Guest guest Posted February 26, 2001 Report Share Posted February 26, 2001 Dana, I think he understands that I am in favor of counselling. He really wants to go to a Christian retreat that focuses on marital counselling but is disappointed because I will not go until after the 1st trimester, when I know the pregnancy is stabilized. He thinks our counselor is " creating " a situation where he can say what's on his mind; he doesn't see that she's allowing him to create a 40 minute bitch session where he can rip me apart, then I'm given 5 minutes at the end to comment (afterwards she always comments on how I have to have the last word). I think you get the picture... maria Re: Dana > , > > Well being a family therapist, I know if more harm than good is coming out of > a counseling session then it's time to look for another therapist. Does he > understand that it's this particular therapist and not counseling in general > you are opposed to? > > I am thinking positive, I too believe in the power of it. > > Dana > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 26, 2001 Report Share Posted February 26, 2001 Dana, I think he understands that I am in favor of counselling. He really wants to go to a Christian retreat that focuses on marital counselling but is disappointed because I will not go until after the 1st trimester, when I know the pregnancy is stabilized. He thinks our counselor is " creating " a situation where he can say what's on his mind; he doesn't see that she's allowing him to create a 40 minute bitch session where he can rip me apart, then I'm given 5 minutes at the end to comment (afterwards she always comments on how I have to have the last word). I think you get the picture... maria Re: Dana > , > > Well being a family therapist, I know if more harm than good is coming out of > a counseling session then it's time to look for another therapist. Does he > understand that it's this particular therapist and not counseling in general > you are opposed to? > > I am thinking positive, I too believe in the power of it. > > Dana > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 26, 2001 Report Share Posted February 26, 2001 , I have seen it so many times...and how unethical it is to let one partner rant and rave while the other one is forced to listen. Very rarely does any good come out of venting like that. It usually results in a lot of hurt feelings with the ventor feeling feeling like things are great (should have come here earlier) and the ventee feeling like they just got hit by a train. In my humble professional opinion, I would definitely advise you to find another therapist, Christian or not. Dana Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 26, 2001 Report Share Posted February 26, 2001 , LOL I think it is the best decision. Counseling is very intense and can be the most vulnerable place we ever knowingly put ourselves in. You both have to be satisfied and comfortable or it does no good. It's couples counseling not individual therapy. there are some real winners out there and you have to be choosy to dig around and find one that fits you both. Dana Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 26, 2001 Report Share Posted February 26, 2001 , LOL I think it is the best decision. Counseling is very intense and can be the most vulnerable place we ever knowingly put ourselves in. You both have to be satisfied and comfortable or it does no good. It's couples counseling not individual therapy. there are some real winners out there and you have to be choosy to dig around and find one that fits you both. Dana Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 26, 2001 Report Share Posted February 26, 2001 Hi Dana, It's amazing, that's exactly how we feel. thinks our counseling is the greatest thing ever and I can't believe how blind he is. I left her a message that we will not be there for the next 3 weeks. I was a bit rude and called at 7:25, our appointment was at 7:30 - I figure she's charging us for the missed appointment either way so why give her time to call him and work and convince him to come. I know, very sneaky of me, but I couldn't help it..... Alf made me do it????? maria Re: Dana - off topic > , > > I have seen it so many times...and how unethical it is to let one partner > rant and rave while the other one is forced to listen. Very rarely does any > good come out of venting like that. It usually results in a lot of hurt > feelings with the ventor feeling feeling like things are great (should have > come here earlier) and the ventee feeling like they just got hit by a train. > In my humble professional opinion, I would definitely advise you to find > another therapist, Christian or not. > > Dana > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 26, 2001 Report Share Posted February 26, 2001 Hi Dana, It's amazing, that's exactly how we feel. thinks our counseling is the greatest thing ever and I can't believe how blind he is. I left her a message that we will not be there for the next 3 weeks. I was a bit rude and called at 7:25, our appointment was at 7:30 - I figure she's charging us for the missed appointment either way so why give her time to