one of those days

[Guest guest]

I've sometimes seen this board used as a forum for venting. I'm

hopful that everyone will allow me to do the same tonight. It's just

been 'one of those days' for me today. I feel like I want to rip

this expander out of my mouth. I want my two front teeth to go back

together again, right now. I feel like ... I'd rather live with the

migraine headaches and the jaw pain for the rest of my life than to

continue down this path of surgery and braces and a diet filled with

mush. I hate that when I speak I sound like I have an IQ of 5. I

can't stand watching people around me enjoying food when I can't. I

despise my reflection in the mirror and want to walk around with a

bag over my head. I'm sick and tired of explaining to every Tom,

Dick and Harry that I come across why I look the way I do, and what

that 'wierd thing' is inside my mouth, and having to say 'no I didn't

get into a fight and have a tooth knocked out' and waking up swollen

and being hungry and not being able to sing along with my favorite

songs when I'm driving in my car. I'm sure I'm not the only one who

has days like this. But right now, this very moment, I feel like the

only soul in the universe that is tortured and unhappy. The people

that I work with and come into contact with during my day praise my

courage and admire my dedication ... but always end with " I

could/would NEVER do what you're doing. " Those that love me, tell me

to hang in there that it will all be worth it. They say there is a

light at the end of the tunnel. All I see ... is an oncoming train.

If I could have one wish ... and believe me there are many things in

this world that I want/need/would like to have ... that one wish

would be for this all to be over. I just want it all to be over.

Anyway ... thank you for giving me a place to purge ... for humoring

my temporary insanity. I'll return you now, to your regularly

scheduled programming.

Carol