Re: People bringing glutened goods into your home

December 31, 2005

.. Am I wrong to be annoyed at what they did? How would you handle it

the next time?

> >

> susan, being annoyed is just a feeling----and feelings are never

right or wrong, they're just feelings. i think i would have felt the

same way as you. they probably thought they were being thoughtful in

bringing the treats. maybe the next time, you could thank them and

tell them how much you appreciated them bringing things in the past,

but that it would just be easier on your boys if you did all the

baking-------and i guess if they really want to bring something, tell

them you have recipes.

christine

>

December 31, 2005

.. Am I wrong to be annoyed at what they did? How would you handle it

the next time?

> >

> susan, being annoyed is just a feeling----and feelings are never

right or wrong, they're just feelings. i think i would have felt the

same way as you. they probably thought they were being thoughtful in

bringing the treats. maybe the next time, you could thank them and

tell them how much you appreciated them bringing things in the past,

but that it would just be easier on your boys if you did all the

baking-------and i guess if they really want to bring something, tell

them you have recipes.

christine

>

December 31, 2005

.. Am I wrong to be annoyed at what they did? How would you handle it

the next time?

> >

> susan, being annoyed is just a feeling----and feelings are never

right or wrong, they're just feelings. i think i would have felt the

same way as you. they probably thought they were being thoughtful in

bringing the treats. maybe the next time, you could thank them and

tell them how much you appreciated them bringing things in the past,

but that it would just be easier on your boys if you did all the

baking-------and i guess if they really want to bring something, tell

them you have recipes.

christine

>

December 31, 2005

You have every right to be annoyed.Your children will become ill with these comfort foods that were brought to you.You need to be on guard for their health.

I would call these relatives and let them know that you loved hosting them but in the future you will call them and ask them to bring specific foods rather than baking.You can ask for a fruit/veggie platter , shrimp or other sea food and prepackaged gluten free foods.You can explain that if they feel the need for a piece of pie, they can go to a restaurant and enjoy one.

Good luck,

Doreen

People bringing glutened goods into your home

I just sent off 10 house guests who were here for 4 nights. My three boys ages 13, 11 and 6 have celiac. The guests were my husbands parents and all of his siblings and their children. The only other "children" in the group were ages 2, 20 and 22. We were celebrating my husbands parents 60th wedding anniversary - what an accomplishment!

At any rate, I was caught off guard when all of them, including the grandparents walked in with tons of cakes, homemade cookies, banana bread, pies, etc. - all of it glutened. They are well aware of our children's condition and all of the limitations. We have stayed at their homes since diagnosis and we have sent them articles and emails giving them info on the condition. We have shared with them how hard it is for the boys to be around all of the things they can't have and what an issue cross contamination is - you should see the CRUMBS on my counter, floor, etc.

Interestingly enough, I had baked alot of GF items and people scarfed them up. They didn't eat their own baking until ours was gone, which left me to do additional baking for the boys. That part was a good thing because my kids liked that others like the GF pies, etc.

I am surprised that no one at least called me to ask if it was ok. They are my in-laws and not my own family and I think that is part of it. My mom and sister have knocked themselves out to bake gluten-free when we visit or when they visit us. They would not think of bringing glutened items into our home.

As they were packing to leave last night, I did invite them to take all of the left over baked goods home. I said, "The boys can't have them and Randy and I do not eat those things in front of them." Hint hint.

I am just looking for some clear perspective that I might not have. My inlaws have treated our children dufferently all along (the other grandchildren are children of their daughters) , so I am wondering if my feelings on this are just "carry over" from previous issues not related to the celiac. It is obvious that my husband thinks what they did is fine, but that would be a whole other chapter.

I would like your input on two things. Am I wrong to be annoyed at what they did? How would you handle it the next time?

Thanks,

in GA

December 31, 2005

You have every right to be annoyed.Your children will become ill with these comfort foods that were brought to you.You need to be on guard for their health.

I would call these relatives and let them know that you loved hosting them but in the future you will call them and ask them to bring specific foods rather than baking.You can ask for a fruit/veggie platter , shrimp or other sea food and prepackaged gluten free foods.You can explain that if they feel the need for a piece of pie, they can go to a restaurant and enjoy one.

Good luck,

Doreen

People bringing glutened goods into your home

I just sent off 10 house guests who were here for 4 nights. My three boys ages 13, 11 and 6 have celiac. The guests were my husbands parents and all of his siblings and their children. The only other "children" in the group were ages 2, 20 and 22. We were celebrating my husbands parents 60th wedding anniversary - what an accomplishment!

At any rate, I was caught off guard when all of them, including the grandparents walked in with tons of cakes, homemade cookies, banana bread, pies, etc. - all of it glutened. They are well aware of our children's condition and all of the limitations. We have stayed at their homes since diagnosis and we have sent them articles and emails giving them info on the condition. We have shared with them how hard it is for the boys to be around all of the things they can't have and what an issue cross contamination is - you should see the CRUMBS on my counter, floor, etc.

Interestingly enough, I had baked alot of GF items and people scarfed them up. They didn't eat their own baking until ours was gone, which left me to do additional baking for the boys. That part was a good thing because my kids liked that others like the GF pies, etc.

I am surprised that no one at least called me to ask if it was ok. They are my in-laws and not my own family and I think that is part of it. My mom and sister have knocked themselves out to bake gluten-free when we visit or when they visit us. They would not think of bringing glutened items into our home.

As they were packing to leave last night, I did invite them to take all of the left over baked goods home. I said, "The boys can't have them and Randy and I do not eat those things in front of them." Hint hint.

I am just looking for some clear perspective that I might not have. My inlaws have treated our children dufferently all along (the other grandchildren are children of their daughters) , so I am wondering if my feelings on this are just "carry over" from previous issues not related to the celiac. It is obvious that my husband thinks what they did is fine, but that would be a whole other chapter.

I would like your input on two things. Am I wrong to be annoyed at what they did? How would you handle it the next time?

Thanks,

in GA

December 31, 2005

>

> I just sent off 10 house guests who were here for 4 nights.

What's that saying?? " Fish and family stink after 3 days " ???

Laugh!

Anyway, I'd be TRULY annoyed. I would have shown them the

front door and given them the phone number for a nearby

hotel.

I'm the only celiac in my house and I'm an adult (at least

one day a week). And *I* find it annoying to be around

glutened goodies. It would be a million times worse if it

were my childrens' health at stake.

I'm so sorry. Wish I could be there to help you degluten

the place.