call him and work and convince him to come. I know, very sneaky of me, but I couldn't help it..... Alf made me do it????? maria Re: Dana - off topic > , > > I have seen it so many times...and how unethical it is to let one partner > rant and rave while the other one is forced to listen. Very rarely does any > good come out of venting like that. It usually results in a lot of hurt > feelings with the ventor feeling feeling like things are great (should have > come here earlier) and the ventee feeling like they just got hit by a train. > In my humble professional opinion, I would definitely advise you to find > another therapist, Christian or not. > > Dana > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 27, 2001 Report Share Posted February 27, 2001 , I hope that you can get the whole counselor thing worked out. If you really feel it is doing more harm than good, stand firm and don't go back. I know may be mad for a while, but think about what could happen if you continued to go. There are therapists out there who for one reason or another seem to align (side) with one person in the relationship. If that's what is happening, that is very dangerous, and bordering on an ethics violation. As far as pg symptoms go....Heck I don't know what to think. In some ways I feel things I am sure I never felt before, but then I go back and look at my journal and find every month it seems I am feeling things I never felt before. Today is 12/13 dpdiui and honestly AF could show up as early as tomorrow. We have rented a cabin at the river for the weekend. I have go to get away from work, and feels like no matter what happens, it would be best to get away for a weekend. So I am taking off work Friday, and we are leaving early that afternoon. I should know by then if I am pg, but I am just so nervous. What are you feeling?? As far as bending over....WHAT??? How could you go through a day without bending over, and I am with you on the squatting seems more likely to cause damage. YIKES, I bet it was a suggestion not a necessity that you don't bend over. What does Pam say? Dana Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 27, 2001 Report Share Posted February 27, 2001 , I am going to forward this message to my work email and I am going to try and look up the specific ethics code she seems to be wavering on. I'll get back to you this afternoon. Find out if she has a degree from an accredited University. There are some pretty wacky school of thought out there. Plus is sounds like she has definite boundary issues with your DH. Scary... Dana Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 27, 2001 Report Share Posted February 27, 2001 , I am going to forward this message to my work email and I am going to try and look up the specific ethics code she seems to be wavering on. I'll get back to you this afternoon. Find out if she has a degree from an accredited University. There are some pretty wacky school of thought out there. Plus is sounds like she has definite boundary issues with your DH. Scary... Dana Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 27, 2001 Report Share Posted February 27, 2001 Dana, I just wanted to say I hope you receive good news but take care of yourself. It is great that you are going away. I am sure you could really use it. Try to relax. (we all must hate hearing that. lol) - I hope things work out. Dana is right, when two people go for counseling they are suppose to have a counselor who is a middle man to help work things out and not take sides at all. You should never feel like you are not being heard when you go. Counseling can be a great thing with the right counselor. --- gradstu12@... wrote: > , > > I hope that you can get the whole counselor thing > worked out. If you really > feel it is doing more harm than good, stand firm and > don't go back. I know > may be mad for a while, but think about what > could happen if you > continued to go. There are therapists out there who > for one reason or another > seem to align (side) with one person in the > relationship. If that's what is > happening, that is very dangerous, and bordering on > an ethics violation. > > As far as pg symptoms go....Heck I don't know > what to think. In some > ways I feel things I am sure I never felt before, > but then I go back and look > at my journal and find every month it seems I am > feeling things I never felt > before. Today is 12/13 dpdiui and honestly AF could > show up as early as > tomorrow. We have rented a cabin at the river for > the weekend. I have go to > get away from work, and feels like no matter > what happens, it would be > best to get away for a weekend. So I am taking off > work Friday, and we are > leaving early that afternoon. I should know by then > if I am pg, but I am just > so nervous. What are you feeling?? > > As far as bending over....WHAT??? How could you go > through a day without > bending over, and I am with you on the squatting > seems more likely to cause > damage. YIKES, I bet it was a suggestion not a > necessity that you don't bend > over. What does Pam say? > > Dana > > > [Non-text portions of this message have been > removed] > > __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 