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To Jan, I thank you for being concerned, this has been the first

time that I have been able to talk,sorry type to anyone about living with

this day after day. I must say that I have indeed suffered so much, It does

in fact effect my family, not being able to make an commitment to the kids

in regards to any function that parents attend. I on one hand feels as if I

am missing out on life, what I mean by that, is being able to do what other

people take for granted. I have had a lot of people belittling me, Its four

in the morning and my husband insists on taking me down to our small town

hospital, to see a doctor and the nurses, telling me that the doc is in a

very bad mood and they don't want to wake her up, Hello I said then what in

the world do you think I am in? There has been a lot of times that this has

happened, nurses laughing her she comes again, My husband sitting there and

can here them making jokes about me, He is the one that makes me go to that

band aid station.When I say he makes me , it is always after a four night

and days that I try anything and everything to make it stop. My gp has told

my husband to take me there, but I Thinks he just says that when my husband

comes with me for appointments. It is only human that people that has to

live with this everyday, always asks why me, I certainly did not to come off

as how I was raised, by the best family one could have. When you look at the

heath care system in our country, it does not matter who you are or who you

know, but just to let you know that in this day and age no one should

suffer. It is up to the oneself to make noise, I can tell you one thing out

of all this, it has made me grateful for those good days. Our family Doctors

should be educated, to keep up with what is real and what is in your head. I

must say that after ten years of telling him the same thing, finally he does

in fact know that this is not in my head and its time to try and give me

some kinds of meds that will to say the least, take the edge off. I don't

take meds to get some kind of high, I take them to feel normal, what ever

normal is???? bu for now,

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