Six days to go...

[Guest guest]

Thanks to everyone sending all the good wishes to we happy few who

are about to transition to the other side next week.

Speaking for myself, I'm glad this is almost over, because the

timing of everything in my life is measured next to this particular

signpost, and I want to get past it and move on. Still...

Sometimes I get tweaked a little and wonder just what the heck I'm

doing this for. One person asked whether being able to close my

mouth with a relaxed jaw is really that important. Friends came over

last night to watch the final episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer,

and at the end of the evening, they wished me luck on my surgery and

looked at me with what I guess was supposed to be loving concern in

their eyes, but just looked like *pity*. I love that they care, but

oh, that *look*!

And I know I've talked before about my irrational fear of being

drugged against my will, but it hasn't all the way gone away: late

at night when I can't sleep I have mental arguments with imaginary

anaesthesiologists asking if I can refuse the relaxing stuff up

until just before they put me out, and the anaesthesiologist gives

me such a hard time that I get all agitated and frustrated and then

they give me the stuff even though I don't want it because, gee, I'm

not relaxed. Or they say they won't put it in the IV line even as

they're putting it in anyway. Or after I wake up I'll say I'm fine

and don't want any morphine right then and just want to read a book

but a nurse will click the PCA for me because she feels I should be

sleeping instead. Do I walk around worrying about this stuff? Of

course not. But at 3am when all the irrational stuff seems more real

than it really is, I get all worked up at the idea. Stupid, I know.

(At least I've learned not to get up and post at 3am!)

I had my appointment with the MLD guy yesterday and it went fine.

He's very nice. He does some work for someone else's practice and

some on his own and I couldn't figure out how that figured into the

tipping thing, so finally I decided that a tip was reasonable since

he made a housecall & tipped him 15% (which worked out to $10).

I had my last appointment with my orthodontist today. He said

everything looks fine and that he's worried because I've lost so

much weight right before surgery. I couldn't figure that one out--if

the weight you lose after surgery is muscle & water, what good would

it do to keep the fat on? I told him that I'm under the care of a

dietician and that she's got me eating 75-100gm protein/day post-

surgery, and that seemed to mollify him. Maybe he's worried I'll

keep dieting after the surgery? I don't plan to. (For what it's

worth, the dietician figured out that I should eat 1800 kcal/day

after surgery, and I'll do my best to stick to that.)

My physical at the surgeon's office is this afternoon. I'm all set

to write large cheques (no insurance coverage) and ask last-minute

questions. Wish me luck!

And best of luck to all my compatriots. I'll be thinking about you

all too.

Well, off to swim class... the last one before the surgery (sob!)

Rhonda