College Daughter

[Guest guest]

HELP. I have a daughter away at college. Her first year went

pretty well as she was in campus housing. They were aware of her

celiac and accomodated us to the best of their ability. The

university went to the store and purchased her speciality items,

i.e. GF bread, GF cereal and a few other items. They printed a menu

out every month and the chef highlighted what she could eat. She

was told that every day there was not a good selection for dinner

that she should walk back in the kitchen when she arrived and they

would make her a chicken breast or a hamburger to go along with any

sides that she could have. Her sophomore year she was moving into

the sorority house. They knew well in advance that she had Celiac

and assured me they could feed her. They have two personal cooks

for the house and do all of the grocer shopping as well. They have

a house mother that I supplied well in advance with all sorts of

reading materials on Celiac and safe food lists. Shortly after move

in the food problems began. The house mother had little to no

interest in making sure there was a GF meal choice and the cooks

only did what the house mother instructed them to do. My next

option was to contact the president of the house court board. The

few times I tried to talk to this woman and get her to understand

the importance of a GF diet, she would tell me she was tired of

dealing with these girls and their problems and she would hang up on

me. My next option was contacting the International Chapter Housing

Board. Below are the e-mail that I sent to them.

E-Mail sent to International Housing on 11/21/05: XXXX knew of my

daughter's food allergy prior to her rushing. XXXX was well aware

of her diet prior to her living in. If there was a problem feeding

her, then the HCB should have addressed that issue prior to rushing

the '08s. There are days that go by when 's only meal

options are salad, lunch and dinner. She is severely limited on

what she can eat. While her house mother and the cooks are very

nice, seems to fall through the cracks. I feel that the

HCB needs to remedy this problem as soon as possible. Given the

fact that Steph's schedule does not always allow her to be at the

house at designated meal times and gluten free food is not tasty the

first time around, let alone as a leftover, I feel she should be

given access to the kitchen and/or access to her gluten free food at

all times. We are not asking that the cooks go through extra work

and make sure they have a gluten free option for her every day/every

meal, we are just asking that she be allowed kitchen access and food

access to be able to prepare her own. No one understands her diet

better than she does.

Nothing was done to change the meals so here is my second request:

Second e-mail I sent January, 2006: My daughter has a disability.

I would think that the House Court Board would take that disability

a little more serious than what they have taken it to date. Since

my request to you on 11/21, nothing has changed. is not

being fed any differently today that she was back in the fall. I

have requested that she be provided proper nutrition and a well-

balanced gluten free diet. If the cooks cannot properly accommodate

such a diet, then should be given access to the kitchen to

prepare her own meals. I do NOT feel that no breakfast and then

salad for lunch and dinner is an adequate meal plan. Since I have

not been given the accounting breakdown, I do not know what I am

paying for meals but I'm sure it is an exorbitant amount for no more

than lettuce and dressing most days. is now keeping a

journal of the food served in the house and what, if anything, she

can eat on each day. This will demonstrate a serious lack of

nutritional options. So far today, there were NO breakfast options

for her diet. Lunch consisted of BLT sandwiches. XXXXi does not

provide gluten free bread, therefore, she had no lunch. They also

served soup in bread bowls which she could not eat. This is an

almost daily occurrence. More likely than not, she will not have

any option but salad for dinner.

The person in charge of Housing at International forwarded an e-mail

to me as well as the president of the House Court Board a week ago

requesting that we work together. Here is the reply my daughter

(not me) received from the president of the House Court Board:

, Please read the entire message.

It appears to the House Corporation Board that you are very unhappy

at the chapter house.

Membership in XXXXX is a great privilege not a right. With

privilege goes responsibility.

Responsibility means " taking the time " to purchase the food products

for your food issues and " taking the time " to meet with the

housedirector and the cook to discuss what you CAN eat regarding the

weeks menus and what to substitute if you cannot. Most other places

you could live would not even begin to accomodate your food issues.

We have bent over backwards to accomodate you with very little help

on your part. We cannot go buy your food for you.

Perhaps you should consider dis-affiliating with the chapter

permanently since it appears that you are very unhappy.

If you wish to remain an XXX, you will act in a more responsible

manner regarding your celiac issues by communicating regularly

(weekly if necessary) with the house director and the cook. And by

purchasing enough products for your own use, not expecting others to

do it for you.

I am truly sorry we had to come to this, co-operating with the

spirit of sisterhood would have been so much better for everyone.

Does anyone have any constructive suggestions on how to deal with

this woman on a personal level as well as a legal level?

Please forward any replies to denisehaines1001@....

Thanks so much for any advice you can provide.