27, 2001 Report Share Posted February 27, 2001 Thanks Dana, The tough part is convincing of that.... It's like he gave me a couple weeks to keep me quiet, I know he really does NOT agree with thoughts on our current counselor. It's just as you stated, he thinks it's great because all his feelings are being met. I don't know, maybe I should call her and tell her what I think, but then I think, why bother. I told her directly a few weeks ago and it did no good. On to happy topics! Those pains/pangs sound really promising, how are you feeling today? Every now and then I feel a little pressure pang in the uterus area; I know it's something I never felt before. I completely flipped out all night because someone I met at my doctor's office emailed to ask how I was surviving without bending over? I had no clue what she was talking about!!!! I went back through all my instructions and there it was, starring me in the face " for the next 12 days, try to refrain from sexual activity, bending at the waist, vacuuming, strenuous exercise, and lifting anything heavier than 15 pounds. " I must have read that line 100 times since the transfer and I never saw the bending part. thinks my mind jumped at the no sex part and went straight to no vacuuming. He was trying to make me laugh, but it's not funny.... I'm waiting to talk to the IVF nurses. Have you ever thought of how many times you bend over during the day? I can probably tell you each one (I was up thinking about it ALL night long)!!!! Just what I need, something else to freak out over.... maria maria Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 27, 2001 Report Share Posted February 27, 2001 Thanks Dana, The tough part is convincing of that.... It's like he gave me a couple weeks to keep me quiet, I know he really does NOT agree with thoughts on our current counselor. It's just as you stated, he thinks it's great because all his feelings are being met. I don't know, maybe I should call her and tell her what I think, but then I think, why bother. I told her directly a few weeks ago and it did no good. On to happy topics! Those pains/pangs sound really promising, how are you feeling today? Every now and then I feel a little pressure pang in the uterus area; I know it's something I never felt before. I completely flipped out all night because someone I met at my doctor's office emailed to ask how I was surviving without bending over? I had no clue what she was talking about!!!! I went back through all my instructions and there it was, starring me in the face " for the next 12 days, try to refrain from sexual activity, bending at the waist, vacuuming, strenuous exercise, and lifting anything heavier than 15 pounds. " I must have read that line 100 times since the transfer and I never saw the bending part. thinks my mind jumped at the no sex part and went straight to no vacuuming. He was trying to make me laugh, but it's not funny.... I'm waiting to talk to the IVF nurses. Have you ever thought of how many times you bend over during the day? I can probably tell you each one (I was up thinking about it ALL night long)!!!! Just what I need, something else to freak out over.... maria maria Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 27, 2001 Report Share Posted February 27, 2001 Thanks Dana, The tough part is convincing of that.... It's like he gave me a couple weeks to keep me quiet, I know he really does NOT agree with thoughts on our current counselor. It's just as you stated, he thinks it's great because all his feelings are being met. I don't know, maybe I should call her and tell her what I think, but then I think, why bother. I told her directly a few weeks ago and it did no good. On to happy topics! Those pains/pangs sound really promising, how are you feeling today? Every now and then I feel a little pressure pang in the uterus area; I know it's something I never felt before. I completely flipped out all night because someone I met at my doctor's office emailed to ask how I was surviving without bending over? I had no clue what she was talking about!!!! I went back through all my instructions and there it was, starring me in the face " for the next 12 days, try to refrain from sexual activity, bending at the waist, vacuuming, strenuous exercise, and lifting anything heavier than 15 pounds. " I must have read that line 100 times since the transfer and I never saw the bending part. thinks my mind jumped at the no sex part and went straight to no vacuuming. He was trying to make me laugh, but it's not funny.... I'm waiting to talk to the IVF nurses. Have you ever thought of how many times you bend over during the day? I can probably tell you each one (I was up thinking about it ALL night long)!!!! Just what I need, something else to freak out over.... maria maria Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 27, 2001 Report Share Posted February 27, 2001 Dana, I think it's a great idea that you and go away for the weekend, you've both been under so much stress lately and could use some down time. The counselor is definitely favoring . I think she is awe of him (he has a very strong reputation in the medical