Re: People bringing glutened goods into your home

[Guest guest]

Bridget,

It is a good thing to post your thoughts whether or not they "go with the flow". It is definitely "food for thought".... pardon the pun-ha!

Part of the reason we have chosen not to live "out in the wild" at home like some others have is that after one year GF, my one son's antibodies were still above normal. At that point, our doctor said we really needed to look carefully at how he could be getting gluten, including (but not limited to) cross-contamination at home. He sugggested looking primarily at cross contamination at home, and of course at eating out.

He has celiac neuropathy and we are still holding out hope that his nerve damage will "repair itself". They feel like the healing, if it is going to occur, will occur the first year going GF. His nerves have not healed, but then the anitibodies came back elevated, so we are holding out hope that with stricter "gluten control", his nerves may still reapair.

You are right though to "chalk it up to experiece" for the boys as it will not be the last time they are forced to deal with this type of situation. I am going to make sure, however, that they (or I don't have to deal with it in our own home. That is ultimately the only place we have real control.

Blessings and thanks for your insights,

RE: People bringing glutened goods into your home

My thought doesn't seem to flow with the others, but I guess that's why it's important to post it. We just got back from my parents house where we had the "extneded family Christmas." My son has been GF for a year and a half now, and he just turned 4. The first family gathering that we had, my aunt (who loves to cook) brought all of her traditional goodies. Gluten-filled of course. I was immediately irritated and felt so sad for my son....and I almost said something. My mom had carefully made gf things for my son, and was careful to label everything. But, still, I was upset. When we got home, and I got thinking about it I realized that while it's hard for my son to be around all the yummy looking things he can't have, he also had many, many yummy things he COULD have. And his whole life is going to be about being around yummy looking things he can't have. So, whether at home or "out in the wild" he may as well get used to not being able to have it. He's not being deprived, he's just got to eat differently. So, this year when we all got together, and he's older and more aware of the differences, I wasn't surprised nor was I mad when all the gluten-filled foods came out. And even when he asked and was denied something, I didn't feel bad. And you know what? My reaction did volums for his reaction. I just said, "Nope, you can't have that. It has gluten in it. But here, you can have this, this, this or this...." and he happily chose what he could have and off he went.

So, while it sucks that they paraded in with a bunch of stuff, and potentially contaminated the whole space, I would chalk it up to them (a) just not getting it (they don't live in the situation, and therefore don't realize the cross-contamination issues...face it, neither did any of us until thrust into this situation head first...) and ( thinking that they kids just didn't have to eat it. They probably knew you'd have a bunch of GF stuff for your kids.

Next time either plainly state you will be taking care of all the food for the gathering. Or, assign people things to bring ("TO avoid duplication"...that's always a good excuse...) and then say can you bring XYZ brand of HJK bc that's a safe brand for the whole famly to eat (and then have it on hand yourself if it's crucial, just in case they still don't comply.)

I don't want to make light of your feelings, we all have been there and feelings are legitimate no matter what they are bc they are what YOU are feeling...there is no right or wrong, there just is. But sometimes having a different outlook makes all the difference. I figure if my son can get used to his reality, and do it in a controlled environment like our home and our family's home, then life will be that much easier in the "real world" when I"m not there to protect him.

From: SillyYaks [mailto:SillyYaks ] On Behalf Of ozonasusan@...Sent: Saturday, December 31, 2005 1:25 PMTo: SillyYaks Subject: People bringing glutened goods into your home

I just sent off 10 house guests who were here for 4 nights. My three boys ages 13, 11 and 6 have celiac. The guests were my husbands parents and all of his siblings and their children. The only other "children" in the group were ages 2, 20 and 22. We were celebrating my husbands parents 60th wedding anniversary - what an accomplishment!

At any rate, I was caught off guard when all of them, including the grandparents walked in with tons of cakes, homemade cookies, banana bread, pies, etc. - all of it glutened. They are well aware of our children's condition and all of the limitations. We have stayed at their homes since diagnosis and we have sent them articles and emails giving them info on the condition. We have shared with them how hard it is for the boys to be around all of the things they can't have and what an issue cross contamination is - you should see the CRUMBS on my counter, floor, etc.