Hugs. Esther

December 31, 2005

>

> I just sent off 10 house guests who were here for 4 nights.

What's that saying?? " Fish and family stink after 3 days " ???

Laugh!

Anyway, I'd be TRULY annoyed. I would have shown them the

front door and given them the phone number for a nearby

hotel.

I'm the only celiac in my house and I'm an adult (at least

one day a week). And *I* find it annoying to be around

glutened goodies. It would be a million times worse if it

were my childrens' health at stake.

I'm so sorry. Wish I could be there to help you degluten

the place.

Hugs. Esther

December 31, 2005

>

> I just sent off 10 house guests who were here for 4 nights.

What's that saying?? " Fish and family stink after 3 days " ???

Laugh!

Anyway, I'd be TRULY annoyed. I would have shown them the

front door and given them the phone number for a nearby

hotel.

I'm the only celiac in my house and I'm an adult (at least

one day a week). And *I* find it annoying to be around

glutened goodies. It would be a million times worse if it

were my childrens' health at stake.

I'm so sorry. Wish I could be there to help you degluten

the place.

Hugs. Esther

December 31, 2005

I had this happen tonight actually. It does really irritate me!

However, I don’t think they mean any

real harm – I think they are just clueless. My SIL brought a plate of baked gluten

things and NO ONE ate any of them. They only ate the desserts I

provided. I think she just wanted

to feel that she was contributing and not just being a bum by not bringing

anything. Even tho I had very

specifically asked her not to bring anything – grr. I think usually these are well meaning

goobers that just don’t understand what a sense of loss comes from seeing

others enjoy what used to be favorite foods that are now out of reach.

I truthfully am not even tempted – I

felt so bad before that I have no desire to cheat. But I do grieve for my kids – they really

do feel sad when they see these forbidden things and I don’t want them to

have to see them in our home. Fortunately,

they didn’t feel so bad when the cousins bad mouthed the purchased treats

they brought and were thrilled to eat ours.

I don’t have this happen often but I

do find it both stressful and annoying when it does. I do always set up the off limits things

in a different area in case of contamination and watch it like a hawk.

If it is a really crumbly item I put it up

completely and tell them that I am uncomfortable taking the risk in my home. I tell them we appreciate the thought,

but we’ll save it for them to enjoy after they leave. And I only intend to deal with it once

with each group of people. I will

be more specific with these relatives next time and assign her a fruit salad if

she feels awkward coming emptyhanded.

Becky

From: SillyYaks

[mailto:SillyYaks ] On Behalf

Of ozonasusan@...

Sent: Saturday, December 31, 2005

12:25 PM

To: SillyYaks

Subject: People

bringing glutened goods into your home

I just sent off 10 house guests who were here for 4

nights. My three boys ages 13, 11 and 6 have celiac. The guests

were my husbands parents and all of his siblings and their children. The

only other " children " in the group were ages 2, 20 and 22. We

were celebrating my husbands parents 60th wedding anniversary - what an

accomplishment!

At any rate, I was caught off guard when all of them,

including the grandparents walked in with tons of cakes, homemade cookies,

banana bread, pies, etc. - all of it glutened. They are well aware of our

children's condition and all of the limitations. We have stayed at their

homes since diagnosis and we have sent them articles and emails giving them

info on the condition. We have shared with them how hard it is for the

boys to be around all of the things they can't have and what an issue cross

contamination is - you should see the CRUMBS on my counter, floor, etc.

Interestingly enough, I had baked alot of GF items and

people scarfed them up. They didn't eat their own baking until ours was

gone, which left me to do additional baking for the boys. That part was a

good thing because my kids liked that others like the GF pies, etc.

I am surprised that no one at least called me to ask if it

was ok. They are my in-laws and not my own family and I think that is

part of it. My mom and sister have knocked themselves out to bake

gluten-free when we visit or when they visit us. They would not think of

bringing glutened items into our home.

As they were packing to leave last night, I did invite

them to take all of the left over baked goods home. I said, " The

boys can't have them and Randy and I do not eat those things in front of

them. " Hint hint.

I am just looking for some clear perspective that I might

not have. My inlaws have treated our children dufferently all

along (the other grandchildren are children of their daughters) , so I am

wondering if my feelings on this are just " carry over " from previous

issues not related to the celiac. It is obvious that my husband thinks

what they did is fine, but that would be a whole other chapter.

I would like your input on two things. Am I wrong to

be annoyed at what they did? How would you handle it the next time?

Thanks,

in GA

December 31, 2005

I had this happen tonight actually. It does really irritate me!

However, I don’t think they mean any

real harm – I think they are just clueless. My SIL brought a plate of baked gluten

things and NO ONE ate any of them. They only ate the desserts I

provided. I think she just wanted

to feel that she was contributing and not just being a bum by not bringing

anything. Even tho I had very

specifically asked her not to bring anything – grr. I think usually these are well meaning

goobers that just don’t understand what a sense of loss comes from seeing

others enjoy what used to be favorite foods that are now out of reach.

I truthfully am not even tempted – I

felt so bad before that I have no desire to cheat. But I do grieve for my kids – they really

do feel sad when they see these forbidden things and I don’t want them to

have to see them in our home. Fortunately,

they didn’t feel so bad when the cousins bad mouthed the purchased treats

they brought and were thrilled to eat ours.

I don’t have this happen often but I

do find it both stressful and annoying when it does. I do always set up the off limits things

in a different area in case of contamination and watch it like a hawk.

If it is a really crumbly item I put it up

completely and tell them that I am uncomfortable taking the risk in my home. I tell them we appreciate the thought,

but we’ll save it for them to enjoy after they leave. And I only intend to deal with it once

with each group of people. I will

be more specific with these relatives next time and assign her a fruit salad if

she feels awkward coming emptyhanded.

Becky

From: SillyYaks

[mailto:SillyYaks ] On Behalf

Of ozonasusan@...

Sent: Saturday, December 31, 2005

12:25 PM

To: SillyYaks

Subject: People

bringing glutened goods into your home

I just sent off 10 house guests who were here for 4

nights. My three boys ages 13, 11 and 6 have celiac. The guests

were my husbands parents and all of his siblings and their children. The

only other " children " in the group were ages 2, 20 and 22. We

were celebrating my husbands parents 60th wedding anniversary - what an

accomplishment!