industry) and wants to please him. Neither one of them realize that they're beating me up, it's become some sort of joke between them. There is absolutely NO WAY I am going back there, and I've basically told him that he's not going either. He's kind of ticked off about that, but too bad! I have thought about reporting her to some sort of ethics board, but I don't know where to start. I think her degree is from a Christian school, but not sure. I have no clue about the bending over thing. I don't think Pam's ever heard of it, but my doctor has done a lot of things that her's hasn't (everyone's different...). says it's because they don't want to put pressure on the uterus, but then again, squatting pushes down on the cervix. I'm confused again. I think I'm going to try calling the doctor's office again. maria Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 27, 2001 Report Share Posted February 27, 2001 Dana, I think it's a great idea that you and go away for the weekend, you've both been under so much stress lately and could use some down time. The counselor is definitely favoring . I think she is awe of him (he has a very strong reputation in the medical industry) and wants to please him. Neither one of them realize that they're beating me up, it's become some sort of joke between them. There is absolutely NO WAY I am going back there, and I've basically told him that he's not going either. He's kind of ticked off about that, but too bad! I have thought about reporting her to some sort of ethics board, but I don't know where to start. I think her degree is from a Christian school, but not sure. I have no clue about the bending over thing. I don't think Pam's ever heard of it, but my doctor has done a lot of things that her's hasn't (everyone's different...). says it's because they don't want to put pressure on the uterus, but then again, squatting pushes down on the cervix. I'm confused again. I think I'm going to try calling the doctor's office again. maria Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 27, 2001 Report Share Posted February 27, 2001 Dana, I think it's a great idea that you and go away for the weekend, you've both been under so much stress lately and could use some down time. The counselor is definitely favoring . I think she is awe of him (he has a very strong reputation in the medical industry) and wants to please him. Neither one of them realize that they're beating me up, it's become some sort of joke between them. There is absolutely NO WAY I am going back there, and I've basically told him that he's not going either. He's kind of ticked off about that, but too bad! I have thought about reporting her to some sort of ethics board, but I don't know where to start. I think her degree is from a Christian school, but not sure. I have no clue about the bending over thing. I don't think Pam's ever heard of it, but my doctor has done a lot of things that her's hasn't (everyone's different...). says it's because they don't want to put pressure on the uterus, but then again, squatting pushes down on the cervix. I'm confused again. I think I'm going to try calling the doctor's office again. maria Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 27, 2001 Report Share Posted February 27, 2001 Dana - I am sending you +~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~. Are you keeping track of your temps? The temps were my first sign that something was up. But you are right, every month there was something new in the symptoms, so I thought that could be just a new temperature pattern. At 13dpo, I felt so yucky - crampy and cold - I swore AF was right around the corner. My SIL was visiting and she said it was the same with her. The moral is, you really can't tell until the day AF is supposed to be there. I am hoping she stays away from you this time. Good luck, a > As far as pg symptoms go....Heck I don't know what to think. In some > ways I feel things I am sure I never felt before, but then I go back and look > at my journal and find every month it seems I am feeling things I never felt > before. Today is 12/13 dpdiui and honestly AF could show up as early as > tomorrow. We have rented a cabin at the river for the weekend. I have go to > get away from work, and feels like no matter what happens, it would be > best to get away for a weekend. So I am taking off work Friday, and we are > leaving early that afternoon. I should know by then if I am pg, but I am just > so nervous. What are you feeling?? > > As far as bending over....WHAT??? How could you go through a day without > bending over, and I am with you on the squatting seems more likely to cause > damage. YIKES, I bet it was a suggestion not a necessity that you don't bend > over. What does Pam say? > > Dana > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 27, 2001 Report Share Posted February 27, 2001 Dana - I am sending you +~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~. Are you keeping track of your temps? The temps were my first sign that something was up. But you are right, every month there was something new in the symptoms, so I thought that could be just a new temperature pattern. At 13dpo, I