Re: My mom resents my surgery

[Guest guest]

I wonder how she would react if you were so...vocal...with her. For

example, what would she do if you had replied, with scorn, " Mom, that

was just plain mean. Why did you say something like that? "

I know, probably best to avoid it altogether, but I sometimes can't

hold my tongue and I say that to people when they make rude or mean

comments! I just wanna SHAKE 'em and say QUIT! BE NICE!

Anyway, now that you're breathing normally, take that deep breath &

enjoy how it feels! :-)

> > Sorry about your mom's reaction. I agree with Cammie, you

> shouldn't

> > try to force your mom to change her attitude, just be your normal

> > self if you can (and I know that's not easy when you're faced

with

> > that kind of onslaught). That will deflect the bad attitude back

> to

> > its source. Don't join her in that type of nonsense.

> >

> > My mom wasn't mad, but she did, I think, feel a bit guilty about

> it.

> > She joked that I was perfect when I left her. These days she

> thinks

> > maybe she needs to have surgery too, but she's too old for it

(75)

> > and I don't think it will improve her quality of life. She

doesn't

> > have tmj symptoms.

> >

> > I had to deal with a sister whose dentist knew my surgeon, and

who

> > told her to " do everything you can to talk your sister out of

it " ,

> > which she tried, thinking it was a horrible thing to recover

from.

> > They were both wrong, my surgeon is one of the best, and I had a

> > terrific recovery.

> >

> > I didn't want either of my parents coming to see me in hospital

> for a

> > few reasons - I didn't want them to see me all puffed up, my

> husband

> > stayed with me 24x7 in the hospital, and it was an over 2 hour

> drive

> > for my parents to come see me. It all worked out for the best as

> when

> > they did see me after 2 weeks, most of the external swelling was

> gone

> > and they could see the new me.

> >

> > Is your father around? Is there another family member you could

> ask

> > to help change the subject, or talk to your mother about it?

> >

> > Just hang in there. Your mom can't harp on that subject forever,

> > especially if you don't react to her when she does. Change the

> > subject, talk about her or her favourite things.

> >

> > Good luck!

> >

[Guest guest]

I wonder how she would react if you were so...vocal...with her. For

example, what would she do if you had replied, with scorn, " Mom, that

was just plain mean. Why did you say something like that? "

I know, probably best to avoid it altogether, but I sometimes can't

hold my tongue and I say that to people when they make rude or mean

comments! I just wanna SHAKE 'em and say QUIT! BE NICE!

Anyway, now that you're breathing normally, take that deep breath &

enjoy how it feels! :-)

> > Sorry about your mom's reaction. I agree with Cammie, you

> shouldn't

> > try to force your mom to change her attitude, just be your normal

> > self if you can (and I know that's not easy when you're faced

with

> > that kind of onslaught). That will deflect the bad attitude back

> to

> > its source. Don't join her in that type of nonsense.

> >

> > My mom wasn't mad, but she did, I think, feel a bit guilty about

> it.

> > She joked that I was perfect when I left her. These days she

> thinks

> > maybe she needs to have surgery too, but she's too old for it

(75)

> > and I don't think it will improve her quality of life. She

doesn't

> > have tmj symptoms.

> >

> > I had to deal with a sister whose dentist knew my surgeon, and

who

> > told her to " do everything you can to talk your sister out of

it " ,

> > which she tried, thinking it was a horrible thing to recover

from.

> > They were both wrong, my surgeon is one of the best, and I had a

> > terrific recovery.

> >

> > I didn't want either of my parents coming to see me in hospital

> for a

> > few reasons - I didn't want them to see me all puffed up, my

> husband

> > stayed with me 24x7 in the hospital, and it was an over 2 hour

> drive

> > for my parents to come see me. It all worked out for the best as

> when

> > they did see me after 2 weeks, most of the external swelling was

> gone

> > and they could see the new me.

> >

> > Is your father around? Is there another family member you could

> ask

> > to help change the subject, or talk to your mother about it?

> >

> > Just hang in there. Your mom can't harp on that subject forever,

> > especially if you don't react to her when she does. Change the

> > subject, talk about her or her favourite things.

> >

> > Good luck!

> >