At any rate, I was caught off guard when all of them,

including the grandparents walked in with tons of cakes, homemade cookies,

banana bread, pies, etc. - all of it glutened. They are well aware of our

children's condition and all of the limitations. We have stayed at their

homes since diagnosis and we have sent them articles and emails giving them

info on the condition. We have shared with them how hard it is for the

boys to be around all of the things they can't have and what an issue cross

contamination is - you should see the CRUMBS on my counter, floor, etc.

Interestingly enough, I had baked alot of GF items and

people scarfed them up. They didn't eat their own baking until ours was

gone, which left me to do additional baking for the boys. That part was a

good thing because my kids liked that others like the GF pies, etc.

I am surprised that no one at least called me to ask if it

was ok. They are my in-laws and not my own family and I think that is

part of it. My mom and sister have knocked themselves out to bake

gluten-free when we visit or when they visit us. They would not think of

bringing glutened items into our home.

As they were packing to leave last night, I did invite

them to take all of the left over baked goods home. I said, " The

boys can't have them and Randy and I do not eat those things in front of

them. " Hint hint.

I am just looking for some clear perspective that I might

not have. My inlaws have treated our children dufferently all

along (the other grandchildren are children of their daughters) , so I am

wondering if my feelings on this are just " carry over " from previous

issues not related to the celiac. It is obvious that my husband thinks

what they did is fine, but that would be a whole other chapter.

I would like your input on two things. Am I wrong to

be annoyed at what they did? How would you handle it the next time?

Thanks,

in GA

December 31, 2005

I had this happen tonight actually. It does really irritate me!

However, I don’t think they mean any

real harm – I think they are just clueless. My SIL brought a plate of baked gluten

things and NO ONE ate any of them. They only ate the desserts I

provided. I think she just wanted

to feel that she was contributing and not just being a bum by not bringing

anything. Even tho I had very

specifically asked her not to bring anything – grr. I think usually these are well meaning

goobers that just don’t understand what a sense of loss comes from seeing

others enjoy what used to be favorite foods that are now out of reach.

I truthfully am not even tempted – I

felt so bad before that I have no desire to cheat. But I do grieve for my kids – they really

do feel sad when they see these forbidden things and I don’t want them to

have to see them in our home. Fortunately,

they didn’t feel so bad when the cousins bad mouthed the purchased treats

they brought and were thrilled to eat ours.

I don’t have this happen often but I

do find it both stressful and annoying when it does. I do always set up the off limits things

in a different area in case of contamination and watch it like a hawk.

If it is a really crumbly item I put it up

completely and tell them that I am uncomfortable taking the risk in my home. I tell them we appreciate the thought,

but we’ll save it for them to enjoy after they leave. And I only intend to deal with it once

with each group of people. I will

be more specific with these relatives next time and assign her a fruit salad if

she feels awkward coming emptyhanded.

Becky

From: SillyYaks

[mailto:SillyYaks ] On Behalf

Of ozonasusan@...

Sent: Saturday, December 31, 2005

12:25 PM

To: SillyYaks

Subject: People

bringing glutened goods into your home

I just sent off 10 house guests who were here for 4

nights. My three boys ages 13, 11 and 6 have celiac. The guests

were my husbands parents and all of his siblings and their children. The

only other " children " in the group were ages 2, 20 and 22. We

were celebrating my husbands parents 60th wedding anniversary - what an

accomplishment!

At any rate, I was caught off guard when all of them,

including the grandparents walked in with tons of cakes, homemade cookies,

banana bread, pies, etc. - all of it glutened. They are well aware of our

children's condition and all of the limitations. We have stayed at their

homes since diagnosis and we have sent them articles and emails giving them

info on the condition. We have shared with them how hard it is for the

boys to be around all of the things they can't have and what an issue cross

contamination is - you should see the CRUMBS on my counter, floor, etc.

Interestingly enough, I had baked alot of GF items and

people scarfed them up. They didn't eat their own baking until ours was

gone, which left me to do additional baking for the boys. That part was a

good thing because my kids liked that others like the GF pies, etc.

I am surprised that no one at least called me to ask if it

was ok. They are my in-laws and not my own family and I think that is

part of it. My mom and sister have knocked themselves out to bake

gluten-free when we visit or when they visit us. They would not think of

bringing glutened items into our home.

As they were packing to leave last night, I did invite

them to take all of the left over baked goods home. I said, " The

boys can't have them and Randy and I do not eat those things in front of

them. " Hint hint.

I am just looking for some clear perspective that I might

not have. My inlaws have treated our children dufferently all

along (the other grandchildren are children of their daughters) , so I am

wondering if my feelings on this are just " carry over " from previous

issues not related to the celiac. It is obvious that my husband thinks

what they did is fine, but that would be a whole other chapter.

I would like your input on two things. Am I wrong to

be annoyed at what they did? How would you handle it the next time?

Thanks,

in GA

January 1, 2006

Feelings are exactly what another poster said, neither right or wrong. Becky also makes a good point here about people not wanting to be empty handed when they show up (especially those that are staying!!), that would be their feelings. Either way, it may not have been the best choice of things your guest could bring, but I guess I don't think they were " wrong " in their gesture unless you specifically made clear to them that no gluten is allowed in your house. In something like Celiac, I've learned that people don't get the subtle hints so they may not understand the lengths you have to go to to be GF (we had a recent fondue incident that I had to explain to my husbands family that once you dip a pretzel into the chocolate, I'm out - they put the pretzels away!) and how their baked goods are a problem. My feeling would be that this was a live and learn lesson, but if next time under specific no gluten orders they still bring them, then it's a whole new ballgame!

On Sun, 1 Jan 2006 00:54:42 -0600, richabec wrote

> I had this happen tonight actually. It does really irritate me!

>

> However, I don’t think they mean any real harm – I think they are just clueless. My SIL brought a plate of baked gluten things and NO ONE ate any of them. They only ate the desserts I provided. I think she just wanted to feel that she was contributing and not just being a bum by not bringing anything. Even tho I had very specifically asked her not to bring anything – grr. I think usually these are well meaning goobers that just don’t understand what a sense of loss comes from seeing others enjoy what used to be favorite foods that are now out of reach.

>

> I truthfully am not even tempted – I felt so bad before that I have no desire to cheat. But I do grieve for my kids – they really do feel sad when they see these forbidden things and I don’t want them to have to see them in our home. Fortunately, they didn’t feel so bad when the cousins bad mouthed the purchased treats they brought and were thrilled to eat ours.

>

> I don’t have this happen often but I do find it both stressful and annoying when it does. I do always set up the off limits things in a different area in case of contamination and watch it like a hawk.

