Re: GRRRRRR .... sob.... wail...

[Guest guest]

So... here I

> am on the hamster wheel again. picking up large pieces

> of furniture off the floor which a 47 lb child tosses

> just to get under my skin for not laying down and

> snuggling with him last night (which by the way I had

> to fold laundry at the time).

Sorry, Jeanette. How long would he want a snuggle? Might save time in the

long run if the furniture picking up takes about as long as the laundry

folding. But that is a hard one to know in advance.

Had to take over a half an hour

> dealing with this and all the careful (and non fear

> creating) explanations about why he cannot take a

> knife to school. The energy for this kind of crap is

> overwhelming.

Oh, don't you just hate it when you realize you are going to have to spend a

long time dealing with something like this when you really need to do other

things.

>

> Oh, and and I are in family counseling ... the

> counselor suggested I take a parenting class for my

> extremely Oppositional which starts today..

> When does this class take place?? during the day of

> course.. More time away from my studio, more time I

> cannot make a living.

I am sorry.

>

> I get $32.00week child support for each of the kids

> and in an average week I end up taking 15 hours for

> meetings, appts, counseling, doctors for them.

>

> Dad works full time at UPS, takes the kids 16 hours a

> week (just enough tme for me to take a bath and a nap)

> and is angry at me all the time because I have HIS son

> in counseling.. oh, he doesnt need counseling.. no,,

> he just threatens to hurt himself and is a rage

> aholic..

Well, Lou objects to this kind of thing too. I do know where you are coming

from. But Lou never takes all the kids (he cannot fit the whole family in

his tiny car) and the two little ones he had hardly over Christmas break,

and this after making a big Whoop-ti-do at mediation about how I was taking

the kids to Ohio and he couldn't see them at Christmas and he hadn't seen

them last year because I called the cops on him. Then we get home, he takes

Sophie for an overnight and takes the little boys sledding for an hour and

Enrique and for their workout two days and that is it. I'm not

even sure Sophie got sixteen hours, but the Robbie and Putter were gone only

one hour for the week after Christmas and Enrique and about three

hours.

>

> and I am getting the sense that my health is

> deteriorating.. getting days when I am achy, joints

> popping, tired... I fear fibromyalgia.. but i know

> nothing about it.

I am not feeling too hot these days either.

>

> HELP ME

> I need some prayers for strength.. and I dont want to

> go to this FUCKing parenting class today!!!!

No, and it probably won't do any good. It probably isn't your parenting.

> hmm. I think I am experiencing some anger, what do you

> think?

Actually you sound perfectly sensible to me.

Salli

[Guest guest]

>>I need some prayers for strength.. and I dont want to

go to this FUCKing parenting class today!!!!<<

My two cents... unless you feel you need it, don't go. Take the time and

get something done that you need to do. If it's something you want or

have to do... make an excuse, it does no good to go to something like

that if you''re not going to get anything out of it.

debbi

[Guest guest]

>>I need some prayers for strength.. and I dont want to

go to this FUCKing parenting class today!!!!<<

My two cents... unless you feel you need it, don't go. Take the time and

get something done that you need to do. If it's something you want or

have to do... make an excuse, it does no good to go to something like

that if you''re not going to get anything out of it.

debbi

[Guest guest]

>>I need some prayers for strength.. and I dont want to

go to this FUCKing parenting class today!!!!<<

My two cents... unless you feel you need it, don't go. Take the time and

get something done that you need to do. If it's something you want or

have to do... make an excuse, it does no good to go to something like

that if you''re not going to get anything out of it.

debbi

[Guest guest]

<snip>

> So... here I am on the hamster wheel again. picking up large pieces

> of furniture off the floor which a 47 lb child tosses

> just to get under my skin for not laying down and

> snuggling with him last night (which by the way I had

> to fold laundry at the time).

