Re: No support for loved ones??

[Guest guest]

Oh my, YES! I love my family, but they're clueless! Not only am I

abnormally tired but have extra work just to stay on LID! My

teenage daughter was asked " to help out a little more " since I have

to cook all my food. Of course she says, " Why? It's her mess! " My

hubby, when asked for extra help, sent my daughter! My problem,

like you, is that my family is accustomed to my doing a fair share

of the work (usually most of it) but now I find that I tire before

the work gets completed. When I tried to explain the reasoning

behind it, all she said was, " Sucks to be you! " My solution was to

sit them down for a 15 minute " awareness " session and allow us all

to vent feelings and expectations. Once they knew how much pain and

how much effort it takes to " be in my shoes " , they had a better

attitude...of course, the knowledge that this wouldn't last

forever...that " hypo " was just temporary was helpful. If you have

friends that can come to your aid for the manual labor, let them

KNOW you could use the help. Most people would like to help but

don't know what to do. TELL them a specific chore or task that

would ease the burden. As for me, I do what I can, when I can...and

rest when I need. -- Tammy, the hypo hippo (waiting for RAI next

week)

> I am finding that now I have been Hypo for the second time (first

> time was post-TT) that the people who really are close to you

don't

> necessarily support you.

>

> I find that my live-in girlfriend is getting frustrated with the

fact

> that I am always tired. Normally, I am buzzin' around the house

> cleaning, doing projects, mowing the lawn, etc. Now I hear things

> that she is tired too and is stressed out and having difficulty

> dealing with my condition. She also is frustrated with the fact

that

> most of the household chores have been left for her to do. I try

to

> do some cleaning but fade quickly.

>

> I wish I could help her?

>

> Anyone have been through this at all?

>

> I really don't have anyone to talk to about this and my

frustration

> and resentment is increasing...as I am sure hers is.

>

> Thanks.

[Guest guest]

Oh my, YES! I love my family, but they're clueless! Not only am I

abnormally tired but have extra work just to stay on LID! My

teenage daughter was asked " to help out a little more " since I have

to cook all my food. Of course she says, " Why? It's her mess! " My

hubby, when asked for extra help, sent my daughter! My problem,

like you, is that my family is accustomed to my doing a fair share

of the work (usually most of it) but now I find that I tire before

the work gets completed. When I tried to explain the reasoning

behind it, all she said was, " Sucks to be you! " My solution was to

sit them down for a 15 minute " awareness " session and allow us all

to vent feelings and expectations. Once they knew how much pain and

how much effort it takes to " be in my shoes " , they had a better

attitude...of course, the knowledge that this wouldn't last

forever...that " hypo " was just temporary was helpful. If you have

friends that can come to your aid for the manual labor, let them

KNOW you could use the help. Most people would like to help but

don't know what to do. TELL them a specific chore or task that

would ease the burden. As for me, I do what I can, when I can...and

rest when I need. -- Tammy, the hypo hippo (waiting for RAI next

week)

> I am finding that now I have been Hypo for the second time (first

> time was post-TT) that the people who really are close to you

don't

> necessarily support you.

>

> I find that my live-in girlfriend is getting frustrated with the

fact

> that I am always tired. Normally, I am buzzin' around the house

> cleaning, doing projects, mowing the lawn, etc. Now I hear things

> that she is tired too and is stressed out and having difficulty

> dealing with my condition. She also is frustrated with the fact

that

> most of the household chores have been left for her to do. I try

to

> do some cleaning but fade quickly.

>

> I wish I could help her?

>

> Anyone have been through this at all?

>

> I really don't have anyone to talk to about this and my

frustration

> and resentment is increasing...as I am sure hers is.

>

> Thanks.

[Guest guest]

Tammy's idea of sitting down to discuss your present situation is

excellent. I also think it would be a good idea to let your girlfriend

speak first, so that she can put all her frustrations out on the table at

once. Then you can speak, explaining hypo hell and how, tho it hits some

worse than others, it is not permanent. This is a time to get the house go

somewhat - you should see mine! Housework never disappears, it will be

there to do when you feel better. Maybe you can think about bringing in a

cleaning service and/or a lawn service a time or two until this is over.

Remember too, that understanding runs two ways: You need to understand how

she is feeling just as much as you want her to understand your situation.