>

> If it is a really crumbly item I put it up completely and tell them that I am uncomfortable taking the risk in my home. I tell them we appreciate the thought, but we’ll save it for them to enjoy after they leave. And I only intend to deal with it once with each group of people. I will be more specific with these relatives next time and assign her a fruit salad if she feels awkward coming emptyhanded.

>

> Becky

>

> >

> From: SillyYaks [mailto:SillyYaks ] On Behalf Of ozonasusan@...

> Sent: Saturday, December 31, 2005 12:25 PM

> To: SillyYaks

> Subject: People bringing glutened goods into your home

>

> > I just sent off 10 house guests who were here for 4 nights. My three boys ages 13, 11 and 6 have celiac. The guests were my husbands parents and all of his siblings and their children. The only other " children " in the group were ages 2, 20 and 22. We were celebrating my husbands parents 60th wedding anniversary - what an accomplishment!

> >

> > At any rate, I was caught off guard when all of them, including the grandparents walked in with tons of cakes, homemade cookies, banana bread, pies, etc. - all of it glutened. They are well aware of our children's condition and all of the limitations. We have stayed at their homes since diagnosis and we have sent them articles and emails giving them info on the condition. We have shared with them how hard it is for the boys to be around all of the things they can't have and what an issue cross contamination is - you should see the CRUMBS on my counter, floor, etc.

> >

> > Interestingly enough, I had baked alot of GF items and people scarfed them up. They didn't eat their own baking until ours was gone, which left me to do additional baking for the boys. That part was a good thing because my kids liked that others like the GF pies, etc.

> >

> > I am surprised that no one at least called me to ask if it was ok. They are my in-laws and not my own family and I think that is part of it. My mom and sister have knocked themselves out to bake gluten-free when we visit or when they visit us. They would not think of bringing glutened items into our home.

> >

> > As they were packing to leave last night, I did invite them to take all of the left over baked goods home. I said, " The boys can't have them and Randy and I do not eat those things in front of them. " Hint hint.

> >

> > I am just looking for some clear perspective that I might not have. My inlaws have treated our children dufferently all along (the other grandchildren are children of their daughters) , so I am wondering if my feelings on this are just " carry over " from previous issues not related to the celiac. It is obvious that my husband thinks what they did is fine, but that would be a whole other chapter.

> >

> > I would like your input on two things. Am I wrong to be annoyed at what they did? How would you handle it the next time?

> >

> > Thanks,

> >

> > in GA

>

> >

>

> >

January 1, 2006

Feelings are exactly what another poster said, neither right or wrong. Becky also makes a good point here about people not wanting to be empty handed when they show up (especially those that are staying!!), that would be their feelings. Either way, it may not have been the best choice of things your guest could bring, but I guess I don't think they were " wrong " in their gesture unless you specifically made clear to them that no gluten is allowed in your house. In something like Celiac, I've learned that people don't get the subtle hints so they may not understand the lengths you have to go to to be GF (we had a recent fondue incident that I had to explain to my husbands family that once you dip a pretzel into the chocolate, I'm out - they put the pretzels away!) and how their baked goods are a problem. My feeling would be that this was a live and learn lesson, but if next time under specific no gluten orders they still bring them, then it's a whole new ballgame!

On Sun, 1 Jan 2006 00:54:42 -0600, richabec wrote

> I had this happen tonight actually. It does really irritate me!

>

> However, I don’t think they mean any real harm – I think they are just clueless. My SIL brought a plate of baked gluten things and NO ONE ate any of them. They only ate the desserts I provided. I think she just wanted to feel that she was contributing and not just being a bum by not bringing anything. Even tho I had very specifically asked her not to bring anything – grr. I think usually these are well meaning goobers that just don’t understand what a sense of loss comes from seeing others enjoy what used to be favorite foods that are now out of reach.

>

> I truthfully am not even tempted – I felt so bad before that I have no desire to cheat. But I do grieve for my kids – they really do feel sad when they see these forbidden things and I don’t want them to have to see them in our home. Fortunately, they didn’t feel so bad when the cousins bad mouthed the purchased treats they brought and were thrilled to eat ours.

>

> I don’t have this happen often but I do find it both stressful and annoying when it does. I do always set up the off limits things in a different area in case of contamination and watch it like a hawk.

>

> If it is a really crumbly item I put it up completely and tell them that I am uncomfortable taking the risk in my home. I tell them we appreciate the thought, but we’ll save it for them to enjoy after they leave. And I only intend to deal with it once with each group of people. I will be more specific with these relatives next time and assign her a fruit salad if she feels awkward coming emptyhanded.

>

> Becky

>

> >

> From: SillyYaks [mailto:SillyYaks ] On Behalf Of ozonasusan@...

> Sent: Saturday, December 31, 2005 12:25 PM

> To: SillyYaks

> Subject: People bringing glutened goods into your home

>

> > I just sent off 10 house guests who were here for 4 nights. My three boys ages 13, 11 and 6 have celiac. The guests were my husbands parents and all of his siblings and their children. The only other " children " in the group were ages 2, 20 and 22. We were celebrating my husbands parents 60th wedding anniversary - what an accomplishment!

> >

> > At any rate, I was caught off guard when all of them, including the grandparents walked in with tons of cakes, homemade cookies, banana bread, pies, etc. - all of it glutened. They are well aware of our children's condition and all of the limitations. We have stayed at their homes since diagnosis and we have sent them articles and emails giving them info on the condition. We have shared with them how hard it is for the boys to be around all of the things they can't have and what an issue cross contamination is - you should see the CRUMBS on my counter, floor, etc.

> >

> > Interestingly enough, I had baked alot of GF items and people scarfed them up. They didn't eat their own baking until ours was gone, which left me to do additional baking for the boys. That part was a good thing because my kids liked that others like the GF pies, etc.

> >

> > I am surprised that no one at least called me to ask if it was ok. They are my in-laws and not my own family and I think that is part of it. My mom and sister have knocked themselves out to bake gluten-free when we visit or when they visit us. They would not think of bringing glutened items into our home.

> >

> > As they were packing to leave last night, I did invite them to take all of the left over baked goods home. I said, " The boys can't have them and Randy and I do not eat those things in front of them. " Hint hint.

> >

> > I am just looking for some clear perspective that I might not have. My inlaws have treated our children dufferently all along (the other grandchildren are children of their daughters) , so I am wondering if my feelings on this are just " carry over " from previous issues not related to the celiac. It is obvious that my husband thinks what they did is fine, but that would be a whole other chapter.