Hi Jeannette,

I've been through this too, when Ethan has just been a royal pain all

day and I want nothing more than for him to just *go to sleep* and he

wants me to lay down with him. These are usually the days I am

fantasizing about mailing him to Siberia and hoping he comes across a

very hungry tiger! I would rather fold laundry, organize my sock

drawer or scrub sticky gooey crap off the floor on my hands and knees

than spend one more minute with him.

The nights that I just really need a break and Ethan doesn't want

daddy (he never does) are usually the worst. And Ethan will scream

for HOURS those nights. I finally decided it was better for all of us

if I just lay down with him. Sometimes he'll let me get up before he

falls asleep, sometimes I'll just lay there until he's out. It's

funny how calming that is, laying there watching his sleeping face in

the dark and listening to him breathe. He's so " normal " when he's

sleeping.. It makes the hardest days a little less hard when I can

just let everything go. Forget that I want to write, I need to peel

noodles from lunch off the carpet, and I have to put the clothes in

the dryer or we won't have anything to wear. There's definitely a

lesson in there somewhere..

<snip>

? Had to take over a half an hour

> dealing with this and all the careful (and non fear

> creating) explanations about why he cannot take a

> knife to school. The energy for this kind of crap is

> overwhelming.

Ethan is in kindergarten so he's not trying to take anything that

interesting to school yet, but it's always something. Usually

something that's going to be very distracting, like his train whistle

(which finally broke from too much use) and now a regular whistle. Or

a video tape or a cd or something that's going to bug his teacher. He

will throw an all out fit if I tell him no. We walk to school and

getting him in a bad mood before we leave the house is a bad idea

becuse he will just be a little shit all the way to school, not

walking with me, running away ahead and mouthing off. Makes me want

to throw him in front of an oncoming truck some mornings! I walk

several other neighborhood kids to school and it's so hard dealing

with him in a mood, and his friend who is severely ADHD and follows

Ethan around like a puppy dog, plus my two year old. It's gotten to

the point that I say " fine " to whatever, but that it has to stay in

his backpack and then I let his teacher know he's got it and let her

deal with it! I'm so bad! I know this isn't as serious as wanting to

take a knife to school. I'm sure when Ethan is older we'll be going

through something similiar, especially since his daddy collects

swords..

> Oh, and and I are in family counseling ... the

> counselor suggested I take a parenting class for my

> extremely Oppositional which starts today..

> When does this class take place?? during the day of

> course.. More time away from my studio, more time I

> cannot make a living.

I'm sorry things are so hectic for you right now. We will be doing

family counseling soon. My husband and I are totally different when

it comes to parenting styles. He's very authoritarian " because I say

so " and I'm very AP, " look at it from their eyes " . I've noticed doing

things more my hubby's way has more an effect on Ethan, (who

apparently needs hard and fast rules and structure) and my way works

on the baby. <grin> But we have a lot of strife between us because

Ethan has learned how to play us off each other, and we're so tired

we don't have the energy to constantly touch base with each other.

<gah!> I'm kind of looking forward to counseling though, I just

can't deal with conflict much longer.

> Dad works full time at UPS, takes the kids 16 hours a

> week (just enough tme for me to take a bath and a nap)

> and is angry at me all the time <snip>

My husband works full time, plus he's dealing with a kidney disease

and a weakened immune system on top of that, so he's always tired. He

thinks because I stay home that I have it easier. I left the kids

with him for under an hour last night and Ethan screamed the entire

time I was gone. I think he's slowly getting an idea of what I go

through everday. He's also finally realizing that just an hour away

on my own works wonders on my mood! But it's hard when I know he

feels awful and feeling guilty because he works all day in a job he

hates then I want him to come home and get screamed at..

> and I am getting the sense that my health is

> deteriorating.. getting days when I am achy, joints

> popping, tired... I fear fibromyalgia.. but i know

> nothing about it.

Going through this too. I am fighting laying down. All week Willow

and I have gotten up at 6:30, taken Ethan to school and laid back

down at 8:30 and sleeping til 11. Which makes me stay up at night til

1 am which is not working for me! So I'm trying to stay up. I know as

soon as Will's ready for a nap I'm going to have a hard time

resisting! I am just so worn down that I don't even want to eat, and

I have no energy to carry the baby around or play much..

