positions for that one time. This has made me feel a little better being involved again. So I take one day at a time and I guess I will just have to keep finding those brighter sides to the problems when they come along. Only someone with the problems you have can understand the problems. If you have Arthistis then you can relate to that pain I am sure. Thanks for the words of encouragement. Love ya Pepper Kathleen wrote: Pepper,I don't feel like you were crying on our shoulders. But even if you were, so what? We are your TOPS family and care about you! We're glad you're still with us.As you were explaining your feelings, it sounded to me like you were grieving over your loss of independence, etc. I think you are completely entitled to feel this way! I know how I feel when I realize there is one more thing I can't do anymore because of my arthritis. It is frustrating and sometimes humiliating. For me, anyway. So, you just keep talking to people you feel safe with and sharing your feelings. Keep doing what is good for you. Keep those doctors appointments. Consider what they say and then decide what is best for your health. Doctors don't know *everything*, so you keep talking to them until they understand! Let them know what is happening to you.Much love,Kathleen> Well I didn't meant to CRY on> your shoulder but now I am better....have a great weekend. Love> pepperEMAIL SUPPORT TEXAS-STYLE!!THE CRAZIEST BUNCH OF "LOSERS" ON THE 'NET'!!Visit us on the web: http://www.texastops.org __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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