felt so yucky - crampy and cold - I swore AF was right around the corner. My SIL was visiting and she said it was the same with her. The moral is, you really can't tell until the day AF is supposed to be there. I am hoping she stays away from you this time. Good luck, a > As far as pg symptoms go....Heck I don't know what to think. In some > ways I feel things I am sure I never felt before, but then I go back and look > at my journal and find every month it seems I am feeling things I never felt > before. Today is 12/13 dpdiui and honestly AF could show up as early as > tomorrow. We have rented a cabin at the river for the weekend. I have go to > get away from work, and feels like no matter what happens, it would be > best to get away for a weekend. So I am taking off work Friday, and we are > leaving early that afternoon. I should know by then if I am pg, but I am just > so nervous. What are you feeling?? > > As far as bending over....WHAT??? How could you go through a day without > bending over, and I am with you on the squatting seems more likely to cause > damage. YIKES, I bet it was a suggestion not a necessity that you don't bend > over. What does Pam say? > > Dana > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 27, 2001 Report Share Posted February 27, 2001 Dana - I am sending you +~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~. Are you keeping track of your temps? The temps were my first sign that something was up. But you are right, every month there was something new in the symptoms, so I thought that could be just a new temperature pattern. At 13dpo, I felt so yucky - crampy and cold - I swore AF was right around the corner. My SIL was visiting and she said it was the same with her. The moral is, you really can't tell until the day AF is supposed to be there. I am hoping she stays away from you this time. Good luck, a > As far as pg symptoms go....Heck I don't know what to think. In some > ways I feel things I am sure I never felt before, but then I go back and look > at my journal and find every month it seems I am feeling things I never felt > before. Today is 12/13 dpdiui and honestly AF could show up as early as > tomorrow. We have rented a cabin at the river for the weekend. I have go to > get away from work, and feels like no matter what happens, it would be > best to get away for a weekend. So I am taking off work Friday, and we are > leaving early that afternoon. I should know by then if I am pg, but I am just > so nervous. What are you feeling?? > > As far as bending over....WHAT??? How could you go through a day without > bending over, and I am with you on the squatting seems more likely to cause > damage. YIKES, I bet it was a suggestion not a necessity that you don't bend > over. What does Pam say? > > Dana > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 27, 2001 Report Share Posted February 27, 2001 Dana is right, when two > people go for counseling they are suppose to have a > counselor who is a middle man to help work things out > and not take sides at all. You should never feel like > you are not being heard when you go. Counseling can be > a great thing with the right counselor. Thanks !!!! maria Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 27, 2001 Report Share Posted February 27, 2001 Dana is right, when two > people go for counseling they are suppose to have a > counselor who is a middle man to help work things out > and not take sides at all. You should never feel like > you are not being heard when you go. Counseling can be > a great thing with the right counselor. Thanks !!!! maria Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 27, 2001 Report Share Posted February 27, 2001 > I am going to forward this message to my work email and I am going to try and > look up the specific ethics code she seems to be wavering on. I'll get back > to you this afternoon. Dana, Thanks so much! I'm positive she went to a Christian college, but I'll find out the name. I hate to say it, but people suck up to him all the time (she is definitely crossing the line though...). maria Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 27, 2001 Report Share Posted February 27, 2001 > I am going to forward this message to my work email and I am going to try and > look up the specific ethics code she seems to be wavering on. I'll get back > to you this afternoon. Dana, Thanks so much! I'm positive she went to a Christian college, but I'll find out the name. I hate to say it, but people suck up to him all the time (she is definitely crossing the line though...). maria Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 27, 2001 Report Share Posted February 27, 2001 > I am going to forward this message to my work email and I am going to try and > look up the specific ethics code she seems to be wavering on. I'll get back > to you this afternoon. Dana, Thanks so much! I'm positive she went to a Christian college, but I'll find out the name. I hate to say it, but people suck up to him all the time (she is definitely crossing the line though...). maria Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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