> >

> > I would like your input on two things. Am I wrong to be annoyed at what they did? How would you handle it the next time?

> >

> > Thanks,

> >

> > in GA

>

> >

>

> >

January 1, 2006

Feelings are exactly what another poster said, neither right or wrong. Becky also makes a good point here about people not wanting to be empty handed when they show up (especially those that are staying!!), that would be their feelings. Either way, it may not have been the best choice of things your guest could bring, but I guess I don't think they were " wrong " in their gesture unless you specifically made clear to them that no gluten is allowed in your house. In something like Celiac, I've learned that people don't get the subtle hints so they may not understand the lengths you have to go to to be GF (we had a recent fondue incident that I had to explain to my husbands family that once you dip a pretzel into the chocolate, I'm out - they put the pretzels away!) and how their baked goods are a problem. My feeling would be that this was a live and learn lesson, but if next time under specific no gluten orders they still bring them, then it's a whole new ballgame!

On Sun, 1 Jan 2006 00:54:42 -0600, richabec wrote

> I had this happen tonight actually. It does really irritate me!

>

> However, I don’t think they mean any real harm – I think they are just clueless. My SIL brought a plate of baked gluten things and NO ONE ate any of them. They only ate the desserts I provided. I think she just wanted to feel that she was contributing and not just being a bum by not bringing anything. Even tho I had very specifically asked her not to bring anything – grr. I think usually these are well meaning goobers that just don’t understand what a sense of loss comes from seeing others enjoy what used to be favorite foods that are now out of reach.

>

> I truthfully am not even tempted – I felt so bad before that I have no desire to cheat. But I do grieve for my kids – they really do feel sad when they see these forbidden things and I don’t want them to have to see them in our home. Fortunately, they didn’t feel so bad when the cousins bad mouthed the purchased treats they brought and were thrilled to eat ours.

>

> I don’t have this happen often but I do find it both stressful and annoying when it does. I do always set up the off limits things in a different area in case of contamination and watch it like a hawk.

>

> If it is a really crumbly item I put it up completely and tell them that I am uncomfortable taking the risk in my home. I tell them we appreciate the thought, but we’ll save it for them to enjoy after they leave. And I only intend to deal with it once with each group of people. I will be more specific with these relatives next time and assign her a fruit salad if she feels awkward coming emptyhanded.

>

> Becky

>

> >

> From: SillyYaks [mailto:SillyYaks ] On Behalf Of ozonasusan@...

> Sent: Saturday, December 31, 2005 12:25 PM

> To: SillyYaks

> Subject: People bringing glutened goods into your home

>

> > I just sent off 10 house guests who were here for 4 nights. My three boys ages 13, 11 and 6 have celiac. The guests were my husbands parents and all of his siblings and their children. The only other " children " in the group were ages 2, 20 and 22. We were celebrating my husbands parents 60th wedding anniversary - what an accomplishment!

> >

> > At any rate, I was caught off guard when all of them, including the grandparents walked in with tons of cakes, homemade cookies, banana bread, pies, etc. - all of it glutened. They are well aware of our children's condition and all of the limitations. We have stayed at their homes since diagnosis and we have sent them articles and emails giving them info on the condition. We have shared with them how hard it is for the boys to be around all of the things they can't have and what an issue cross contamination is - you should see the CRUMBS on my counter, floor, etc.

> >

> > Interestingly enough, I had baked alot of GF items and people scarfed them up. They didn't eat their own baking until ours was gone, which left me to do additional baking for the boys. That part was a good thing because my kids liked that others like the GF pies, etc.

> >

> > I am surprised that no one at least called me to ask if it was ok. They are my in-laws and not my own family and I think that is part of it. My mom and sister have knocked themselves out to bake gluten-free when we visit or when they visit us. They would not think of bringing glutened items into our home.

> >

> > As they were packing to leave last night, I did invite them to take all of the left over baked goods home. I said, " The boys can't have them and Randy and I do not eat those things in front of them. " Hint hint.

> >

> > I am just looking for some clear perspective that I might not have. My inlaws have treated our children dufferently all along (the other grandchildren are children of their daughters) , so I am wondering if my feelings on this are just " carry over " from previous issues not related to the celiac. It is obvious that my husband thinks what they did is fine, but that would be a whole other chapter.

> >

> > I would like your input on two things. Am I wrong to be annoyed at what they did? How would you handle it the next time?

> >

> > Thanks,

> >

> > in GA

>

> >

>

> >

January 1, 2006

I thought I might drop a note to say that I have

learned that many, many people don't have much empathy

for anything they haven't experienced themselves.

Does that make sense? I would be very upset if your

situation happened to me, but my mom constantly

reminds me that you cannot educate the ignorant. I

try really hard not to get upset at other people's

reactions to the things I try to explain to them....

It just makes me upset and sick over it, no one else.

..... San , CA

--- lucky3668@... wrote:

> Feelings are exactly what another poster said,

> neither right or wrong. Becky also makes a good

> point here about people not wanting to be empty

> handed when they show up (especially those that are

> staying!!), that would be their feelings. Either

> way, it may not have been the best choice of things

> your guest could bring, but I guess I don't think

> they were " wrong " in their gesture unless you

> specifically made clear to them that no gluten is

> allowed in your house. In something like Celiac,

> I've learned that people don't get the subtle hints

> so they may not understand the lengths you have to

> go to to be GF (we had a recent fondue incident that

> I had to explain to my husbands family that once you

> dip a pretzel into the chocolate, I'm out - they put

> the pretzels away!) and how their baked goods are a

> problem. My feeling would be that this was a live

> and learn lesson, but if next time under specific no

> gluten orders they still bring them, then it's a

> whole new ballgame!

>

> On Sun, 1 Jan 2006 00:54:42 -0600, richabec wrote

> > I had this happen tonight actually. It does

> really irritate me!

>

> >

>

> > However, I don’t think they mean any real harm – I

> think they are just clueless. My SIL brought a

> plate of baked gluten things and NO ONE ate any of

> them. They only ate the desserts I provided. I

> think she just wanted to feel that she was

> contributing and not just being a bum by not

> bringing anything. Even tho I had very specifically

> asked her not to bring anything – grr. I think

> usually these are well meaning goobers that just

> don’t understand what a sense of loss comes from

> seeing others enjoy what used to be favorite foods

> that are now out of reach.

