Re: TO VIMALA

[Guest guest]

Okay, I usually remain silent, I lurk alot these days, but I feel I have to

put my two cents in here.... *grabs a chair* Okay for starters, I am 28 years

old, and have three kids, two that live with me, my oldest lives with his

Dad, and his Dad and I are still friends. Anyway, I have a very strong,

loving husband, who is 4 and a half years younger than me, We have fought,

not only to get me out of a previous abusive marriage and all the crap that

goes along with that, but we also uprooted my kids ( my six week old

daughter and son that was just over two and a half at the time ) To follow my

fiancee across the country, and two thousand miles of ocean from NY to Hawaii

) We went through hell let me tell you, which set off this strange disease,

which at the time we didn't know what it was, and I could not move, and was

very demanding, and tired, and grouchy...We ( the kids and I ) ended up

having to go to AZ, because we had no where to stay here in Hawaii, and I

came back to finish my divorce and fight a war with my now Husband's unit,

who was causing alot of our grief... And I was diagnosed with Fibro. We are/

were VERY active people, I enjoy hunting, fishing, camping, hiking ect

ect..And I have days where I can barely get out of bed, and my now husband

not only KNOWS about my disease, he supports the struggles with the doctors,

the meds, and me not being able to move....He helps take care of our kids,

and with the housework.... NOT all men are that shallow, and it's not fair to

them, or to us to lump them into catagories, and I believe that it extremely

important to be honest. If they leave, well...that's on them...But someone

will stay someday..To lock yourself off from the possibilty of love, is so

unfair to yourself. My husband is my rock, and a father not only to our

daughter, but he is the only man to be a Daddy to my son. Not all men are

creeps hon. I promise. Put yourself in the other shoes, would you want a

companion to hide something, say cancer..from you until after they were

fairly sure you wouldn't leave? I myself, would feel like I were being

trapped. Someone out there will love you for who you are, pain and all.

Please remeber that it's not only hard on us, but for our family and friends

to watch us suffer knowing that they can't help us.

So much love and prayers to all of you.

-Lori, Dan, Ben, Becca, and furry kids.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 8/19/2001 11:11:54 AM Pacific Daylight Time,

chubbygrrl50@... writes:

> The only men that seem to be able to deal with it are

> LONG-TERM husbands in 20-30 year marriages that knew

> their wives when they were healthy and probably feel

> as if they " owe " them and will not leave them because

> of ill health.

Hi,

I know that there are men out there who just can't deal with fibro,

but there are also a lot of good ones out there too. I was always honest

about my health when I dated and no one ever had a problem with it. My

husband knew about it when we started dating and he never even gave it a

second thought. He takes very good care of me. He was telling some guys at

his work about me and our situation. And some of them said things like " I

wouldn't put up with that " or " I'd be gone so fast " . These men are not in

long term relationships, hmm wonder why?...

My husband doesn't stick around because he owes me, he's here because

he loves me. If you find the right person that will be all that matters.

To all of you that have had men treat you badly because of this

horrible disease, I'm really sorry and I know that you're very hurt. But

don't give up.