Speaking from a personal perspective, my husband now, and my husband

deceased, have always been amazingly strong and active men. That was just a

given for me, eventually, and when my first husband became sick with ALS, it

was like the foundation of my life had crumbled.

Good luck,

Helen, TT 2/02

RAI 4/02

Scan 5/02

HP

29.9mci in 12/92 - hyper, cancer in 2002

Modesto, CA

[Guest guest]

Tammy's idea of sitting down to discuss your present situation is

excellent. I also think it would be a good idea to let your girlfriend

speak first, so that she can put all her frustrations out on the table at

once. Then you can speak, explaining hypo hell and how, tho it hits some

worse than others, it is not permanent. This is a time to get the house go

somewhat - you should see mine! Housework never disappears, it will be

there to do when you feel better. Maybe you can think about bringing in a

cleaning service and/or a lawn service a time or two until this is over.

Remember too, that understanding runs two ways: You need to understand how

she is feeling just as much as you want her to understand your situation.

Speaking from a personal perspective, my husband now, and my husband

deceased, have always been amazingly strong and active men. That was just a

given for me, eventually, and when my first husband became sick with ALS, it

was like the foundation of my life had crumbled.

Good luck,

Helen, TT 2/02

RAI 4/02

Scan 5/02

HP

29.9mci in 12/92 - hyper, cancer in 2002

Modesto, CA

[Guest guest]

Tammy's idea of sitting down to discuss your present situation is

excellent. I also think it would be a good idea to let your girlfriend

speak first, so that she can put all her frustrations out on the table at

once. Then you can speak, explaining hypo hell and how, tho it hits some

worse than others, it is not permanent. This is a time to get the house go

somewhat - you should see mine! Housework never disappears, it will be

there to do when you feel better. Maybe you can think about bringing in a

cleaning service and/or a lawn service a time or two until this is over.

Remember too, that understanding runs two ways: You need to understand how

she is feeling just as much as you want her to understand your situation.

Speaking from a personal perspective, my husband now, and my husband

deceased, have always been amazingly strong and active men. That was just a

given for me, eventually, and when my first husband became sick with ALS, it

was like the foundation of my life had crumbled.

Good luck,

Helen, TT 2/02

RAI 4/02

Scan 5/02

HP

29.9mci in 12/92 - hyper, cancer in 2002

Modesto, CA

[Guest guest]

I think part of the problem is that we don't " look sick " , we're not throwing

up, not losing our hair, not going for treatment multiple times for months &

months, not wasting away (hell, many of us even *gain* weight, try selling

that one -- " oh, yes, I've gained a few pounds because of my cancer

treatment " ! yeah, right!), etc.

So of course we must just be being lazy!

I explained to my family that as a result of NOT being on meds, I'd get more

& more tired; the first time (after TT and before ablation) I really did do

the slug act. The second time I was much more energetic (although ditsy in

the head), but I still refused to make ANY commitments to do anything

more than a few hours in advance, since I could feel crashy any time.

(It helps that I live alone, so don't have to explain myself on a daily

basis.)

Sometimes it's a matter of explaining it -- you're NOT being lazy, you lack

an ESSENTIAL hormone, and you'll get back to normal after a while being back

on meds! Perhaps a visit to an endocrine web site that discusses hypothyroid

features & symptoms would reassure her about your condition.

Best wishes.

bj

No support for loved ones??

> I find that my live-in girlfriend is getting frustrated with the fact that

I am always tired.

> ....

> I really don't have anyone to talk to about this and my frustration and

resentment is increasing...as I am sure hers is.

>

[Guest guest]

I think part of the problem is that we don't " look sick " , we're not throwing

up, not losing our hair, not going for treatment multiple times for months &

months, not wasting away (hell, many of us even *gain* weight, try selling

that one -- " oh, yes, I've gained a few pounds because of my cancer

treatment " ! yeah, right!), etc.

So of course we must just be being lazy!

I explained to my family that as a result of NOT being on meds, I'd get more

& more tired; the first time (after TT and before ablation) I really did do

the slug act. The second time I was much more energetic (although ditsy in

the head), but I still refused to make ANY commitments to do anything

more than a few hours in advance, since I could feel crashy any time.

(It helps that I live alone, so don't have to explain myself on a daily

basis.)