>

> >

>

> > I truthfully am not even tempted – I felt so bad

> before that I have no desire to cheat. But I do

> grieve for my kids – they really do feel sad when

> they see these forbidden things and I don’t want

> them to have to see them in our home. Fortunately,

> they didn’t feel so bad when the cousins bad mouthed

> the purchased treats they brought and were thrilled

> to eat ours.

>

> >

>

> > I don’t have this happen often but I do find it

> both stressful and annoying when it does. I do

> always set up the off limits things in a different

> area in case of contamination and watch it like a

> hawk.

>

> >

>

> > If it is a really crumbly item I put it up

> completely and tell them that I am uncomfortable

> taking the risk in my home. I tell them we

> appreciate the thought, but we’ll save it for them

> to enjoy after they leave. And I only intend to

> deal with it once with each group of people. I will

> be more specific with these relatives next time and

> assign her a fruit salad if she feels awkward coming

> emptyhanded.

>

> >

>

> > Becky

>

> >

>

> >

>

> > From: SillyYaks

> [mailto:SillyYaks ] On Behalf Of

> ozonasusan@...

> > Sent: Saturday, December 31, 2005 12:25 PM

> > To: SillyYaks

> > Subject: People bringing glutened

> goods into your home

>

> >

>

> >

> > I just sent off 10 house guests who were here for

> 4 nights. My three boys ages 13, 11 and 6 have

> celiac. The guests were my husbands parents and all

> of his siblings and their children. The only other

> " children " in the group were ages 2, 20 and 22. We

> were celebrating my husbands parents 60th wedding

> anniversary - what an accomplishment!

>

> >

>

> >

> > At any rate, I was caught off guard when all of

> them, including the grandparents walked in with tons

> of cakes, homemade cookies, banana bread, pies, etc.

> - all of it glutened. They are well aware of our

> children's condition and all of the limitations. We

> have stayed at their homes since diagnosis and we

> have sent them articles and emails giving them info

> on the condition. We have shared with them how hard

> it is for the boys to be around all of the things

> they can't have and what an issue cross

> contamination is - you should see the CRUMBS on my

> counter, floor, etc.

>

> >

>

> >

> > Interestingly enough, I had baked alot of GF items

> and people scarfed them up. They didn't eat their

> own baking until ours was gone, which left me to do

> additional baking for the boys. That part was a

> good thing because my kids liked that others like

> the GF pies, etc.

>

> >

>

> >

> > I am surprised that no one at least called me to

> ask if it was ok. They are my in-laws and not my

> own family and I think that is part of it. My mom

> and sister have knocked themselves out to bake

> gluten-free when we visit or when they visit us.

> They would not think of bringing glutened items into

> our home.

>

> >

>

> >

> > As they were packing to leave last night, I did

> invite them to take all of the left over baked goods

> home. I said, " The boys can't have them and Randy

> and I do not eat those things in front of them. "

> Hint hint.

>

> >

>

> >

> > I am just looking for some clear perspective that

> I might not have. My inlaws have treated our

> children dufferently all along (the other

> grandchildren are children of their daughters) , so

> I am wondering if my feelings on this are just

> " carry over " from previous issues not related to the

> celiac. It is obvious that my husband thinks what

> they did is fine, but that would be a whole other

> chapter.

>

> >

>

> >

> > I would like your input on two things. Am I wrong

> to be annoyed at what they did? How would you

> handle it the next time?

>

> >

>

> >

> > Thanks,

>

> >

>

> >

> > in GA

>

> >

>

=== message truncated ===

Lee Manes

San , CA

__________________________________

Yahoo! for Good - Make a difference this year.

http://brand.yahoo.com/cybergivingweek2005/

January 1, 2006

I thought I might drop a note to say that I have

learned that many, many people don't have much empathy

for anything they haven't experienced themselves.

Does that make sense? I would be very upset if your

situation happened to me, but my mom constantly

reminds me that you cannot educate the ignorant. I

try really hard not to get upset at other people's

reactions to the things I try to explain to them....

It just makes me upset and sick over it, no one else.

..... San , CA

--- lucky3668@... wrote:

> Feelings are exactly what another poster said,

> neither right or wrong. Becky also makes a good

> point here about people not wanting to be empty

> handed when they show up (especially those that are

> staying!!), that would be their feelings. Either

> way, it may not have been the best choice of things

> your guest could bring, but I guess I don't think

> they were " wrong " in their gesture unless you

> specifically made clear to them that no gluten is

> allowed in your house. In something like Celiac,

> I've learned that people don't get the subtle hints

> so they may not understand the lengths you have to

> go to to be GF (we had a recent fondue incident that

> I had to explain to my husbands family that once you

> dip a pretzel into the chocolate, I'm out - they put

> the pretzels away!) and how their baked goods are a

> problem. My feeling would be that this was a live

> and learn lesson, but if next time under specific no

> gluten orders they still bring them, then it's a

> whole new ballgame!

>

> On Sun, 1 Jan 2006 00:54:42 -0600, richabec wrote

> > I had this happen tonight actually. It does

> really irritate me!

>

> >

>

> > However, I don’t think they mean any real harm – I

> think they are just clueless. My SIL brought a

> plate of baked gluten things and NO ONE ate any of

> them. They only ate the desserts I provided. I

> think she just wanted to feel that she was

> contributing and not just being a bum by not

> bringing anything. Even tho I had very specifically

> asked her not to bring anything – grr. I think

> usually these are well meaning goobers that just

> don’t understand what a sense of loss comes from

> seeing others enjoy what used to be favorite foods

> that are now out of reach.

>

> >

>

> > I truthfully am not even tempted – I felt so bad

> before that I have no desire to cheat. But I do

> grieve for my kids – they really do feel sad when

> they see these forbidden things and I don’t want

> them to have to see them in our home. Fortunately,

> they didn’t feel so bad when the cousins bad mouthed

> the purchased treats they brought and were thrilled

> to eat ours.

>

> >

>

> > I don’t have this happen often but I do find it

> both stressful and annoying when it does. I do

> always set up the off limits things in a different

> area in case of contamination and watch it like a

> hawk.

>

> >

>

> > If it is a really crumbly item I put it up

> completely and tell them that I am uncomfortable

> taking the risk in my home. I tell them we

> appreciate the thought, but we’ll save it for them

> to enjoy after they leave. And I only intend to

> deal with it once with each group of people. I will

> be more specific with these relatives next time and

> assign her a fruit salad if she feels awkward coming

> emptyhanded.

>

> >

>

> > Becky

>

> >

>

> >

>

> > From: SillyYaks

> [mailto:SillyYaks ] On Behalf Of

> ozonasusan@...

