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6 DAYS to the other side

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Everytime I think the phrase " the other side " I feel like I'm in an episode of

" The Twilight Zone " and the operation is some portal to a parallel

universe.....lol

Anyway, I did pre-op on Monday. The food was pretty bad in the Coffee Shop but

then I realized I didn't have to eat it when I came back!

Got lost a few times, I really have no picture in my head of how the hospital is

connected one part to another, and there was no map, no floorplan (I kept

asking) so I wandered around in circles for awhile. I was relieved when I

finally reached the pre-testing at The Surgical Center and it seemed to make

sense. (I really hate not understanding where I am.)

But I am very very anxious - Mom is flying in Sunday night just to take care of

me for the summer. That's good. But my b/f and I broke up end of May and I

wasn't prepared for that. There's this empty void and feeling like the ground

has been pulled out from me....losing a vital piece of my support network.

And as I wrote to Lori, I failed at that relationship, what if I fail at this?

What if I can't take the pain, or I can't stop crying, or I decide I can't live

without potato chips?

Anyway, I went from being so sure to this confusion....and I don't know if it's

normal cos everyone else I read about says they were so calm and sailed right

thru. Well, it isn't me right now!

Devon

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