Interestingly enough, I had baked alot of GF items and people scarfed them up. They didn't eat their own baking until ours was gone, which left me to do additional baking for the boys. That part was a good thing because my kids liked that others like the GF pies, etc.

I am surprised that no one at least called me to ask if it was ok. They are my in-laws and not my own family and I think that is part of it. My mom and sister have knocked themselves out to bake gluten-free when we visit or when they visit us. They would not think of bringing glutened items into our home.

As they were packing to leave last night, I did invite them to take all of the left over baked goods home. I said, "The boys can't have them and Randy and I do not eat those things in front of them." Hint hint.

I am just looking for some clear perspective that I might not have. My inlaws have treated our children dufferently all along (the other grandchildren are children of their daughters) , so I am wondering if my feelings on this are just "carry over" from previous issues not related to the celiac. It is obvious that my husband thinks what they did is fine, but that would be a whole other chapter.

I would like your input on two things. Am I wrong to be annoyed at what they did? How would you handle it the next time?

Thanks,

in GA

[Guest guest]

Bridget,

It is a good thing to post your thoughts whether or not they "go with the flow". It is definitely "food for thought".... pardon the pun-ha!

Part of the reason we have chosen not to live "out in the wild" at home like some others have is that after one year GF, my one son's antibodies were still above normal. At that point, our doctor said we really needed to look carefully at how he could be getting gluten, including (but not limited to) cross-contamination at home. He sugggested looking primarily at cross contamination at home, and of course at eating out.

He has celiac neuropathy and we are still holding out hope that his nerve damage will "repair itself". They feel like the healing, if it is going to occur, will occur the first year going GF. His nerves have not healed, but then the anitibodies came back elevated, so we are holding out hope that with stricter "gluten control", his nerves may still reapair.

You are right though to "chalk it up to experiece" for the boys as it will not be the last time they are forced to deal with this type of situation. I am going to make sure, however, that they (or I don't have to deal with it in our own home. That is ultimately the only place we have real control.

Blessings and thanks for your insights,

RE: People bringing glutened goods into your home

My thought doesn't seem to flow with the others, but I guess that's why it's important to post it. We just got back from my parents house where we had the "extneded family Christmas." My son has been GF for a year and a half now, and he just turned 4. The first family gathering that we had, my aunt (who loves to cook) brought all of her traditional goodies. Gluten-filled of course. I was immediately irritated and felt so sad for my son....and I almost said something. My mom had carefully made gf things for my son, and was careful to label everything. But, still, I was upset. When we got home, and I got thinking about it I realized that while it's hard for my son to be around all the yummy looking things he can't have, he also had many, many yummy things he COULD have. And his whole life is going to be about being around yummy looking things he can't have. So, whether at home or "out in the wild" he may as well get used to not being able to have it. He's not being deprived, he's just got to eat differently. So, this year when we all got together, and he's older and more aware of the differences, I wasn't surprised nor was I mad when all the gluten-filled foods came out. And even when he asked and was denied something, I didn't feel bad. And you know what? My reaction did volums for his reaction. I just said, "Nope, you can't have that. It has gluten in it. But here, you can have this, this, this or this...." and he happily chose what he could have and off he went.

So, while it sucks that they paraded in with a bunch of stuff, and potentially contaminated the whole space, I would chalk it up to them (a) just not getting it (they don't live in the situation, and therefore don't realize the cross-contamination issues...face it, neither did any of us until thrust into this situation head first...) and ( thinking that they kids just didn't have to eat it. They probably knew you'd have a bunch of GF stuff for your kids.

Next time either plainly state you will be taking care of all the food for the gathering. Or, assign people things to bring ("TO avoid duplication"...that's always a good excuse...) and then say can you bring XYZ brand of HJK bc that's a safe brand for the whole famly to eat (and then have it on hand yourself if it's crucial, just in case they still don't comply.)