> > Sent: Saturday, December 31, 2005 12:25 PM

> > To: SillyYaks

> > Subject: People bringing glutened

> goods into your home

>

> >

>

> >

> > I just sent off 10 house guests who were here for

> 4 nights. My three boys ages 13, 11 and 6 have

> celiac. The guests were my husbands parents and all

> of his siblings and their children. The only other

> " children " in the group were ages 2, 20 and 22. We

> were celebrating my husbands parents 60th wedding

> anniversary - what an accomplishment!

>

> >

>

> >

> > At any rate, I was caught off guard when all of

> them, including the grandparents walked in with tons

> of cakes, homemade cookies, banana bread, pies, etc.

> - all of it glutened. They are well aware of our

> children's condition and all of the limitations. We

> have stayed at their homes since diagnosis and we

> have sent them articles and emails giving them info

> on the condition. We have shared with them how hard

> it is for the boys to be around all of the things

> they can't have and what an issue cross

> contamination is - you should see the CRUMBS on my

> counter, floor, etc.

>

> >

>

> >

> > Interestingly enough, I had baked alot of GF items

> and people scarfed them up. They didn't eat their

> own baking until ours was gone, which left me to do

> additional baking for the boys. That part was a

> good thing because my kids liked that others like

> the GF pies, etc.

>

> >

>

> >

> > I am surprised that no one at least called me to

> ask if it was ok. They are my in-laws and not my

> own family and I think that is part of it. My mom

> and sister have knocked themselves out to bake

> gluten-free when we visit or when they visit us.

> They would not think of bringing glutened items into

> our home.

>

> >

>

> >

> > As they were packing to leave last night, I did

> invite them to take all of the left over baked goods

> home. I said, " The boys can't have them and Randy

> and I do not eat those things in front of them. "

> Hint hint.

>

> >

>

> >

> > I am just looking for some clear perspective that

> I might not have. My inlaws have treated our

> children dufferently all along (the other

> grandchildren are children of their daughters) , so

> I am wondering if my feelings on this are just

> " carry over " from previous issues not related to the

> celiac. It is obvious that my husband thinks what

> they did is fine, but that would be a whole other

> chapter.

>

> >

>

> >

> > I would like your input on two things. Am I wrong

> to be annoyed at what they did? How would you

> handle it the next time?

>

> >

>

> >

> > Thanks,

>

> >

>

> >

> > in GA

>

> >

>

=== message truncated ===

Lee Manes

San , CA

__________________________________

Yahoo! for Good - Make a difference this year.

http://brand.yahoo.com/cybergivingweek2005/

January 1, 2006

I thought I might drop a note to say that I have

learned that many, many people don't have much empathy

for anything they haven't experienced themselves.

Does that make sense? I would be very upset if your

situation happened to me, but my mom constantly

reminds me that you cannot educate the ignorant. I

try really hard not to get upset at other people's

reactions to the things I try to explain to them....

It just makes me upset and sick over it, no one else.

..... San , CA

--- lucky3668@... wrote:

> Feelings are exactly what another poster said,

> neither right or wrong. Becky also makes a good

> point here about people not wanting to be empty

> handed when they show up (especially those that are

> staying!!), that would be their feelings. Either

> way, it may not have been the best choice of things

> your guest could bring, but I guess I don't think

> they were " wrong " in their gesture unless you

> specifically made clear to them that no gluten is

> allowed in your house. In something like Celiac,

> I've learned that people don't get the subtle hints

> so they may not understand the lengths you have to

> go to to be GF (we had a recent fondue incident that

> I had to explain to my husbands family that once you

> dip a pretzel into the chocolate, I'm out - they put

> the pretzels away!) and how their baked goods are a

> problem. My feeling would be that this was a live

> and learn lesson, but if next time under specific no

> gluten orders they still bring them, then it's a

> whole new ballgame!

>

> On Sun, 1 Jan 2006 00:54:42 -0600, richabec wrote

> > I had this happen tonight actually. It does

> really irritate me!

>

> >

>

> > However, I don’t think they mean any real harm – I

> think they are just clueless. My SIL brought a

> plate of baked gluten things and NO ONE ate any of

> them. They only ate the desserts I provided. I

> think she just wanted to feel that she was

> contributing and not just being a bum by not

> bringing anything. Even tho I had very specifically

> asked her not to bring anything – grr. I think

> usually these are well meaning goobers that just

> don’t understand what a sense of loss comes from

> seeing others enjoy what used to be favorite foods

> that are now out of reach.

>

> >

>

> > I truthfully am not even tempted – I felt so bad

> before that I have no desire to cheat. But I do

> grieve for my kids – they really do feel sad when

> they see these forbidden things and I don’t want

> them to have to see them in our home. Fortunately,

> they didn’t feel so bad when the cousins bad mouthed

> the purchased treats they brought and were thrilled

> to eat ours.

>

> >

>

> > I don’t have this happen often but I do find it

> both stressful and annoying when it does. I do

> always set up the off limits things in a different

> area in case of contamination and watch it like a

> hawk.

>

> >

>

> > If it is a really crumbly item I put it up

> completely and tell them that I am uncomfortable

> taking the risk in my home. I tell them we

> appreciate the thought, but we’ll save it for them

> to enjoy after they leave. And I only intend to

> deal with it once with each group of people. I will

> be more specific with these relatives next time and

> assign her a fruit salad if she feels awkward coming

> emptyhanded.

>

> >

>

> > Becky

>

> >

>

> >

>

> > From: SillyYaks

> [mailto:SillyYaks ] On Behalf Of

> ozonasusan@...

> > Sent: Saturday, December 31, 2005 12:25 PM

> > To: SillyYaks

> > Subject: People bringing glutened

> goods into your home

>

> >

>

> >

> > I just sent off 10 house guests who were here for

> 4 nights. My three boys ages 13, 11 and 6 have

> celiac. The guests were my husbands parents and all

> of his siblings and their children. The only other

> " children " in the group were ages 2, 20 and 22. We

> were celebrating my husbands parents 60th wedding

> anniversary - what an accomplishment!

>

> >

>

> >

> > At any rate, I was caught off guard when all of

> them, including the grandparents walked in with tons

> of cakes, homemade cookies, banana bread, pies, etc.

> - all of it glutened. They are well aware of our

> children's condition and all of the limitations. We

> have stayed at their homes since diagnosis and we

> have sent them articles and emails giving them info

> on the condition. We have shared with them how hard

> it is for the boys to be around all of the things

> they can't have and what an issue cross

> contamination is - you should see the CRUMBS on my

> counter, floor, etc.

