Re: Freaking/I'd freak too!

[Guest guest]

Darla,

By now you have most likely had dinner with your mother. I didnt get your

message until just now and its 8:00pm. I sure hope it went well, and I do agree

with Kris, in that you should just be civil, you dont really owe her anything

just because she is your mother. It sounds like she wasnt a mother to you in

the true sense of the word. I am glad you have made peace with how she treated

you, but I know it will still bother you from time to time. I have the same

feelings about my biological father. As a matter of fact, when I was in the

hospital having my son, my father called my grandfather (just coincidence) and

my grandfather decided to pass the phone to me and I dont even have a

relationship with my father!!! I was a little miffed, and my father had the

" cajones " to ask ME to dinner too.

I politely said we'll see, and then a week later told my grandparents not to get

their hopes up because there would BE NO relationship, and I havent heard from

him since. I totally relate to what you are going through, and again, I sure

hope it went well tonight.

Marcy

Freaking

Okay, this has nothing to do with prgnancy -- other than maybe

being more sensitive because of it -- but I just wanted to " talk. "

I'm meeting my mother in an hour and am starting to feel sick

because of it. Sounds awful of me, doesn't it? Well, my mom and

I aren't exactly close. She lives out of state and I haven't seen her

for about 4 years. (When I went there for my oldest sister's

remarriage -- my mom didn't even come to my wedding the year

before that. And of course my sister's divorced again now.) My

mom has gone her own way since I was 13, leaving me in foster

care with my sis and on my own at 16. She never remembers my

birthday and this Christmas was honestly the first time in years

I've gotten a card from her. Every once in a great while she calls

me from out of the blue but she never talks for more than a

minute and she keeps it light and cheery. (She's Cleopatra, the

Queen of Denial! : ) I've dealt with most of this so it's all just

history, not complaining. The problem is that she's a stranger,

yet she seems to have some sudden expectation of being in my

life. Not my real life, of course, just my superficial life. (Real life is

too messy.)

ANYWAY (sigh), she's in town for the evening and wanted to go

to dinner (not alone of course, my husband too), so here I go.

This would be uncomfortable at best -- I may not feel anger

toward her anymore but I certainly do feel protective of my real

self -- but with my new pregnancy I'm worried I'll feel especially

vulnerable. Or maybe I already do feel especially vulnerable. It's

certainly true that I've already had nightmare visions of her

showing up at the hospital and being let into the delivery room

because she's my mother (and quite charming). But mostly I just

feel nauseated (and very tired ; ).

Any really quick advice?

THANKS for listening!!!

--Darla

Children are a blessing, and a gift from the Lord. -Psalm 127:3