I don't want to make light of your feelings, we all have been there and feelings are legitimate no matter what they are bc they are what YOU are feeling...there is no right or wrong, there just is. But sometimes having a different outlook makes all the difference. I figure if my son can get used to his reality, and do it in a controlled environment like our home and our family's home, then life will be that much easier in the "real world" when I"m not there to protect him.

From: SillyYaks [mailto:SillyYaks ] On Behalf Of ozonasusan@...Sent: Saturday, December 31, 2005 1:25 PMTo: SillyYaks Subject: People bringing glutened goods into your home

I just sent off 10 house guests who were here for 4 nights. My three boys ages 13, 11 and 6 have celiac. The guests were my husbands parents and all of his siblings and their children. The only other "children" in the group were ages 2, 20 and 22. We were celebrating my husbands parents 60th wedding anniversary - what an accomplishment!

At any rate, I was caught off guard when all of them, including the grandparents walked in with tons of cakes, homemade cookies, banana bread, pies, etc. - all of it glutened. They are well aware of our children's condition and all of the limitations. We have stayed at their homes since diagnosis and we have sent them articles and emails giving them info on the condition. We have shared with them how hard it is for the boys to be around all of the things they can't have and what an issue cross contamination is - you should see the CRUMBS on my counter, floor, etc.

Interestingly enough, I had baked alot of GF items and people scarfed them up. They didn't eat their own baking until ours was gone, which left me to do additional baking for the boys. That part was a good thing because my kids liked that others like the GF pies, etc.

I am surprised that no one at least called me to ask if it was ok. They are my in-laws and not my own family and I think that is part of it. My mom and sister have knocked themselves out to bake gluten-free when we visit or when they visit us. They would not think of bringing glutened items into our home.

As they were packing to leave last night, I did invite them to take all of the left over baked goods home. I said, "The boys can't have them and Randy and I do not eat those things in front of them." Hint hint.

I am just looking for some clear perspective that I might not have. My inlaws have treated our children dufferently all along (the other grandchildren are children of their daughters) , so I am wondering if my feelings on this are just "carry over" from previous issues not related to the celiac. It is obvious that my husband thinks what they did is fine, but that would be a whole other chapter.

I would like your input on two things. Am I wrong to be annoyed at what they did? How would you handle it the next time?

Thanks,

in GA

[Guest guest]

Bridget,

It is a good thing to post your thoughts whether or not they "go with the flow". It is definitely "food for thought".... pardon the pun-ha!

Part of the reason we have chosen not to live "out in the wild" at home like some others have is that after one year GF, my one son's antibodies were still above normal. At that point, our doctor said we really needed to look carefully at how he could be getting gluten, including (but not limited to) cross-contamination at home. He sugggested looking primarily at cross contamination at home, and of course at eating out.

He has celiac neuropathy and we are still holding out hope that his nerve damage will "repair itself". They feel like the healing, if it is going to occur, will occur the first year going GF. His nerves have not healed, but then the anitibodies came back elevated, so we are holding out hope that with stricter "gluten control", his nerves may still reapair.

You are right though to "chalk it up to experiece" for the boys as it will not be the last time they are forced to deal with this type of situation. I am going to make sure, however, that they (or I don't have to deal with it in our own home. That is ultimately the only place we have real control.

Blessings and thanks for your insights,

RE: People bringing glutened goods into your home

My thought doesn't seem to flow with the others, but I guess that's why it's important to post it. We just got back from my parents house where we had the "extneded family Christmas." My son has been GF for a year and a half now, and he just turned 4. The first family gathering that we had, my aunt (who loves to cook) brought all of her traditional goodies. Gluten-filled of course. I was immediately irritated and felt so sad for my son....and I almost said something. My mom had carefully made gf things for my son, and was careful to label everything. But, still, I was upset. When we got home, and I got thinking about it I realized that while it's hard for my son to be around all the yummy looking things he can't have, he also had many, many yummy things he COULD have. And his whole life is going to be about being around yummy looking things he can't have. So, whether at home or "out in the wild" he may as well get used to not being able to have it. He's not being deprived, he's just got to eat differently. So, this year when we all got together, and he's older and more aware of the differences, I wasn't surprised nor was I mad when all the gluten-filled foods came out. And even when he asked and was denied something, I didn't feel bad. And you know what? My reaction did volums for his reaction. I just said, "Nope, you can't have that. It has gluten in it. But here, you can have this, this, this or this...." and he happily chose what he could have and off he went.

