Re: going AWOL for awhile . . . (long)

January 14, 2003

~hugs~ I dont know what else to say.

Jacquie H

going AWOL for awhile . . . (long)

Hi friends,

Our cable tv/internet connection is being shut off tomorrow, I am about two

months behind on the bills with no hope of catching up at this time. So I

will be offline for who knows how long until things start improving around

here financially. I can still check email at my mom's house, but don't have

plans to visit her on more than a sporadic basis over the next few weeks as

she's two hours away from me and my car is still not drivable due to the

Christmas Eve accident, and I have no money for repairs.

If anyone has a desperate need (!) to talk to me, has my home phone

number, which should be good for 2-3 more weeks.

I will be moving shortly, too, which is another stressful event going on

here. My lease is set to expire on March 1st, so I have been scouring the

papers for another house in my price range, that accepts dogs (I have two

labs which I refuse to get rid of -- they're " family " ).

Because I am still $200 shy of paying December's rent, much less nowhere

close to getting January's taken care of, my landlord has informed me he will

be instituting eviction proceedings if he does not get paid in full by the

end of this week. That is not going to happen, so I am going to use all my

spare time packing in hopes I can find something immediately, if not sooner,

and my stuff doesn't wind up in the street.

BTW, this is the same landlord that has refused to repair the ongoing

flooding problem in my basement. I have been living in the upstairs level of

this house because the downstairs is not habitable. When I mentioned this to

him, that's when he flew off the handle and started threatening eviction. I

am just as eager to get out of here as he is for me to leave. Paying $1,300 a

month to only have access to half a house is just not worth it to me.

Those of you who have followed events in my life over the past couple of

years know that the father of my two youngest children is an alcoholic, and

has caused us much grief and financial problems. In April of 2002 he was

arrested for speeding through a residential neighborhood on the way to bury

one of our dogs who was hit by a car. He was driving on a suspended license,

it was not his first or second or even third time being arrested for this so

he appeared before a judge and was sentenced to twelve months in our county

detention center, and allowed the privilege of " work release, " which meant he

was able to leave the jail in the mornings to go to his regular job, and then

expected to return that evening and sleep in the jail. This meant we still

had money coming in, although a good portion of it went towards his legal

fees and jail fees.

All of that changed in September when he decided to get drunk on the job. He

was caught immediately and lost work release privileges, and we've been

without his income ever since. It has been a long, stressful fall and winter

because of this, I've been living on credit cards and owe everyone money. My

" plan B " to rent out bedrooms in this house was a wash, because the house

began flooding and I could not live in the basement with the kids.

On Sunday, he was released from jail permanently, and arrived home at noon,

spending most of the day with the kids. He had plans to use the beginning of

this week to repair my car (which will save me a few hundred dollars if he

does it) and also get his work truck on the road so he can begin making some

money and get us caught back up with the bills.

Monday morning he left here on the bicycle to finalize some paperwork needed

for getting the truck legally tagged, and was then going to Motor Vehicles.

At some point during yesterday afternoon his priorities changed. By 3pm when

he called to check in, he was already drinking, I could hear it in his voice.

He didn't come home last night, he passed out at a friend's house. I spoke

with him at 8:30 this morning, he was already drinking. I have no clue if he

will be home tonight, or what shape he will be in.

I give up. I have no vehicle, am soon to have no home, etc. And no " plan C "

to fall back on. I have already taken advantage of help available from

government agencies here locally.

I guess the only thing left to do now is pray for a miracle.

Sorry to bum everyone out. I just can't see the forest for the trees right

now, I really don't know what to do next at this point.

-BJ in polis, MD

January 14, 2003