Sometimes it's a matter of explaining it -- you're NOT being lazy, you lack

an ESSENTIAL hormone, and you'll get back to normal after a while being back

on meds! Perhaps a visit to an endocrine web site that discusses hypothyroid

features & symptoms would reassure her about your condition.

Best wishes.

bj

No support for loved ones??

> I find that my live-in girlfriend is getting frustrated with the fact that

I am always tired.

> ....

> I really don't have anyone to talk to about this and my frustration and

resentment is increasing...as I am sure hers is.

>

[Guest guest]

I think part of the problem is that we don't " look sick " , we're not throwing

up, not losing our hair, not going for treatment multiple times for months &

months, not wasting away (hell, many of us even *gain* weight, try selling

that one -- " oh, yes, I've gained a few pounds because of my cancer

treatment " ! yeah, right!), etc.

So of course we must just be being lazy!

I explained to my family that as a result of NOT being on meds, I'd get more

& more tired; the first time (after TT and before ablation) I really did do

the slug act. The second time I was much more energetic (although ditsy in

the head), but I still refused to make ANY commitments to do anything

more than a few hours in advance, since I could feel crashy any time.

(It helps that I live alone, so don't have to explain myself on a daily

basis.)

Sometimes it's a matter of explaining it -- you're NOT being lazy, you lack

an ESSENTIAL hormone, and you'll get back to normal after a while being back

on meds! Perhaps a visit to an endocrine web site that discusses hypothyroid

features & symptoms would reassure her about your condition.

Best wishes.

bj

No support for loved ones??

> I find that my live-in girlfriend is getting frustrated with the fact that

I am always tired.

> ....

> I really don't have anyone to talk to about this and my frustration and

resentment is increasing...as I am sure hers is.

>

[Guest guest]

just remember that being hypo is only temporary. remind yourself and your

partner of that.

~~deidinaus

No support for loved ones??

I am finding that now I have been Hypo for the second time (first

time was post-TT) that the people who really are close to you don't

necessarily support you.

I find that my live-in girlfriend is getting frustrated with the fact

that I am always tired. Normally, I am buzzin' around the house

cleaning, doing projects, mowing the lawn, etc. Now I hear things

that she is tired too and is stressed out and having difficulty

dealing with my condition. She also is frustrated with the fact that

most of the household chores have been left for her to do. I try to

do some cleaning but fade quickly.

I wish I could help her?

Anyone have been through this at all?

I really don't have anyone to talk to about this and my frustration

and resentment is increasing...as I am sure hers is.

Thanks.

[Guest guest]

Hi;

Most of us have been through this.. I'm lucky, my SigOther

understands whats going on and why I'm so tired and not able to help

and just does everything, cooking, cleaning the whole nine yards.

He's always really happy when I get back to normal, but doesn't mind

sharing the load because it is just temporary.

Talking about it with your girlfriend is probably the best way to

approach it.. explaining that its not that you don't want to help,

you just don't have the energy to do it right now, but that soon you

will, and it isn't forever. Decide between you what things can just

wait for a while (the dust bunny police almost never come to

investigate just how perfect the vacuuming is..) so that it lessens

her load too.

Think about treating both of you some week and have a cleaning

service come in and do the house one of the weeks when you are hypo.

(we've kept this as our ongoing plan is that we always have a

cleaning lady every other week because neither one of us likes to do

floors or the bathroom cleaning....) but the occasional treat can

make it all feel less burdensome.

The only good part is that it is temporary, and while 6 weeks seems

like a lifetime when you start going hypo for a scan or RAI, it

really goes quickly and isn't all that long a time in hindsight...

certainly not worth spending energy crabbing over...

good luck

barb

> I am finding that now I have been Hypo for the second time (first

> time was post-TT) that the people who really are close to you don't

> necessarily support you.

>

> I find that my live-in girlfriend is getting frustrated with the

fact

> that I am always tired. Normally, I am buzzin' around the house

> cleaning, doing projects, mowing the lawn, etc. Now I hear things

> that she is tired too and is stressed out and having difficulty

> dealing with my condition. She also is frustrated with the fact

that

> most of the household chores have been left for her to do. I try

to

> do some cleaning but fade quickly.

>

> I wish I could help her?

>

> Anyone have been through this at all?

>

> I really don't have anyone to talk to about this and my frustration

> and resentment is increasing...as I am sure hers is.

>

> Thanks.