So, while it sucks that they paraded in with a bunch of stuff, and potentially contaminated the whole space, I would chalk it up to them (a) just not getting it (they don't live in the situation, and therefore don't realize the cross-contamination issues...face it, neither did any of us until thrust into this situation head first...) and ( thinking that they kids just didn't have to eat it. They probably knew you'd have a bunch of GF stuff for your kids.

Next time either plainly state you will be taking care of all the food for the gathering. Or, assign people things to bring ("TO avoid duplication"...that's always a good excuse...) and then say can you bring XYZ brand of HJK bc that's a safe brand for the whole famly to eat (and then have it on hand yourself if it's crucial, just in case they still don't comply.)

I don't want to make light of your feelings, we all have been there and feelings are legitimate no matter what they are bc they are what YOU are feeling...there is no right or wrong, there just is. But sometimes having a different outlook makes all the difference. I figure if my son can get used to his reality, and do it in a controlled environment like our home and our family's home, then life will be that much easier in the "real world" when I"m not there to protect him.

From: SillyYaks [mailto:SillyYaks ] On Behalf Of ozonasusan@...Sent: Saturday, December 31, 2005 1:25 PMTo: SillyYaks Subject: People bringing glutened goods into your home

I just sent off 10 house guests who were here for 4 nights. My three boys ages 13, 11 and 6 have celiac. The guests were my husbands parents and all of his siblings and their children. The only other "children" in the group were ages 2, 20 and 22. We were celebrating my husbands parents 60th wedding anniversary - what an accomplishment!

At any rate, I was caught off guard when all of them, including the grandparents walked in with tons of cakes, homemade cookies, banana bread, pies, etc. - all of it glutened. They are well aware of our children's condition and all of the limitations. We have stayed at their homes since diagnosis and we have sent them articles and emails giving them info on the condition. We have shared with them how hard it is for the boys to be around all of the things they can't have and what an issue cross contamination is - you should see the CRUMBS on my counter, floor, etc.

Interestingly enough, I had baked alot of GF items and people scarfed them up. They didn't eat their own baking until ours was gone, which left me to do additional baking for the boys. That part was a good thing because my kids liked that others like the GF pies, etc.

I am surprised that no one at least called me to ask if it was ok. They are my in-laws and not my own family and I think that is part of it. My mom and sister have knocked themselves out to bake gluten-free when we visit or when they visit us. They would not think of bringing glutened items into our home.

As they were packing to leave last night, I did invite them to take all of the left over baked goods home. I said, "The boys can't have them and Randy and I do not eat those things in front of them." Hint hint.

I am just looking for some clear perspective that I might not have. My inlaws have treated our children dufferently all along (the other grandchildren are children of their daughters) , so I am wondering if my feelings on this are just "carry over" from previous issues not related to the celiac. It is obvious that my husband thinks what they did is fine, but that would be a whole other chapter.

I would like your input on two things. Am I wrong to be annoyed at what they did? How would you handle it the next time?

Thanks,

in GA

[Guest guest]

Today my friend hosted a fun kid's Bunko in her home. I was dismayed to see

the tables filled with bowls and bowls of candy and wheat crackers and

cookies everywhere. She at once apologized, thinking of my Celiac daughter

and son who is on a G/F diet for a testing time. Well as the games went on

the kids were spreading crumbs all over the tables. OH MAN! I told my Celiac

to not put her hands in her mouth or eat a single thing, due to

contamination and had her wash her hands afterward. Of course as the game

wore on, the other kids were getting more and more hyper (it really wasn't

fun, afterall). It was ridiculous--all that crap she provided. Even if my

kids weren't on a GF diet, the food//snack choices were unbelievable. What

are people thinking to provide those kinds of snacks? There must have been a

dozen different bad snack choices. Not one fruit or veggie or cheese stick.

