Guest guest Posted July 21, 2002 Report Share Posted July 21, 2002 Moderation is fine when it comes to food, but don't let it get out of hand: " Put a pot of chili on the stove to simmer. Let it simmer. Meanwhile, broil a good steak. Eat the steak. Let the chili simmer. Ignore it. " --Allan Shivers " A gourmet who thinks of calories is like a tart who looks at her watch. " -- Beard " Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. " --Redd Foxx How to Lie to Your Bathroom Scale Part I 1. Weigh yourself with clothes on, after dinner ... as well as in the morning, without clothes, before breakfast, because it's nice to see how much weight you've lost overnight. 2. Never weigh yourself with wet hair. 3. When weighing, remove everything, including glasses. In this case, blurred vision is an asset. Don't forget the earrings, these things can weigh at least a pound. 4. Use cheap scales only, never the medical kind, because they are always five pounds off ... to your advantage. 5. Always go to the bathroom first. How to Lie to Your Bathroom Scale Part II (Last one, I promise) 6. Stand with arms raised, making pressure on the scale lighter. 7. Don't eat or drink in the morning until AFTER you've weighed in, completely naked, of course. 8. Weigh yourself after a haircut; this is good for at least half a pound of hair (hopefully). 9. Exhale with all your might BEFORE stepping onto the scale (air has to weigh something, right?). 10. Start out with just one foot on the scale, then holding onto the towel rack in front of you, slowly edge your other foot on and slowly let off of the rack. Admittedly, this takes time, but it's worth it. You will weigh at least two pounds less than if you'd stepped on normally. Inge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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