just stuff

[Guest guest]

Hi all,

I've not been posting much lately, but I am trying to catch up on

reading posts a couple of times per week. My job has been close to

all consuming lately. This month I feel that I am pregnant. I've

been pregnant 3 times before (never carried to term) so I think I

recognize those little symptoms. I don't think I'll know until

around the 19th. It's been heartbreaking to read of some of the

struggles some of the newly or recently pregnant members are going

through. I do think of you and grieve for you often. Does anyone

else have days that they just can't read posts because it's too

scary? I've been having lots of those. I know there are great

success stories too, but this time around I'm really scared about

being pregnant - assuming I am able to conceive again. My sister had

5 miscarriages and now she has 2 children! She was 10 years younger

than me when she got started, but I realize happy endings to happen.

Although I'm in relatively good spirits these days I just can't bear

the thought of another miscarriage. Any words of wisdom that I might

be able to incorporate into a daily mantra? I continually tell

myself - with regard to so many things in life - that since there is

so much in life that I cannot control I need not worry so much about

others " doing the right thing " . Rather, I just have to trust that I

am capable of dealing with whatever comes my way. I talk to myself

along similar lines with regard to conception and sustaining a

pregnancy as well, however, I often don't really convince myself that

I can truly handle whatever does happen. I tend to ramble, so I'll

stop there. As always, I greatly appreciate all the support and

insights that come from this group! Take care!!

J.