> HELP ME

> I need some prayers for strength..

My thoughts are with you! (hug)

Love and Light,

a

Mama to Ethan (1/97)

and Willow (6/00)

[Guest guest]

All I can say is BTDT, except for the single parent part, but dh

works odd hours and travels often. Hang on, do the best that you

can, and just try to make it one day at a time. Sometimes the next

fifteen minutes is all I aim for. ((hugs))

[Guest guest]

All I can say is BTDT, except for the single parent part, but dh

works odd hours and travels often. Hang on, do the best that you

can, and just try to make it one day at a time. Sometimes the next

fifteen minutes is all I aim for. ((hugs))

[Guest guest]

>>>>>>>>>>>

I need some prayers for strength

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Prayers, vibes and god thoughts heading your way.

Wish I good send you some time for yourself too.

Tuna

=====

You can learn many things from children.

How much patience you have, for instance.

- lin P.

______________________________________________________________________

Post your free ad now! http://personals.yahoo.ca

[Guest guest]

>>>>>>>>>>>

I need some prayers for strength

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Prayers, vibes and god thoughts heading your way.

Wish I good send you some time for yourself too.

Tuna

=====

You can learn many things from children.

How much patience you have, for instance.

- lin P.

______________________________________________________________________

Post your free ad now! http://personals.yahoo.ca

[Guest guest]

>>>>>>>>>>>

I need some prayers for strength

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Prayers, vibes and god thoughts heading your way.

Wish I good send you some time for yourself too.

Tuna

=====

You can learn many things from children.

How much patience you have, for instance.

- lin P.

______________________________________________________________________

Post your free ad now! http://personals.yahoo.ca

[Guest guest]

> Slowly, everything is

> being tied down, thrown out, moved or bolted

We call this " Boone-proofing the house. "

Things like eating,

> sleeping working, laundry, cleaning, get in the way of

> completely fixing this room all at once.

Try keeping the majority of toys stored awaya nd just let him have a few at

a tiume. there will be less mess, less breakage and you can always pull out

a " new " toy when you need one. Sounds kind of mean, like you're depriving

him, but you'd be amazed at how effective it is.

Boone has several boxes. One for storage, one for rewards and one for our 20

minute " learning sessions " -- a very modified ABA therapy we do at home.

We also keep all videotapes in a large box and only allow a few at a time or

else he throws them all over the house and destroys them.

As for the rest, men suck. Even the good ones suck sometimes.

I have a very oppositional demon child myself, but I don't think I need

counseling or a parenting class. HE (Dillon) needs the counseling. We went

for his first appointment Wednesday (I had to reschedule and it took another

six weeks to be seen). We learned nothing in three hours, just filled out a

bunch of questionnaires. What fun.

Sissi

[Guest guest]

> Slowly, everything is

> being tied down, thrown out, moved or bolted

We call this " Boone-proofing the house. "

Things like eating,

> sleeping working, laundry, cleaning, get in the way of

> completely fixing this room all at once.

Try keeping the majority of toys stored awaya nd just let him have a few at

a tiume. there will be less mess, less breakage and you can always pull out

a " new " toy when you need one. Sounds kind of mean, like you're depriving

him, but you'd be amazed at how effective it is.

Boone has several boxes. One for storage, one for rewards and one for our 20

minute " learning sessions " -- a very modified ABA therapy we do at home.

We also keep all videotapes in a large box and only allow a few at a time or

else he throws them all over the house and destroys them.

As for the rest, men suck. Even the good ones suck sometimes.

I have a very oppositional demon child myself, but I don't think I need

counseling or a parenting class. HE (Dillon) needs the counseling. We went

for his first appointment Wednesday (I had to reschedule and it took another

six weeks to be seen). We learned nothing in three hours, just filled out a

bunch of questionnaires. What fun.

Sissi