It was nice of her to provide, but holy moly! Thankfully Karianne was scared

enough to follow my rules. Then I wouldn't let her eat her candy prize

(believe it or not--they got more candy afterward!) until we had eaten lunch

later on.

TIA,

& Mike

Re: People bringing glutened goods into your home

My heart goes out to you!!! My sister-in-law gave us for Christmas a

Snowman that is actually three boxes on top of each other. Each box contains

either candies or cookies or chocolate covered pretzels - of course all with

wheat (written right on the label)!!

She said " I hope you like it, I bought one for myself and my kids can't wait

to open it. " My husband and 4 year old daughter are not celiac, but my 7

year old son is - what does she think I'm going to do?!?!!! Open it and say

" Sorry - your beloved Aunt gave this to us but it's only for us 3 - you

can't eat it?!!!! " If it was a friend that didn't quite understand - I'd

say thank you, keep my mouth closed and give it away later on -- but we see

this woman quite often - my son has slept overnight at her house (got to re-

think that!!!) How can people be so insensitive!!! I thought

she " got it " , but apparently does not.

Al

[Guest guest]

" we were having a tough time finding a kids gluten-free lip gloss for her. "

Does anyone know if Avon lip balm/ flavored chapstick type is GF?

My sister-in-law who is a nurse for their corporate offices keeps giving it

to us.

[Guest guest]

" we were having a tough time finding a kids gluten-free lip gloss for her. "

Does anyone know if Avon lip balm/ flavored chapstick type is GF?

My sister-in-law who is a nurse for their corporate offices keeps giving it

to us.

[Guest guest]

" we were having a tough time finding a kids gluten-free lip gloss for her. "

Does anyone know if Avon lip balm/ flavored chapstick type is GF?

My sister-in-law who is a nurse for their corporate offices keeps giving it

to us.

[Guest guest]

One of the hardest parts about needing to be gluten free for whatever

reason (or, I imagine, having any foog allergy) is other people not

really understanding. It can be that they are just clueless (I know

I used to be), thinking we are all hypochondriacs (as I have

encountered), or actively malicious (I choose to believe that no one

I know fits into that category). You are perfectly within your

rights to be annoyed and protective of your children and you should

not feel guilty about it. My 2 cents would be to rage for a minute

and then channel the adrenaline toward effectively but cordially

communicating explicit, detailed ground rules for next time.

Not nearly on the same order of madnitude, but my sister in law

arrived for a family and friend game day last weekend with a pint of

Ben and Jerry's Chocolate Fudge Brownie ice cream for herself and her

husband. My house is kept gluten free because it's the one place I

have virtually complete control over and I choose to spend my

vigilence eating out instead of at home (a girl only has so much

energy to go around ya know). They ate the ice cream out of the

carton and used plastic spoons. I wasn't really paranoid about

contamination, but I have learned that the intricacies of all

the " this is okay but not this " rules are a bit much for most people

who do not deal with it as a lifestyle. It is easier for them to

remember all or nothing. So anytime they, or anyone, bring gluten

food into the house (usually from ordered take out), it stays in the

container and they clean up after themselves immediately.

So far everyone seems to accept this as a necessity for my well-being

(mental or physical) and no one has ever been put out or upset by

it. I do try to explain it nicely and have never taken a frying pan

to anyone or started throwing knives as much as I may have wanted to

in the beginning.

Good luck to you!

Lori in ATL

>

> I just sent off 10 house guests who were here for 4 nights. My

three boys ages 13, 11 and 6 have celiac. The guests were my

husbands parents and all of his siblings and their children. The

only other " children " in the group were ages 2, 20 and 22. We were

celebrating my husbands parents 60th wedding anniversary - what an

accomplishment!

>

> At any rate, I was caught off guard when all of them, including the

grandparents walked in with tons of cakes, homemade cookies, banana

bread, pies, etc. - all of it glutened. They are well aware of our

children's condition and all of the limitations. We have stayed at

their homes since diagnosis and we have sent them articles and emails

giving them info on the condition. We have shared with them how hard

it is for the boys to be around all of the things they can't have and

what an issue cross contamination is - you should see the CRUMBS on

my counter, floor, etc.