>

> >

>

> >

> > Interestingly enough, I had baked alot of GF items

> and people scarfed them up. They didn't eat their

> own baking until ours was gone, which left me to do

> additional baking for the boys. That part was a

> good thing because my kids liked that others like

> the GF pies, etc.

>

> >

>

> >

> > I am surprised that no one at least called me to

> ask if it was ok. They are my in-laws and not my

> own family and I think that is part of it. My mom

> and sister have knocked themselves out to bake

> gluten-free when we visit or when they visit us.

> They would not think of bringing glutened items into

> our home.

>

> >

>

> >

> > As they were packing to leave last night, I did

> invite them to take all of the left over baked goods

> home. I said, " The boys can't have them and Randy

> and I do not eat those things in front of them. "

> Hint hint.

>

> >

>

> >

> > I am just looking for some clear perspective that

> I might not have. My inlaws have treated our

> children dufferently all along (the other

> grandchildren are children of their daughters) , so

> I am wondering if my feelings on this are just

> " carry over " from previous issues not related to the

> celiac. It is obvious that my husband thinks what

> they did is fine, but that would be a whole other

> chapter.

>

> >

>

> >

> > I would like your input on two things. Am I wrong

> to be annoyed at what they did? How would you

> handle it the next time?

>

> >

>

> >

> > Thanks,

>

> >

>

> >

> > in GA

>

> >

>

=== message truncated ===

Lee Manes

San , CA

__________________________________

Yahoo! for Good - Make a difference this year.

http://brand.yahoo.com/cybergivingweek2005/

January 1, 2006

I always have guests who bring gluten items to my house. I just make

sure that there are separate serving utensils for the gluten free

items and tell everyone. I also keep the gluten free items on a

different table. Never had a problem.

>

> Feelings are exactly what another poster said, neither right or

wrong. Becky also makes a good point here about people not wanting to

be empty handed when they show up (especially those that are

staying!!), that would be their feelings. Either way, it may not have

been the best choice of things your guest could bring, but I guess I

don't think they were " wrong " in their gesture unless you specifically

made clear to them that no gluten is allowed in your house. In

something like Celiac, I've learned that people don't get the subtle

hints so they may not understand the lengths you have to go to to be

GF (we had a recent fondue incident that I had to explain to my

husbands family that once you dip a pretzel into the chocolate, I'm

out - they put the pretzels away!) and how their baked goods are a

problem. My feeling would be that this was a live and learn lesson,

but if next time under specific no gluten orders they still bring

them, then it's a whole new ballgame!

>

> On Sun, 1 Jan 2006 00:54:42 -0600, richabec wrote

> > I had this happen tonight actually. It does really irritate me!

>

> >

>

> > However, I don't think they mean any real harm – I think they are

just clueless. My SIL brought a plate of baked gluten things and NO

ONE ate any of them. They only ate the desserts I provided. I think

she just wanted to feel that she was contributing and not just being a

bum by not bringing anything. Even tho I had very specifically asked

her not to bring anything – grr. I think usually these are well

meaning goobers that just don't understand what a sense of loss comes

from seeing others enjoy what used to be favorite foods that are now

out of reach.

>

> >

>

> > I truthfully am not even tempted – I felt so bad before that I

have no desire to cheat. But I do grieve for my kids – they really do

feel sad when they see these forbidden things and I don't want them to

have to see them in our home. Fortunately, they didn't feel so bad

when the cousins bad mouthed the purchased treats they brought and

were thrilled to eat ours.

>

> >

>

> > I don't have this happen often but I do find it both stressful and

annoying when it does. I do always set up the off limits things in a

different area in case of contamination and watch it like a hawk.

>

> >

>

> > If it is a really crumbly item I put it up completely and tell

them that I am uncomfortable taking the risk in my home. I tell them

we appreciate the thought, but we'll save it for them to enjoy after

they leave. And I only intend to deal with it once with each group of

people. I will be more specific with these relatives next time and

assign her a fruit salad if she feels awkward coming emptyhanded.

>

> >

>

> > Becky

>

> >

>

> >

>

> > From: SillyYaks [mailto:SillyYaks ]

On Behalf Of ozonasusan@a...

> > Sent: Saturday, December 31, 2005 12:25 PM

> > To: SillyYaks

> > Subject: People bringing glutened goods into your home

>

> >

>

> >

> > I just sent off 10 house guests who were here for 4 nights. My

three boys ages 13, 11 and 6 have celiac. The guests were my husbands

parents and all of his siblings and their children. The only other

" children " in the group were ages 2, 20 and 22. We were celebrating

my husbands parents 60th wedding anniversary - what an accomplishment!

>

> >

>

> >

> > At any rate, I was caught off guard when all of them, including

the grandparents walked in with tons of cakes, homemade cookies,

banana bread, pies, etc. - all of it glutened. They are well aware of

our children's condition and all of the limitations. We have stayed

at their homes since diagnosis and we have sent them articles and

emails giving them info on the condition. We have shared with them

how hard it is for the boys to be around all of the things they can't

have and what an issue cross contamination is - you should see the

CRUMBS on my counter, floor, etc.

>

> >

>

> >

> > Interestingly enough, I had baked alot of GF items and people

scarfed them up. They didn't eat their own baking until ours was

gone, which left me to do additional baking for the boys. That part

was a good thing because my kids liked that others like the GF pies, etc.

>

> >

>

> >

> > I am surprised that no one at least called me to ask if it was

ok. They are my in-laws and not my own family and I think that is

part of it. My mom and sister have knocked themselves out to bake

gluten-free when we visit or when they visit us. They would not think

of bringing glutened items into our home.

>

> >

>

> >

> > As they were packing to leave last night, I did invite them to

take all of the left over baked goods home. I said, " The boys can't

have them and Randy and I do not eat those things in front of them. "

Hint hint.

>

> >

>

> >

> > I am just looking for some clear perspective that I might not

have. My inlaws have treated our children dufferently all along (the

other grandchildren are children of their daughters) , so I am

wondering if my feelings on this are just " carry over " from previous

issues not related to the celiac. It is obvious that my husband

thinks what they did is fine, but that would be a whole other chapter.

>

> >

>

> >

> > I would like your input on two things. Am I wrong to be annoyed

at what they did? How would you handle it the next time?

>

> >

>

> >

> > Thanks,

>

> >

>

> >

> > in GA

>

> >

>

> >

>

> >

>

> >

January 1, 2006