Admittedly Off-Topic

[Guest guest]

The Texas Inauguration Song

Oh if I were president, I'd make you understand

No more questions no more lies, I will tell you the truth looking in your

eyes

If I were president

Well first and foremost son, Jesus Christ is the only one, you're going to

talk

to when your day begins.

I'm going to pass a law that says everyday you got to get down

on your knees and pray, thank the man for dying for your sins.

If I were president, I would make you understand

Jesus is the man he's the reason that we stand, if I were president

We're gonna put the word out on the streets, no more Washington, DC, I'm

gonna

make this country big and strong. No more paying of your taxes, the capital

is in Pampa, Texas, that's the only place a house that big belongs.

If I were president, the blue-collar man won't get the shaft.

Nobody's gonna laugh when Jerry Jeff's my Chief of Staff, if I were

president.

Well, Iraqi boys you must be nuts, you're digging yourself deeper in a rut.

I got a way to end your problems soon. We'll bring home every one of our

boys and pull out our biggest baddest toy and blow you crazy bastards to the

moon.

If I were president, nobody's going to push us around. If they threaten us

or put us down we'll burn their county to the ground. If I were president.

Well, I got one for you Sadam Hussein, we'll resurrect General Wayne,

put

together a very simple plan. We'll put down our nukes put down our guns and

you and the duke will be one on one and he'll kick your ass as if you were a

man.

If I were president, If I were president. If you don't like Willie ,

you got to go to prison. If I were president. So cast your vote and make it

me and if I win the beer is free if I were president

From: Cross Canadian Ragweed