>

> Interestingly enough, I had baked alot of GF items and people

scarfed them up. They didn't eat their own baking until ours was

gone, which left me to do additional baking for the boys. That part

was a good thing because my kids liked that others like the GF pies,

etc.

>

> I am surprised that no one at least called me to ask if it was ok.

They are my in-laws and not my own family and I think that is part of

it. My mom and sister have knocked themselves out to bake gluten-

free when we visit or when they visit us. They would not think of

bringing glutened items into our home.

>

> As they were packing to leave last night, I did invite them to take

all of the left over baked goods home. I said, " The boys can't have

them and Randy and I do not eat those things in front of them. " Hint

hint.

>

> I am just looking for some clear perspective that I might not

have. My inlaws have treated our children dufferently all along (the

other grandchildren are children of their daughters) , so I am

wondering if my feelings on this are just " carry over " from previous

issues not related to the celiac. It is obvious that my husband

thinks what they did is fine, but that would be a whole other chapter.

>

> I would like your input on two things. Am I wrong to be annoyed at

what they did? How would you handle it the next time?

>

> Thanks,

>

> in GA

>

[Guest guest]

Lori,

Go to the files on Yahoo and make the chocolate crock pot pretzels

that are gf and let him eat those!

Cheryl in Colorado

lori0604 wrote:

My heart goes out to you!!! My sister-in-law gave us for Christmas

a Snowman that is actually three boxes on top of each other. Each

box contains either candies or cookies or chocolate covered

pretzels - of course all with wheat (written right on the label)!!

She said "I hope you like it, I bought one for myself and my kids

can't wait to open it." My husband and 4 year old daughter are not

celiac, but my 7 year old son is - what does she think I'm going to

do?!?!!! Open it and say "Sorry - your beloved Aunt gave this

to us but it's only for us 3 - you can't eat it?!!!!" If it was a

friend that didn't quite understand - I'd say thank you, keep my

mouth closed and give it away later on -- but we see this woman

quite often - my son has slept overnight at her house (got to re-

think that!!!) How can people be so insensitive!!! I thought

she "got it", but apparently does not.

Although I don't really post, this site has provided me with

invaluable information and support!!! Thank you to all of you!!!

Regards,

Lori

mom to 7 celiac and 4 (not celiac and could eat anything,

but is extremely picky!!)

[Guest guest]

Lori,

Go to the files on Yahoo and make the chocolate crock pot pretzels

that are gf and let him eat those!

Cheryl in Colorado

lori0604 wrote:

My heart goes out to you!!! My sister-in-law gave us for Christmas

a Snowman that is actually three boxes on top of each other. Each

box contains either candies or cookies or chocolate covered

pretzels - of course all with wheat (written right on the label)!!

She said "I hope you like it, I bought one for myself and my kids

can't wait to open it." My husband and 4 year old daughter are not

celiac, but my 7 year old son is - what does she think I'm going to

do?!?!!! Open it and say "Sorry - your beloved Aunt gave this

to us but it's only for us 3 - you can't eat it?!!!!" If it was a

friend that didn't quite understand - I'd say thank you, keep my

mouth closed and give it away later on -- but we see this woman

quite often - my son has slept overnight at her house (got to re-

think that!!!) How can people be so insensitive!!! I thought

she "got it", but apparently does not.

Although I don't really post, this site has provided me with

invaluable information and support!!! Thank you to all of you!!!

Regards,

Lori

mom to 7 celiac and 4 (not celiac and could eat anything,

but is extremely picky!!)

[Guest guest]

> I buy cosmetics from a's Choice because they are all fragrance-free,

> non-irritating. I just checked her website which says clearly which products

> are and aren't gluten-free. Most are gluten free. I'm very happy with all of

> the products I've gotten there. Site is: www.cosmeticscop.com

> <http://www.cosmeticscop.com/>

I also use a's Choice. Ingredients are clearly listed. She even has a

directory of cosmetic ingredients so you know why each ingredient is used (I

think this is on the website, but it might be in one of her books). Her books

are great BTW and I am not connected with her site/company at all. Just pleased

with the products.